FORE!

December 14, 2009 by Jaded  

Greensboro, N.C. – Way back, when I was merely half-jaded, my little brother and I were fucking around with a golf club we found lying on the side of the road. We invited a few of the neighborhood kids over and an impromptu game of ‘Hit the rock with a golf club’ was on. Because I was an idiot, I called dibs on being catcher. My brother was at bat. After two balls, and two strikes, my brother started to get a little pissy. (It could have been because I told him he swung like a girl. Who knows)? When the next pitch was thrown, he swung. Hard. Everything went into slow-motion – I knew I was about to get it. I could clearly hear birds chirping, children playing, paint drying – I was marveling at the beauty of the sunshine sparkling off the silver club when it hit. Right upside my head. The two kids who stuck around after I hit the dirt said I was only out for about three minutes. To this day, I can still hear the thud and feel the pain that club caused to my noggin. Which is why this story gave me a friggin’ migraine and an unpleasant flashback. Rodella Quick is gracing the pages of the Dreamin’ Demon because she allegedly used an 8-iron to beat her 14-year-old son.

Authorities say that Rodella was yelling at one son for going somewhere without permission when the 14-year-old  started to mouth off. So, bitch picked up a golf club and started swinging, hitting the boy on his right arm and back. The teen suffered a bruised forearm and cuts to his right elbow and right hand. Police say a hospital nurse said the arm could be fractured. Rodella, 35, was charged with assault with a deadly weapon, intentional child abuse inflicting serious physical injury, and an unrelated misdemeanor charge, writing a simple worthless check.

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