Man Used Kik Messaging App To Share Child Porn Of His 1-Year-Old StepdaughterElderly Man Killed Himself With Chainsaw After Attacking His Wife With HatchetMan Murdered Woman Then Ate Her Brains With A Glass Of Her BloodMan Beat 4-Month-Old Daughter To Death Because She Was CryingTeen Girl Killed Newborn By Shoving Rock Down Baby's ThroatWoman Smothered Daughter For Talking Back, Tossed Body In DumpsterTeen Posted Selfies With Murdered Teacher Before Killing Self With Circular SawMan Accused Of Raping, Murdering His 9-Month-Old DaughterParents Charged After Their Dead Baby Found Rotting In Baby SwingMan Accused Of Severely Beating Toddler Because She Interrupted Video Game

Monthly Archives: May 2010

RIVERHEAD, N.Y. – Magicians give me the creeps. I like a good magic trick or illusion, but the magician who performs them always comes across as…I dunno…off. You ever met a professional magician? If you have, you know what I’m talking about. I’m sure there are some perfectly normal people out there who decided to take up magic as a living who are just as normal as someone who spends their free time posting about people being murdered. Maybe. But even if there is, 52-year-old Bob Infantino isn’t one of them. Once known as “Long Island’s Favorite Magician,” he just pleaded guilty to 44 counts of unlawful surveillance and 64 counts of possession of child pornography. He was busted using a hidden camera to videotape women and children in his home photography studio. Unless he manages to make himself vanish into thin air, he is expected to spend 5 to 15 years in prison where he may resume his magic with a new act that includes dicks disappearing into his ass.…

GRESHAM, Ore. – Back in October, 1-year-old Ariana Magathan was being cared for by her grandmother, Carolyn Bellamy, when 911 was called by someone reporting that the little girl had fallen out of bed and was knocked unconscious. She died four days later, just shy of her 2nd birthday. But medical examiners were not buying the story. The injuries Ariana suffered were not consistent with a fall out of a bed, and more consistent with someone playing bongos on it with their fists. “The Medical Examiner has described the cause of death as violent blunt force trauma to the head. It has been agreed that the injury is not consistent with a fall out of bed,” Sgt Rick Wilson with the Gresham Police Department said. So on Wednesday a grand jury indicted Bellamy on felony murder and manslaughter charges. On Thursday, police arrested Bellamy at her home and put her in jail without bail.…

LILBURN, Ga. – In a true testament to just how much I suffer for my art, I have decided NOT to go to the new, hip club that’s opening tonight, an opening I was getting paid a pretty good amount to show up to. No, I have decided that there were too many interesting stories floating around today and I’m gonna post about them in a D’D Friday Night Extended Edition. Starting with the story out of Georgia about the kid who had a balloon full of bleach tossed on him as he walked home from school. Seems as if the town has a yearly ritual at the end of every school year in which the middle schoolers are harassed by the high schoolers. Normally harmless bullshit, but this year there was a turd in the punchbowl. Well, three of them to be exact. 14-year-old Miguel Mesa was walking home from Lilburn Middle School with his friends when they were hit by the bleach ballons thrown by some teens in a van.…

Minneapolis, MN – Investigators are calling it one of the worst cases of child abuse they have ever seen. A 6-year-old boy was viciously beaten because he supposedly misbehaved at school. When interviewed by authorities, the child said “my daddy whooped my butt.” His “daddy” isn’t his daddy at all – he’s mommy’s boyfriend. According to authorities, 37-year-old Troy Lamont Clay tied the child to a pole in the basement and flogged him 60-100 times with an electrical cord. And the child’s mother, 30-year-old Jacquelyn Wander Williams, just sat there and watched. “Mom was right there, she sat down, watched it happen and did not lift a finger to stop it, nor did she lift a hand to give this kid first aid, didn’t bring him to the hospital, didn’t treat him,” said Minneapolis police Lt. Greg Reinhardt, head of the department’s child abuse unit. There was bruising from the child’s neck down to the top of his butt. “When the child was brought to the hospital and they did an exam, the doctor looked at his back and there wasn’t a square inch of the child’s back that didn’t have a mark on it.” He went on to say the beating was barbaric, like something out of the dark ages.…

ATLANTA, GA. – Keenon Aampay Hall, once named Teacher of the Year at a Gwinnett County high school, has resigned from her position one day after an investigation began over allegations she had an ongoing affair with a 17-year-old student. The student went to school officials after Hall gave him a failing grade. He told them that he and the 29-year-old English teacher began their sexual relationship after he went to her to get help with his homework. He told them that the relationship lasted around six months and involved sex in motels, other people’s houses and even a classroom. But when he refused to get her pregnant, things turned bad. “But what made Keenon Hall mad at me is the fact that I would not give her a baby and I said ‘no, I will never’ and that night she began crying because of how mad she was,” the student said. “She took me home and never said anything else to me.” Well aside from her taking him from an A to an F in English.…

