Anchorage, AK – Ugh. I don’t even know where to start with this one. We have a couple of fucktards – Jonathan Miller and Stephen Dilley II, a 5-year-old boy left in their care, and a “redneck flamethrower.” Taking that into consideration, you just know this won’t end well. Last Friday, the boy’s mother left him in the care of Miller and Dilley for the weekend. Miller is the woman’s current boyfriend – Dilley is the woman’s ex-boyfriend and father to one of her five children – and though the woman has a restraining order against him, Dilley lives in a trailer on the property and helps her with her brood. According to the arrest affidavit, Miller told officers that he’s been trying to “toughen the boy up” and the best way to do that is to “scare the shit out of them when they don’t see it coming.” Last Friday evening, Dilley grabbed a can of starter fluid and an lighter and asked Miller, “You know what would be funny?” Miller must have been thinking along the same lines because he responded, “You know how much trouble I could get in for this?” Then he called for the child. When the little boy opened the door, Miller let him have it. 

Miller told investigators the fireball aimed at the child’s head only lasted about half a second – long enough for the shit-for-brain buffoons to realize the child’s head was on fire. The asshats put the flames out with their hands and tended to the child’s burns. Dilley told investigators he didn’t think the flame would reach that far. See, that’s your problem, Dilley, you didn’t think – that would require at least a couple of brain cells. Did they seek medical help? Of course not – they’re fucking retards. Well, mom returned home late SundaySunday reviews night. After noticing that her child had been lit up and was in pain, certainly she would seek medical attention, right? Wrong. She did, however, seek medical attention for herself after overdosing on bi-polar meds that same night. The boy’s injuries were left untreated until he showed up for school Monday morning. The child, who suffered second-degree burns to the left side of his face, nose, eyelid, and ear, told investigators he had not been in trouble and described the incident as a “practical joke gone wrong.” Yeah, all 5-year-olds can grasp the whole concept of a joke gone wrong. The child was treated at the emergency room and released to relatives.

Miller, 29, and Dilley, 32, both denied having been drunk at the time of the incident, in fact, it was, according to them, a “very sober day.” The jackasses are each charged with two counts of third-degree assault and a count of reckless endangerment. Assholes…

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