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NORTH OLMSTED, OH – Jaded sent me this story because she said it turned her on so bad she had to keep taking breaks while typing it up. A 63-year-old man is facing misdemeanor exposure charges after he was observed by some Target shoppers, and police, sitting in his car with is pants down. Well, that is actually over-simplfying things a bit. He was observed by someone in the parking lot who saw him sitting in his car parked close to the Target store where he had covered himself with a newspaper. Cops were called and were able to surprise the man who was still sitting in the car with no pants. He explained that he was just relaxing and had no pants because it was hot (I use that one when I pick up the kids from school). But stranger still was what police retrieved from the man’s vehicle, items that included pornographic magazine photos, a bag containing women’s under garments, a handful of long brown hair and a clear container containing fluids. What fluids, you may ask? I dunno. That’s all the article said. Use your imagination I guess. Could have been orange juice, could have been a gallon of freshly squeezed man juice. This man has a history of this kind of behavior, having been charged with indecent conduct in 1969 and Peeping Tom charges in 1973. I am starting to think that if you want to see a murder your chances are better off at Wal-mart. However, if you wanna see a guy jacking off, Target is the place to be.

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  • http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

    OHMYGOD, I had a bra just like that one. Mine is missing. UGH!

    Are these old men completely insane. Do they think they will get by with
    their junk hanging out? I don't get it.

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    He's hawt! :P

  • guillotinegirl

    The obscene gesture not only detracts from, but is blocking, the feminine lines of the bra.

  • Guest

    Yuck

  • sedation

    Isn't that why he was sans pants?

  • Parrot Toes (kathybird)

    Nah, I mean hawt in like, I'm gonna leave my husband, kids and birds, go get him out of jail and marry him. I'm totally turned on by his bra. Come to think of it, I'll bring my birds with me :P

  • BlueDreamer

    Back off girls!!!!… He's mine!

  • dallas

    Since its Target, he's only gonna jack half off. Or would that be half jack off?

  • Vitchy

    One more old man masturbating story and I am going to be traumatized for the rest of the hour.

    *trying not to vomit*

  • Soobs

    I think the Target logo gets them all sexy feeling.

  • WriterOnFire

    I guess it must be true what they say about men & holes.

  • Honestygone

    I hope he didn't force children to watch his business. This was done to me and my 2 brothers (ages 9, 7, and 6 months) when our parents left us in a vehicle to shop a “going out of business” sale. The creep even drove around to my brothers side to give him a better view. We were in a truck, so I put my brothers down on the floorboard. These selfish creeps have no care or concern for anyone. I am 45 years old and still have nightmares of that incident.

  • Jury

    Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with his pants on the ground.

  • LeaveMeBe

    I am going to have to start shopping at Target. What I wouldn't give to bop a weiner on my way in or out of that place.

  • Angelica379

    you look like mr furley from threes company

  • Anonymous

    Target is way sexier than Wal-Mart.

  • Anonymous

    Target is way sexier than Wal-Mart.