Pinellas County, FL - Travis Wiley had a busy, busy day last Wednesday. The supposed transient allegedly started his day off with a little grand theft auto – the real stuff, not the video game. After pulling in to the Don CeSar that morning, Wiley left the borrowed car running with the lights on, prompting hotel security to run a check on the plate. It came back as stolen. By then, Wiley had already made his way into the hotel. Before they could find the slippery bastid, he forced his way into one of the rooms, hitting the female guest inside the room with the door. He then helped himself to some money, credit cards, gift cards, a cell phone, some stamps, a Dell laptop computer and a computer bag. As Wiley was exiting the room, the room’s male guest returned and gave chase. There was a bit of a scuffle between the two and Wiley punched the hotel guest in the forehead before fleeing with his ill-gotten booty. Just down the road from the hotel, Wiley stumbled across a sunbather on the beach. He got all touchy-feely with the woman, said, “I’m Jesus,” and told her he was going to have sex with her. And dammit! he wasn’t going to apologize afterward because he created her! Worst. Line. EVAR.
After the alleged rape on the beach, Wiley was on the run again. He encountered a security officer at some point and hit the man’s hand, possibly breaking it. Somehow, he was eventually corralled and hauled off to the slammer. Wiley, 29, has been charged with sexual battery, strong-arm robbery, home invasion, driving with a revoked or suspended driver’s license, possession of stolen property, providing a false name to a law enforcement officer, petty theft, disorderly conduct and two counts of felony battery. He sits behind bars on $181,750 bail.Tags: Battery, Crime, disorderly conduct, Florida, Home Invasion, Jesus, Mugshot, petty theft, Pinellas County, Sexual Battery