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Michael Kamau Wanted To Snuggle

March 19, 2010 at 10:02 am by  

Pittsburgh, PA - Frank Fontana was laying snug in his bed early Wednesday morning when he felt someone crawl in next to him. Thinking it was his girlfriend, he called out her name. Imagine his surprise when a deep male voice answered, “No, it’s not.” If that doesn’t wake your ass from a sound sleep, I don’t know what would. Frank said he jumped out of bed so hard he broke the damn floor and left the room in search of a weapon. He returned with a baseball bat and demanded to know who the strange man was. “Who are you?” he asked. “What are you doing here?” The whole time, the stranger laid there begging Frank not to take a swing. If I were Frank, I’da swung first and questioned later, but I’m not real big on patience. When the police arrived, the stranger, identified as 33-year-old Michael Kamau, told them he was cold and was just looking for a place to warm up. Police said that though he smelled of alcohol and had bloodshot eyes, he wasn’t intoxicated to the point that he was unaware of what was going on. Kamau, who had broken in through two separate doors to get to Frank’s bed, was booked on charges of criminal trespass and criminal mischief. And Frank? He has this to say: “I wish I had a gun because this is Mount Washington, and I don’t pay for people to wake up in my bed.”

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  • petepuma

    Poor guy…the cold one, I mean.

  • cplkevindheglar

    I guess it is common place to have people just slip into your bed in Mount Washington PA?????? If you do that in NC we shoot first and ask questions later thats why no one does it. I would not be weilding a baseball bat and certainly would not have to go a looksie for a weapon. Both sound to me like their a 6 cylinder running on about 4 and a half.

    Some People in life need allot of guidance.

  • defenestratethis

    “….I dont pay for people to wake up in my bed.” Hey, whats wrong with that?

  • pghpa

    Mount Washington is very expensive (a nice place to live, though). That's what he meant. I guess only people who have been to Pittsburgh would get this.

  • Peter4Peace

    The big dude from the green mile will be happy to snuggle with this dumass…in the hokey pokey.

  • Kwumey

    aww poor guy. where is the love today? damn cant even get a hug to ease the chill..:(
    *wanders over to peter4peace to get a hug…*