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Stevens Point, WI – Have you ever found yourself driving down the street wishing you could just start taking pedestrians out with a blow gun? No? Ummm…me either. Paula Wolf, though, made that little dream a reality. The 41-year-old woman is accused of shooting several innocent pedestrians with blow darts last Wednesday evening. One victim stated that she was outside smoking a cigarette when a black minivan with a pipe sticking out the window pulled up. Moments later, the woman felt something hit her chest – it was a dart. She was able to jot down the license plate number of the alleged attacker’s grocery getter and report it to police. Within the next half-hour, at least three other people made similar reports. No one was seriously injured. When officers caught up with the blow-hard, they discovered she was also in possession of a slingshot and a bucket of rocks. I totally want to be this woman’s BFF….I mean, throw the book at her, fellas! When questioned, she initially told officers she had nothing to do with the alleged assaults, but later ‘fessed, stating that she did it because…wait for it…she likes to hear people say “ouch.” Tee-hee You big meanie!

Wolf admitted to shooting a 22-year-old man earlier this month and confessed to inadvertently breaking a window at a pizza joint after missing one of her targets. She also admitted to unsuccessfully breaking the windows of a Portage County squad car by shooting rocks at the car with her slingshot. Wolf has been charged with recklessly endangering safety, and though she is currently behind bars, a bond amount hasn’t been made available. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go and perfect my *ahem* blowing technique.

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  • Jury

    I gotta say, this sounds like it would be a lot of fun. Yeah, no job, just cruising all over town, and blowing people.

    As usual, great story Jaded, you made my day.

  • I know, right? Speaking for myself, though, I would at least consider dulling the darts a bit. I'm not a total meanie…

  • kittytooo

    HAHAHAHA. SHE ROCKS!!!!!!

    Reminds me of the time when I was about 22. These idiots driving around town having a blast spraying people with water guns from the backseats of their cool car. They must have thought it halarious because you could hear them all laughing their asses off, meanwhile, poor innocent people were wet and wondering what they were smoking…………
    ……….we weren't smoking a damn thing!!! People's shocked faces where our drugs. It was a blast but VERY IMMATURE!!! Ohhhh, to be young again.

    Wait…..this woman is 41? I think she is the worst person I could ever meet and become friends with……*metal note: do not befriend anyone named Wolf*

  • VelvetGlove

    LOL. My friends and I would ride around town yelling stupid/rude/nonsensical things at pedestrians just to see the surprise and befuddlement on their faces. We never hurt anyone though. We were 16 & 17 at the time.
    Hey at least this woman wasn't using a shotgun, right? But yeah–41? I would think she would have worked through those kinds of issues by now.

  • I would think she would have worked through those kinds of issues by now.

    Perhaps she's just getting started – procrastination and all….

  • kittytoo

    Geez another reason to not befriend her. I'm the queen of procrastination.

  • 3Xmommy

    LMAO! I wish we could see video of this 41 year old lady, sitting in her 'loser cruiser' , sling shooting rocks at a cop car—that would totally make my day!!!

  • melissa

    um, she's sticking the deal out the window of the van and hitting people with a blow dart??? she's a tactical genius and probably needs to be recruited by the cia for some serious work. i'm glad no one got hurt seriously….like the dart hitting the heart or an eye…you know. but come on….she's old school assasin.

  • “I totally want to be this woman’s BFF….”

    I see. Find anyone with a bucket of rocks and dart blower, and I am instantly replaced. I am crossing your name off my Xmas card list! 😛

  • Deety

    OMG. If the darts she was shooting had needles on them, I'd say throw the book at her. The idea of being stuck by a non-sterile needle by some stranger truly horrifies me!

    But if they weren't sharp enough or shot hard enough to actually break the skin, then I'm interested in going for a ride with her. 🙂

  • Jury

    Come on! You can't get an “ouch” from a dull needle can you? Or if your 10 feet away in a speeding van could you hear it if it were dull. No, it's gotta be sharp, you get my point.

  • scarey23

    man, i used to throw lit fireworks at ppl, they would jump and scream like no other, what an asshole i was 🙂

  • greenmountainboy

    I got shot by a douche with a pellet gun from a moving car, and the guy in front of them stopped, forcing the carload of douches to stop and allowing me to snatch the douchey shooter out of his jalopy and slap him around. And bust his gun.

  • AMGallagher

    Interesting hobby.

  • intensive_by_nature

    ROFLMFAO…. can i be this cool…. lol….. i started my day laughing so hard it was awesome thanks

  • defenestratethis

    She's right, it really IS fun to hear people say “ouch!”

  • Don't worry, Chickie – you'll always be at the top of my “People to call in the middle of the night to bail my ass outta jail” list.

  • me
  • aka jas

    Thank you for writting this one! Every single time I read this I roll! Yes, I have read it a couple, or more times. Good Job!

  • aka jas

    OMG! I just LOL! Thank YOU for the link!

  • MadeaBecBec

    Sung to the tune of “Beverly Hillbillies” theme:
    This here's a story 'bout a girl named Paula,
    Poor Stevens Point girl, that loved to hear ya Holla!
    Then one day she was shootin' at a victim,
    When up from the street came the PoPo,
    with his dictum, Right to remain silent, Handcuffs,
    Trip to the slammer…
    First thing ya know, Ol' Paula started 'fessin', not
    only was she good at dart blowin', but she was
    pretty good at throwin',
    rocks, that is, not the smokin' kind, or the stuff
    you grind, the glass breaking sort,
    with a slingshot, a keen eye, now bye-bye…
    Paula has a fetish, a weird one to you and me,
    her desired sport, to hear people yell Oweeee,
    Her age is forty-one and so is her IQ, obviously,
    else she'd be a hand-picked assassin for some
    some foreign country, poison darts, exploding rocks,
    flying umbrellas…..
    😉

  • Thank you, Me. And to show my appreciation, I shall name my first born after you. She isn't really going to like it, but she'll just have to shut up and get used to her new name.

  • twiztidangel

    a FP rep to you for that lmao