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Crazy Nekkid Hyjinx With Sylvina Beagley

June 24, 2010 at 12:49 am by  

West Valley City, UT - When it comes to crazy, butt-nekkid shenanigans, Sylvina Beagley has me beat by a country mile. According to police, at about 5:00 Tuesday morning, Sylvina pulled up alongside a car parked on the shoulder. The driver of the vehicle was posting business signs somewhere on the side of the road. Sylvina exited her vehicle, butt-nekkid, hopped in dude’s ride and took off. The bewildered sign poster hopped in Sylvina’s abandoned car and gave chase while dialing 911. A short time later, Sylvina crashed the stolen vehicle into a fence and took off on foot. The cops were on her trail at that point, but had a rather difficult time gaining control of the woman. “She did have blood on her body from the initial crash. She was hot and sweaty, dirty, and very slippery. She managed to escape the grasp of the two officers,” Capt. Tom McLachlan said. Her would-be captors shaken off, she was on the run again. This time, she plopped her naked and sweaty ass in the driver’s seat of a patrol car and hit the gas.

She didn’t get too far. Little Miss slammed into another gate, hit a berm and flew about 50 feet into the air. Once the totaled patrol car landed, Sylvina fled on foot, bravely scaling a barbwire fence in her mad dash to freedom. Gotta give the girl props, she’s got crazy stamina! As usual, the fun and games were over once the tasers made an appearance. After a tasin’ and a mental evaluation, Sylvina, 31, was booked on charges of motor vehicle theft, public lewdness, felony fleeing, and resisting arrest. Police do not believe drugs or alcohol played a factor in the incident. Now, I’m all about getting bare-ass-nekkid and enjoying a midnight ride on my neighbor’s lawn mower while waving my aluminum foil sword in the air and belting out show tunes, but even I gotta draw the line at blatant thievery. Silly Sylvina…

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35 Comments

Comments


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  • B33r_g0gg13s

    I love you Morbid, you are amazing!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    You spelled Jaded wrong….

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.leese James Sumner Leese

    Thievery on its own is generally a bad thing, but when its thievery of a cop car it raises it to a thing of beauty! also, she really ended it on a high note, good job

  • Vindictive

    I think he spelled it just fine…

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Yeah I gotta give the girl props. She got a stolen cop car airborne, while nekkid.

  • tennesseebudd

    She has you beat at crazy, butt-nekkid shenanigans? C'mon, Jaded, you've got to work harder. Raise the stakes. We have faith in you.

  • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

    “Police do not believe drugs or alcohol played a factor in the incident”

    Well them maybe she has some very SERIOUS MENTAL ISSUES! Do normal people act like that? Just wondering

  • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

    That was precious Jaded hahaha.

  • petepuma

    Now the question that's on everyone's mind… Was her vagina clean shaven, well-groomed, or a hairy mess?

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    I love you Jaded, you are a Goddess!

  • cplkevindheglar

    “I’m all about getting bare-ass-nekkid and enjoying a midnight ride on my neighbor’s lawn mower while waving my aluminum foil sword in the air and belting out show tunes”

    Damn I missed you Jaded. If she wasn't high on drugs she's gotta be crazy as a bedbug. How would anyone with an inkling of sanity steal not 1 but 2 cars buck ass nekkid? I see a good defense attorney getting this dismissed on grounds of insanity. Only a insane person would wreck a perfectly good police car before running out of gas.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Damn dude, a gentlemen never kisses and tells. What kind of asshole do you think I am???
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    It was like having sex with a wet wig.

  • Kaos

    God damn, she is my dream girl, hawt, nekkid, crazy and slippery. How much is the bail?

  • Kaos

    Plus, I love you too Jaded

  • Guest420

    Best GTA real life enactment EVER!

  • bridget217

    VERY slippery (and hot, sweaty and dirty, all good things under the right circumstances). If I was a cop chasing her ass, I'd have a giant net.Makes me think of that Johnny Cash song-A Boy Named Sue-”the mud 'n the blood n the beer”

  • wishfulsinful

    Wonder if she kicked like a mule or bit like a crocodile????

  • BlueDreamer

    This story reminds me of when I had my first beer…

  • Wildheart

    Well that question wasn't on MY mind…..until now thanks! :)

  • Wildheart

    I love it when I see a story title beginning with “Crazy Nekkid Hyjinx”!! Great write up Jaded! :)

  • kello

    So, I found her Facebook page, and I don't think she's all there. Apparently she was already due in court for another disturbance. From her comments, she stated that she was arrested because

    “I disturbed the peace at the school by being too happy!”
    and
    “I'm sure my actions offended a lot of people. I feel that I was overcome by a dark spirit because I was too prideful which caused me to put on a terrible show. But I do know that I'm a normal human being and have no intention of being on medication for the rest of my life because of one incident.”

    I'm just speculating here, but it looks like she just can't keep her clothes on!

  • kello

    *arrested before

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I feel that I was overcome by a dark spirit because I was too prideful which caused me to put on a terrible show.

    I told my probation officer the same thing just last week….how weird is that?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I know, right? If, by Goddess, you mean hawt drunken crazy mess…then you would be right!!

  • dallas

    Her vagina is a hot,dirty,slippery,sweaty mess…at least thats what the police reported.

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    That's exactly what I meant!!! I am so jealous.

  • lisaznola

    Thank you Jaded!
    I am almost tempted to buy a ride on mower and try to get you to move to NOLA.
    LOTS of booze, but no front lawn.
    LOL

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Free booze? I am so there….

    No lawn mower, huh? Got a Big Wheel? Scooter? Unicycle? Any one of those will work in a pinch….

  • http://www.facebook.com/cie.cheesemeister Cie Cheesemeister

    I can't help it, this one made me laugh. Naked, mentally unbalanced person is much more entertaining than all the damn sick baby killers I'd been reading about.
    Before anyone gets on my ass for saying rude things about mentally unbalanced people, I have several psych diagnoses myself. So I have carte blanche to do so.
    However, my mental illness does not, fortunately for the world, include getting naked before stealing cars. I always steal cars fully clothed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cie.cheesemeister Cie Cheesemeister

    Mine either, no indeed. Personally I prefer to think of vagina as little as possible.

  • Vercingetorix Xiii

    Poor Lady, I feel for her, I wouldnt like to have this illness, we laugh and yeh its funny to us, but Im sure when you think about it for a minute, its really sad, where is her facebook…

  • guest

    She was the PTA president of my daughters school and a very nice woman. I would have never guessed in a million years she would have done something like this. Guess you really truely never know people!

  • Captzaraki

    wow mad props 2 her 4 shore i mean damn that kinda makes me wanna go do wut she did. It might be worth the shitz and giggles

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

    *goes into full body dry heaves*@ at the thought of this skanks sweaty nasty stinkin wasp nest smered all over the seats.. ugh! ….hope the hazmat team fumigated well..
    .
    lmfao@ “Police do not believe drugs or alcohol played a factor in the incident”
    - yeah and I have some swampland in the dessert to sell to those cops

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GWBV2FUY3OBYX3RNK6I44QSC7I Kwum

    *goes into full body dry heaves*@ at the thought of this skanks sweaty nasty stinkin wasp nest smered all over the seats.. ugh! ….hope the hazmat team fumigated well..
    .
    lmfao@ “Police do not believe drugs or alcohol played a factor in the incident”
    - yeah and I have some swampland in the dessert to sell to those cops