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Serial Animal Semen Smearer On The Loose In The UK

February 4, 2010 at 8:38 am by  

Greater Manchester - Detectives in Bury are searching for a man accused of smearing animal semen on teen-age girls in the area. Yes, you read that correctly. Animal semen. At least six separate smearing incidents have been reported – the first one in November, and the last one just last week. The first victim, a 14-year-old girl, reported that on November 13th, she was followed down a passageway by a strange man who asked her the time while standing uncomfortably close to her. When she arrived home, she noticed a sticky substance on the back of her tights – it was later determined that the substance was animal semen. The animal/s from which the semen was milked hasn’t been reported. The next incident was on December 7th. In that case, a 15-year-old girl reported feeling liquid on the back of her tights after a man approached her from behind. That same day, another 15-year-old girl was smeared. WTF? Does dude carry the shit around in a gallon jug, or what? And how in the hell did he amass such a large amount in the first place? That’s what I’d like to know…kinda. Ok, not really.

On December 17th, a 14-year-old girl was with her mother when a man bumped into her and smeared something on her ass. The next day, two 13-year-old girls were followed. On January 25th, a man approached two girls, ages 15 and 16, and asked for the time. When he departed, one of the girls noticed a liquid dripping from her skirt. *gag* In each incident the offender was described as a white man, 25-35 years old, carrying a bag. On a couple of occasions, he was wearing a hat, possibly with ear-flaps. “None of the victims was physically harmed in any way,” said Detective Inspector Lynne Vernon. “But this is still a disgusting act and the person responsible must be caught. I’d ask people to take a good look at this image and if you know anything about this man, please contact us.” Detective Vernon also mentioned that the creepy fuck “isn’t necessarily connected to all of the incidents,” but they would like to talk to him anyway. Recognize him?

Serial Animal Semen Smearer On The Loose In The UK

Alleged semen smearer

Many thanks to my Twittering tipster, Pippsta.

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12 Comments

    Comments


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    • VelvetGlove

      Oh, barf. Just gag-barf-vomit.
      Is there a name for this type of sexual disorder?

    • http://www.facebook.com/pinkigreen Holly Green

      eww eww eww eww ewwwwwwwwww! *barf*

    • Smiley

      OMG…..that's all I got…..

    • Wildheart

      I nearly pissed myself laughing when I noticed the ad in the “Related Products You Should Buy Now” section to the right of this story:

      “Ball Refill Extreme Semen Volumizer for Men”

      Ball Refill?? lmao

    • Truth

      Regardless with their assessment that they were not physically harmed there's at least a bit of mentally scarring going on with a dash of – grotz.

      The good news is that the UK is one of the most surveyllanced/watched countries in the world. You
      couldnt so much as fart over there without getting filmed. They'll nail this idiot and probably pelt him with hagis.

    • defenestratethis

      What a weirdo. Did he get confused on the farm and milk the wrong gender of livestock? Even if that were the case..he'd only of gotten about 30 cc's…

    • malq

      probably but I wouldn't hope for an Olympic sport out of it.
      Choad throwing is well, wtf.

    • VeronicaMarie

      As anyone who's seen 24 Hour Party People knows, Manchester is a pretty fucked-up place. But at least now they can claim another famous resident : Morrissey, Ian Curtis, Tony Wilson — and now Animal Semen-Smearing Dude!

    • dannicali22

      'Manchester is a pretty fucked-up place' on what basis?ha

      Yes it's proper mental… =/. I mean what are you comparing manchester to? Id say its pretty Tame compared to most places on this site!? i dont think i've witnessed many children going round shooting eachother or family members its a fab place.

      Dont let a shit film like 24 hour party people taint your conclussions on Manchester its awesome.
      You'd like it and if not at least you can meet the Semen Smearer and if your lucky watch a man who sings and swings daffodils round his head.. ohhhh scary stuff. The only reason you've heard about the semen smearer is because its the only interesting thing thats happened here. That and the story of how a women met her hubby on the 182 50 years ago… THATS FUCKING MENTAL!!……..0_0

    • Abroad

      We-e-e-ell, there was that poor kid who got shot crossing a pub car park on his way home from footbal practice last year, – or was it is the year before?

      That said, considering Manchester is the second-largest conurbation in the UK, I don't think it is particularly “fucked-up”. Parts of it are not so nice, but………

    • dannicali22

      For 1 one the lad you mean is Rhys Jones…He was shot by a pathetic specimen who thought he was clever, and that was in Liverpool not Manchester.
      2 there is a few areas as anywhere in manchester which are considered 'rough' due to the chav culture which a few council areas have succumbed to, but in comparison to other UK cities Liverpool London Glasgow etc, it is safe. I have no quams walking round alone in Manchester without fear of getting animal semen wiped on me this is a rare occurance thats why its so well documented.

      The only thing i would say about Manchester is there is a high level of football violence due to it being home to Manchester United and City, thats about it. Ive never witnessed anything fucked up really apart from the odd drunk vomiting and bitch fights in nightclubs.

      It also one of the most popular student areas in Britain the nightlife is excellent and has seen some of the best bands in the world formed here. So all in all.. id say its an alright place :)

    • VeronicaMarie

      Um, yeah…it was a joke. I was making light of the fact that this is seemingly the worst thing to come out of Manchester in a while. I'd think the comparison of semen smearer guy to Morrissey and Ian Curtis would have given me away.

      And 24 Hour Party People is a “shit film?” I thought it was pretty damn awesome myself. How on earth would that particular film taint anyone's view of Manchester? That movie is a fucking LOVE LETTER to Manchester. Jesus. The only negative thing in the whole film was the effect of drug gangs and gun runners on the Hacienda's bottom line, and most cities have those. Tony Wilson was the biggest Manchester booster out there.

      I have no qualms with Manchester. It has managed to produce some of the best bands and musicians of the last century. Even if it also produced Myra Hindley (that's right, I know Ian Brady wasn't actually FROM Manchester).