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Man Stabs Roommate For Complaining About His Loud Sex With Homeless Woman

June 23, 2010 at 8:15 am by  

Myrtle Beach, SC – A 58-year-old man was trying to get a little shut-eye the other night, but was finding it a bit difficult to do because his roommate, 40-year-old Russell Willis Shepherd Jr., was loudly banging a homeless woman. The older man got sick of listening to it and asked Sheperd to keep it down. This request was met with Sheperd jumping out of bed and stabbing the man in the hand. Sheperd was later arrested and charged with second degree assault and battery. You know I feel for the victim, I really do. But there have been multiple occasions where I have found myself balls deep inside the stinking vagina of a homeless woman, my tongue snaking in between her missing teeth, her wine-laden breath hitting me in the face like a steaming pile of garbage while the meth sores on her face crack open with every cry of pleasure she makes. Not once did my parents ever say “Dear, could you please get your guest off the dining room table, we are trying to enjoy a family dinner.” Wanna know why? Respect. Respect and the fact that you just don’t interrupt a guy getting his groove on. No one likes a cock-blocker and I am pretty sure the Bible says it is an unforgivable sin.

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36 Comments

Comments


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  • Thomasrachael

    HA!! I have to say that you come up with the BEST descriptions!!

  • littlemoonseductress

    Cock-blocking…..Unforgivable sin….. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa….Oh my ribs hurt! Shit !

  • http://twitter.com/maeford penelope mccane

    LMFAO!

  • TheImperialCerealKiller

    God. I love you, Morbid. You need to write a book.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    I should learn not to drink anything while reading Morbid's posts. :p

  • Mitchell Lisa24

    that was a hell of a picture goin thru my mind

  • cplkevindheglar

    Drink I was actually eating breakfast and the Cheez on my Bacon Egg and Cheez bisquit actually started oozing out of the side of the bisquit and I puked a little in my mouth thinking about the meth sores on Big M's girlfriends face. Hope you strap on trojan's my friend sounds like you have some bad dating habits.

  • Eracsurfer

    This has definitely made my top 5 write ups of all time! Possibly #1!

    Side note, am I the only one that thinks he looks like a strung out Kato Kaelin?

  • littlemoonseductress

    “Side note, am I the only one that thinks he looks like a strung out Kato Kaelin?”

    Oh Hell Yeah!

  • cplkevindheglar

    When was Kato Kaelin not strung out?

  • Mommy0f6

    Definitely. I literally LOL'd through the entire thing.

  • nicb

    One of the funniest write up's I have seen here… Morbid you are THE shit!!!

  • Su Do Nim

    That's a “body-condom” moment if I ever heard of one.

  • Su Do Nim

    Yeah Morbid – that was hysterical. Now I need to go wipe the coffee off my monitor. Thanks for the giggle.

  • Ravyn1965

    LMAO! Before I even read the write up I was saying to myself, “WTF did Kato do now?” Glad I wasn't the only one who say the resemblance!

  • Gee

    I think I threw up in my mouth after that one. Thanks Morbid! Now I need brain bleach to get rid of the visuals

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    Oh Jesus. That was fucking hilarious! *Wipes tears from eyes*

    I don't know anymore if I come here for the tears of pity for the victims or the tears of laughter from reading your ad lib. Either way, I'm hooked and I will never leave now.

  • mamalovesit

    That has GOT to be the funniest thing I have read in a LONG time!!! That is some good shit!

  • cplkevindheglar

    Got to Ditto that one.

  • wishfulsinful

    “my tongue snaking in between her missing teeth”
    That is THE most repulsive, poetically impressive thing I've read this week, my hat's off to YOU, Sir Morbid, keep the stimulating visuals coming!!! I love you Morbid, you are amazing! Okay, my knees hurt and my neck's getting sore, on to the next story!!!

  • runnergirl

    Well, Morbid, that cured my lust for you.

  • Joevma

    Oh my GAWD Morbid.

  • Abroad

    I love you Morbid, you are amazing!

    (Though after reading this I might have to think twice about loving you, if you understand what I mean. :-P )

  • aka jas

    Wow Morbid! “balls deep” Wow……………. ahhhh, thanks I needed that laugh. Thats fucked up man.

  • BlueDreamer

    Morbid you are such a romantic!

  • Guest420

    everyone in the office think i am a weirdo now, thanx MORBID!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    But there have been multiple occasions where I have found myself balls deep inside the stinking vagina of a homeless woman, my tongue snaking in between her missing teeth, her wine-laden breath hitting me in the face like a steaming pile of garbage while the meth sores on her face crack open with every cry of pleasure she makes.

    GAAAAAH!! The visions! They burn!

    That's it, I'm exchanging my over-active imagination for a slightly used, under-active one. Thanks, you ass.

  • dallas

    Ewwwww…
    You are the man Morbid. I just need to know one little detail…When you're laying pipe with the meth skank and you start lickin and tongueing the sores on her face and body, do you ever get scab chunks in your mouth? do you spit or swallow? Just asking…

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  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    I know, right?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Liar

  • Michelle_shonk

    Absolutely disgusting. God damn- Morbid you are making me HORNY!

  • WriterOnFire

    How did Sleepy dwarf know that Stabby dwarf's raunchy piece of ass was homeless??
    Did she park her shopping cart in his spot??

  • Count Rackula

    Holy shit. I don't even know what to say to you right now, man. Will anything ever erase all of those pictures from my brain? It was hilarious but I don't think I'll get down on a meal for the next few hours…

  • Nigger

    i woulda stabbed that bitch in the throat i fuck the homeless all the time and they always scream nobody stops be i fucked a homeless crackhead in the ass for 3 hours with a king cobra 40oz bottle he loved that shit quit hating

  • Sugarglider1

    If this is really your life, I wouldn't go around bragging about it, if I were you.