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David Neil’s Fiance Got Sh*t-Faced

April 19, 2010 at 7:11 am by  

Fargo, ND – I’m the kind of chickie who chooses her battles wisely – there is a time and place for a heated lovers quarrel and one must take that into consideration before going off at the mouth. For instance, if me and my significant other were in a tiff, I wouldn’t start screaming obscenities and knockin’ his bedroom skills while he was in the garage playing around with the circular saw. And he would be wise to keep his argumentative, penny pinchin’ mouth shut while I’m in the kitchen with the poky stabby things. And now, thanks to David Neal, I have crossed off yet another area of the home in which battling is not wise – the bathroom. In the middle of an argument over money, David’s fiancé cornered him in the shitter while he was taking a dump. NOT an ideal time or place for conversation, or anything else for that matter. Fed up with the arguing, David allegedly reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped his hand around some freshly squeezed poo and proceeded to wipe said poo across the woman’s face. Personally, I’d almost rather be stabbed. When the woman’s son attempted to call 911 to report the assault, David reportedly grabbed the phone to prevent the kid from finishing the call. When all was said and done, David, 38, was arrested on suspicion of interfering with a 911 call, a felony. And for the shit-smearing, an assault charge is possible. A bond amount isn’t available. Something tells me that no matter how many times that woman scrubs her face, it will never feel clean again.

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  • Boringusername

    Nothing says “I disagree” like poo in the face.

  • mommy0f5

    LMAO! This totally made my morning.

  • FlamingFox

    Well, that was a shitty thing to do. (couldn't help myself :P)

  • Eracsurfer

    I would like to formally request that we create a “Groan” button just for this post! LMAO!

    FF, I'm just pissed that you beat me to the punch.

  • FlamingFox

    LOL! I would have told him to pack his shit and leave. XD

  • Eracsurfer

    Damn you! I'm gonna get into trouble for laughing!

    It's kinda hard to convince people that a spreadsheet is funny.

  • FlamingFox

    And you thought you were having a shitty day…

  • OnceSilent

    Bwahahahaha!! OMFG, I would have rather been stabbed too. LOL!

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    I'll bet she never looks at brown eyeshadow the same way again.

    And he looks older than 38–I would have pegged him around 50 at the youngest.

  • Jaded

    Is it just me, or does he look like Harrison Ford with a bad dye job?

  • Eracsurfer

    Knock this crap off!

    (That's what she said!)

  • OnceSilent

    Hahaha….yes..yes he does!

  • FlamingFox

    Okay. I will. BUT he will never be able to act like his shit doesn't stink again!

  • FlamingFox

    Or a mud mask…

  • wishfulsinful

    I wonder if the wedding's still on??

  • Wildheart

    >Personally, I’d almost rather be stabbed.

    I would absolutely rather be stabbed.

  • Smiley

    Hopefully she's done taking his shit

  • FlamingFox

    Who knows. She followed the guy into a bathroom just to argue with him. She obviously believed he was someone who gave a shit.

  • Smiley

    Right?? Then she just found out shit happens…..
    OMG I can't stop!!!

  • defenestratethis

    When it comes to domestic violence, Ive always heard that men kill in the bedroom, and women kill in the kitchen, but hell we all do the same thing in the bathroom.She shoulda realized that the shit might hit more than the fan when she walked in there…

  • Surrealian

    Holy crap! *no pun intended* This made me laugh so hard I was crying. So sick and funny. Yeah, I'd rather be stabbed, too.

  • cplkevindheglar

    Laugh My Tiny Butt Off

  • tlc

    I would love to hear that 911 call! How did the operator not just lose it?

  • Stumbler

    I've heard of getting shit-faced, but this is ridiculous!

  • kathybird

    I just came in here 1 month later to say that he looks kind of like Bruce Willis…..

  • sedation

    girl traps guy on john
    the argument is fiscal
    poo smeared on girl's face

  • shyloh

    I am all up for the stabbing too. OHMYGOD, I believe I would of stabbed him if he did that shit to me. Some parents children right? UGH!!!! Sometimes reading articles like this I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I do know after this post I will be washing my hands..