Elyria, Ohio- Of all the perps I’ve had the pleasure of writing about over the past year, I think Andrew Whiteman is one of the first I kind of like. Police responded to a call around 3 a.m. last Saturday of an extremely intoxicated man who was allegedly trying to break into a drug store. Upon arrival, deputies found a muddy and completely soaked Andrew Whiteman staggering around the outside of the store. Whiteman’s speech was slurred, his eyes were blood-shot and he smelled strongly of alcohol. A witness told the officers he had observed Whiteman pulling on the exterior doors and kicking the steel door frames of the business. When the witness told Whiteman the business was closed, Whiteman said his goal was to get some money. After questioning Whiteman, the deputies decided to place him under arrest for attempted breaking and entering. What the foolish mortals didn’t know was that the man they were taking into custody was actually a Vampire.
That’s correct. While en route to jail, Whiteman informed the officers that they were in big trouble because he was actually a 100-year old Vampire and he could smell their blood from the back seat of the patrol car. Whiteman warned the officers of his desire to suck their blood and even threatened to kill one of the deputies and the deputy’s family, including his children. When they reached the jail, the mouthy fruit-bat continued to be a pain in the neck and had to be forcibly removed from the vehicle. He was taken into the booking area where he continued to be irate and unruly throughout the entire booking process. Whiteman also threatened a female adviser by telling her that he wanted to eat her kidney.
Because of his behavior, the Count had to be placed in a four-point restraint chair, also known as The Devil’s chair. In addition to attempted breaking and entering, Whiteman, 21, 100, was charged with intimidation and disorderly conduct while being voluntarily intoxicated. Whiteman, who lives in Michigan, recently came to the area to apply for Fall classes at Oberlin College. Deputies said when Whiteman finally sobered up, he was apologetic and embarrassed about his behavior which just goes to prove that Vampires can be nice, even after they get a bit mouthy. ![]()


























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