Michael Kamau Wanted To Snuggle

March 19, 2010 at 10:02 am by Jaded  

Pittsburgh, PA - Frank Fontana was laying snug in his bed early Wednesday morning when he felt someone crawl in next to him. Thinking it was his girlfriend, he called out her name. Imagine his surprise when a deep male voice answered, “No, it’s not.” If that doesn’t wake your ass from a sound sleep, I don’t know what would. Frank said he jumped out of bed so hard he broke the damn floor and left the room in search of a weapon. He returned with a baseball bat and demanded to know who the strange man was. “Who are you?” he asked. “What are you doing here?” The whole time, the stranger laid there begging Frank not to take a swing. If I were Frank, I’da swung first and questioned later, but I’m not real big on patience. When the police arrived, the stranger, identified as 33-year-old Michael Kamau, told them he was cold and was just looking for a place to warm up. Police said that though he smelled of alcohol and had bloodshot eyes, he wasn’t intoxicated to the point that he was unaware of what was going on. Kamau, who had broken in through two separate doors to get to Frank’s bed, was booked on charges of criminal trespass and criminal mischief. And Frank? He has this to say: “I wish I had a gun because this is Mount Washington, and I don’t pay for people to wake up in my bed.”

6 Comments

• 

• Tweet