Keizer, OR – On November 9th, a woman called Keizer police to report that she had been shot at by an older man driving a Jeep Cherokee. The woman stated that she was driving down the road with her baby on board, talking on her cell phone, when the man in the Jeep sped up next to her and started screaming. In a matter of seconds, the crotchety old coot had whipped out a gun. The woman thought for sure she was gonna die when he pulled that trigger – but, instead of a bullet whizzing through the window and into her skull, a BB harmlessly pinged the window and bounced off. Fast forward to NovemberNovember reviews 16 – Keizer police received a similar call about a man threatening a woman on a cell phone. This time, though, before whippin’ out his BB gun, he whipped out a sign that said, “Get off the phone, stupid!” (Raise your hand if you’ve been tempted to do the same damn thing). According to the second female caller, the man waved his finger at her then reached for his gun, waving it at her as she continued talking on the phone. Unlike the first woman, she got dude’s license plate number.

Police were able to track the license plate to 61-year-old Carl Wynkoops. A search of Wynkoops’ vehicle revealed a black ski mask, a BB gun, and the paper sign. His wife has an explanation for the ski mask: “He’s a survivalist,” she said. In Wynkoops’ apartment, police found an old grenade and what was thought to be a pipe bomb. Though Wynkoops’ wife said the pipe bomb was merely a home-made firecracker, the bomb squad was called out to detonate it. Carl Wynkoops was arrested and is being held on two counts of reckless endangering, menacing, and unlawful use of a weapon. He isn’t being charged for being in possession of a pipe bomb.

The victims aren’t the only ones relieved to hear of Wynkoops’ arrest. Neighbor Michael Kelly had this to say about the old fart: “His response to something like people not picking up dog poo and then rubbing it on their door – I think he has people problems – not cell phone problems.” Heh.

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