Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.

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Lancaster, California – Last Saturday, a man was trying to enjoy a film at the Cinemark 22 but was having problems doing so because a woman behind him was using her cell phone. Reports do not say in what manner the man requested she turn off her phone, but regardless, her boyfriend became quite upset. He and another man attacked the person who requested the woman shut the fuck up, one of them stabbing the requester in the neck with a meat thermometer. He was taken to the hospital and is expected to recover, two other people who tried to intervene were also injured so this sounds like it was quite the spectacle. As crazy as this story is, my only question is why anyone would be carrying a meat thermometer around.  I’m guessing the attacker is a cook or mechanic. Sheriff’s officials would like some help apprehending these people. The attackers were black males, one wearing an orange hat with an orange jacket or jersey, the other dressed in a black hooded sweatshirt. Call the Lancaster sheriff’s station at (661) 948-8466 if you have any info.

I still remember last Mother’s Day when I was at the theater watching a film and some lady kept talking on her cell phone. I turned to her and said, “Look you stupid bitch, I paid good money to see this movie and I do not particularly like hearing you jabbing on the phone all the way through it!” My mom was pretty upset with me talking to her that way, but hey it was “Star Trek” for God’s sake.

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  • backlash

    I'm sure they'll have plenty of leads called in with the description of black male with a black hooded sweatshirt. At least they weren't vague.

  • billy

    Maybe the fact that they were black….and lound in a movie theater. That never happens…that should help.

  • TamsIsTrouble

    Scratching my head this one.Lets see I am a woman and I've never run across a meat themomether in my purse nor found a need to even think about it. Personally mine stays in the kitchen gadget drawer. Ummm..So I'm going to assume they had on jackets, I can't see one of these in a front pocket. But on the other hand Morbid, you handled it the same exact way I would of. Minus the fact I would of said my peace then had their asses thrown out by management :) KUDOS to Morbid!

  • Jury

    Yes, but the key to their capture will be the meat thermometer. How many have a black hooded sweatshirt AND carry a meat thermometer?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    As crazy as this story is, my only question is why anyone would be carrying a meat thermometer around.

    What the hell are you talking about? I never leave home without an odd assortment of kitchen utensils. You just never know when you're gonna need to whisk someone…

  • sheevaa

    I would also be pissed if someone was ruining my Star Trek for me:P
    However, I'm too wussy to tell them to stfu. Note to self – drag Morbid along for the next movie night = possible front page coverage…woot!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Note to sheevaa – Morbid will eat all of your popcorn and hog up the arm rest.

  • Undeniable Truth

    They were just checking to see if he was done. Ba-dum-ching.

  • Dakota Valkyrie

    Maybe he had it in his pocket so he knew where it was. I can never find mine when I want it. Never thought of other uses for it.

  • Scavengerofhumansorrow

    I heard spatula attacks were up 23%. I now carry a wooden spoon in my boot for defense, legal length of course.

  • EveryVillainIsLemons

    Maybe one of the attackers was wearing an apron under his hoodie?

  • deadskinmask213

    I wonder if they were watching The Crazies.

  • tenente

    Reminds me of that video of the guy in line at the pizza joint who got pummeled by that ex con for “cutting” his wife in line and getting pissed when she called him a honkey or cracker, whichever of those silly racial slurs that are socially acceptable. Gee I wonder if it'll come out that these winners have previous records?

  • riotboots

    betcha anything it was a black dude stabbin someone. can't keep their anger under control. WPWW!

  • http://thefoxtales.wordpress.com/ FlamingFox

    Well, the story did state the suspects are black males, but you go ahead with your little White Power World Wide thingy and see how much of a welcome you get here. FYI a lot of white males seem to have trouble controlling their anger, too. History has proved that. It had something to do with hangings I believe. ;)

  • HotReadingMama

    Remember when trolls used to be witty? Sigh.

  • http://thefoxtales.wordpress.com/ FlamingFox

    Ah! The good ole days. And a few of them were even intelligent enough to read the stories before commenting. Sigh.

  • deadskinmask213

    Far as I can tell they aren't the only race that goes around stabbing people and having a hard time keeping their anger in check. I see alot of whites doing alot more horriffic things on this site there guy.

  • deadskinmask213

    White Power World Wide what a joke in this day and age get a life.

  • lisaznola

    I never even thought of the meat thermometer as a weapon…….
    “whisk someone” LOL!

    Wow, ya' learn something new everyday!

  • uniquemommy1984

    My boyfriend took me to go see The Crazies (not worth paying the money to see in the theater but not a bad movie) and these guys just kept talking really loud and laughing inappropriately. Wasn't bad enough to get one of us to turn around and tell the guys to STFU but still that is pretty rude. If I say anything to the person I'm with I usually just whisper in their ear, not yell at the top of my lungs. I hope they catch the bastards who did this and the people who got hurt fully recovery from their injuries.

  • bef

    billy? Is that you? Your earlier troll not get the response you wanted, so you decided to kick it up a notch, eh?

  • Wildheart

    Sounds like a typical date with my boyfriend.

  • backlash

    I believe that is actually Wigger Power World Wide. It's a new movement.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    No names yet, but a few more details have been released. The movie was Shutter Island. The two men and the talky bitch with the phone left the theater after the initial complaint – the two men came back minutes later with the meat thermometer. It has also been reported that two others were harmed after coming to the victim's aid.

    http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-meat-th

  • Dakota Valkyrie

    There's a mugshot in the linked article if you really want to see who was traipsing around with a meat checker in his pants.

    The L.A. County Sheriff's Department has arrested a suspect in the case of a moviegoer who was attacked with a meat thermometer during a screening of “Shutter Island” at a Lancaster theater last month.
    [...]

    Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore said the suspect, Landry Boullard, 39, was taken into custody at 2 p.m. Wednesday at a home in the 800 block of East Avenue H-6 in Lancaster.

    Detectives got an anonymous tip that led them to the home where the suspect was staying, Whitmore said.

    Boullard was booked on suspicion of attempted murder and is being held on $1-million bail. Boullard is studying to be an air conditioning and refrigeration specialist, Whitmore said.

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2010/03/m

  • Peter4Peace

    I guess they wanted to see if his goose was cooked. Idiots.