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Thursday should have been a great day for Evan Smalley, 8, and his sister Nadia, 10, seeing as it was their last day at Bordeaux Elementary before beginning summer vacation. But the pair missed their school bus that morning and began walking to school a little over a mile away. As they passed one of the houses along the road, a Chihuahua and a Beagle mix began barking at them. Frightened, the siblings ran out into the road where they were struck by a 40-year-old woman driving a 2003 Pontiac Grand Prix. Both children were taken to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in critical condition. The owner of the two dogs, 59-year-old Lottie Berry, has been charged for not having the dogs secured and not having their vaccinations up to date. GODDAMN CHIHUAHUA AND BEAGLE MIXES! While the media focuses on pit bull attacks, these little bastards are out there under the radar, trying to kill the future of America. Seriously, I hope the kids pull through and this incident ends up as nothing more than a story they will be re-telling to friends for many, many years.…

Police: Mom Blows .39 With Three Kids In Car

May 28, 2010 at 8:17 am by  

Mahwah, NJ – Georgette Massi, 36, is accused of driving drunk with three children in her car. And not just a little drunk, Demonites – Massi had a BAC of .39 – nearly 5 times the legal limit. Jesus! At that level, I’d be way past puking and incapacitated and into a coma of sorts. She was pulled over Wednesday afternoon for swerving and driving at a low rate of speed. When the officer made contact with her, he noticed she had two flat passenger tires, her breath was rather boozy-smellin’ and there was a nearly empty whiskey bottle on the front seat of the vehicle. Also inside the vehicle were three sobbing children – her two children, ages 1 and 6, and a 6-year-old family friend. When the officer asked the children why the tires were flat, they told him Massi said she hit a bump. He believes she may have done one helluva curb check. The children were handed over to family members and Massi was taken to the tank.…

Chicago, IL – According to police, 22-year-old Christopher Marciano is accused of approaching a 3-year-old girl in the Cook County courthouse Tuesday morning and sexually assaulting her. Marciano was at the courthouse that morning to be fitted for a GPS unit he had been ordered to wear after his arrest for violating an order of protection in a domestic violence case earlier this month. While he was waiting, he reportedly began making a nuisance of himself by singing and dancing in the hallways. Deputies were less than thrilled with Marciano’s performance and escorted him to the probation office, telling staff to alert them if dude’s behavior became a concern. And it did. Right quick. Once the deputies left, Marciano approached the 3-year-old girl and asked her a question. When she tried to answer him, he allegedly grabbed her by the butt and stuck his tongue in her open mouth. Family members intervened and deputies were immediately called back into the office to take custody of Marciano. …

Daily Bites

May 27, 2010 at 5:00 pm by  
  • Well, I want to thank me for all the hard work I did today. I did an amazing job and I don’t know what I would do without me. Thanks, me, I am a true gentleman and a scholar. Maybe later I will show me my appreciattion with a nice steak and a handjob. Until then, here are a few stories I didn’t have time to get to.
  • JACKSONVILLE BEACH, Fla. – Floridians continue to show true class after Jacquelyn Tinsley was involved in a hit and run where she slammed her van into a car carrying three people. She drove home and forced her 15-year-old son to take the van away so she could report it stolen – which she did. Florida cops, used to this kind of retardation by now, were not buying it. The teen finally admitted the truth and told police where the van was. His mother was arrested, but still spouted her innocence and blamed her son. “Absolutely not. It was all his fault. I had nothing to do with it,” Tinsley said.

LA CENTER, Wash – Police Sgt. Jerry Lester was eating lunch at the Palace Casino when security officers approached him and informed him that a little boy was sitting in a Lincoln Navigator in the parking lot. They paged the 3-year-old boy’s mother and before long, 32-year-old Valerie Tran came outside drunk and just couldn’t understand what the big deal was. She didn’t understand why they were upset at her leaving her kid in a car with no food, spoiled milk and a soiled diaper while she gambled…for thirteen hours. I mean, she would come out of the casino and check on him ever few hours or so. Like, gosh! Cops gave the kid a teddy bear and some fresh clothes while casino employees brought him some water and a PB & J. Child protective services took the boy and charged Tran with leaving a child unattended in a vehicle — a gross misdemeanor that carries a maximum sentence of two years in jail and a $1,000 fine. Anyone find a pic of her and I’ll send you a pair of my underwear I was about to give to Goodwill (nevermind, Coyote wanted ’em more than anyone).…

Kyleigh Ann SousaTEMPE, Ariz – I think that Jaded and FlamingFox have run off to Vegas together. So until they get back, it looks like you are stuck with me today. Tempe police need help trying to track down and arrest the jackass who couldn’t even perform a simple purse snatching without killing a woman.

Kyleigh Ann Sousa, a 21-year-old ASU student, was approached by a heavyset man in a newer model silver Chrysler 300 on Wednesday morning. The driver reached out and grabbed her purse before driving off. Sadly, Sousa’a arm became entangled in her purse strap and she was dragged a few feet before hitting her head on the pavement. She would die from her injuries later that night.

Sgt. Steve Carbajal stated that there were witnesses to the incident, but no one got a good look at the driver, described as a Hispanic with a heavy build, driving a silver, four-door Chrysler 300. Anyone with information is asked to contact Tempe police at 480-350-8311 or silent witness at 480-WITNESS.

Not that it makes anyone else’s death less tragic, but man she was ridiculously hot.…

Man Charged After Hanging His Dog

May 27, 2010 at 8:56 am by  

HAWTHORNE, Calif. – What are the odds that I would have two stories today featuring dogs peering out from behind bars? Who cares. This story does not involve a pit bull raping kids in a day care, but rather a pit bull who was saved after neighbors observed its owner abusing it. Neighbors heard the yelps of pain and screaming coming from the home of 19 year old Ricardo Salvador Plascenia. When one went to investigate, they witnessed Plascenia slam a 50 pound pit bull, named Mary Jane, onto the concrete. He then punched and kicked Mary Jane before treating her like some kind of flag; hoisting her onto a pole by her choke chain. By time police got there the dog had been taken down, but luckily one of the neighbors captured the entire event on cell phone video. Plascenia was arrested Monday and booked on charges of animal cruely and cultivation of marijuana. Mary Jane was taken to the Carson animal shelter where she will eventually be put up for adoption.…

Ravyn1965 posted a story in our forums out of Long Branch, New Jersey about a 20-year-old volunteer youth adviser who they say sexually assaulted a teen boy. Craig Reeves was arrested on Thursday for allegedly engaging in sexual acts with a 14-year-old boy he met while volunteering as a youth adviser. He also pretended to be a young woman on MySpace, using photos of nude young women to solicit photos of young men. Source: App.com

SEMINOLE, Fla. – Since I don’t want people thinking I am out to get pit bulls or something, here is a story involving Mickey – a 6-year-old 95-pound male Rottweiler-German shepherd mix. The other day Mickey went batshit insane for a currently unknown reason. Richard Blackey is currently in serious condition suffering from bites to his arms, chest and neck after his pet dog turned on him. Melissa Howell, Blackey’s girlfriend, stated that Blackey had returned to their bedroom with a plate of food when she heard him yelling and the dog growling. Next thing you know, the dog was eating Blackey. She said that even as Blacey was crawling out of the bedroom, Mickey continued his assault. She tried to intervene, but the dog bit her as well. She was finally able to trap the dog in a bedroom and call police. The dog was taken by Pinellas County Animal Services. Howell told officers that Blackey has had Mickey since he was a puppy and that Mickey had bitten Blackey a few years back.…

CROSBY, Minn – We did some dumb shit in school, but this is one fad I can never remember doing. It looks as if male youths find entertainment in punching other unsuspecting males in the groin. I am not sure if this took off because of some of the repressed homosexual antics of the Jackass crew, but whatever the reason, this practice has cost a boy a family jewel. As 14-year-old David Gibbons changed classes at Crosby Ironton High School, his testicles were assaulted by a punch from another student. The next day he woke up in excruciating pain. Before long, his right testicle was snipped and dangling from the forceps of a surgeon. The Gibbons are scheduled to meet with Crow Wing County Attorney Don Ryan to find out if the student that did the nutcracking can be criminally charged. At risk of sounding like an old man screaming from the other side of the generation chasm, I have to ask, “WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!

The Daily Bites

May 26, 2010 at 4:08 pm by  
  • I guess it’s a good day when there isn’t much bad news to report. Here are a couple other stories that were floating around today.
  • BURRELL TWP., PA – Two teenage census workers were assaulted by a 43-year-old man who wanted them OFF HIS GODDAMN LAWN!! Timothy Cowan has been accused of chasing the two off his property and then following them in their vehicle. When the teens, an 18-year-old male and a juvenile female, ran off the road, Cowan reached in and grabbed one teen around the neck and threatened to punch the girl in the face.
  • LOUISVILLE, KY – 50-year-old Glen B. Altman was arrested after witnesses observed him masturbating in full view of children at a food mart. He then went outside by a pay phone and continued to jack off because I mean, once you’ve started you might as well finish – it’s not like the charges get worse at that point. He’s a handsome guy, you should check out his mugshot. He has also been in trouble for this kind of thing before, having been charged with indecent exposure at least three times before and two counts of stalking.

Harrison Twp., PA – James Histand, 54, was driving along in his Subaru station wagon Sunday evening and somehow managed to get his vehicle stuck in some muck. A most helpful and friendly neighbor, 62-year-old Patrick McNally, came to his rescue with his Ford pickup. After a bit of heaving and hoeing, McNally freed the grocery getter from the mud. Once both vehicles were back on solid ground, McNally laid down on the road to unhook the chain connecting the vehicles. As he was doing that, Histand hit the gas – running over his helpful and friendly neighbor’s face with his left front tire. Police said Histand then called 911 and drove away, only to return on a tractor 20 minutes later. Why a tractor? I have no friggin’ clue, but police believe alcohol was probably a factor. After Histand returned to the scene, he was arrested and charged with two counts of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs and “numerous summary offenses.” McNally was transported to the hospital for moderate injuries to his face and has since been released.…


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