Columbia, South Carolina - When Daniel Webb, 33, was released from the hospital in MarchMarch reviews after being treated for a knee injury, he weighed over 500-pounds. When he returned home, he sat in a recliner in the mobile home he shared with his girlfriend. He sat there for 8-months until he died of a heart attack – weighing 800-pounds. He simply could not get out of the chair. Ever. He slept in the chair, he shit in the chair, he would preach the word of God online from the chair. When his mother made the call to 911 that her son was in a lot of pain, firefighters had to cut him out of the chair. They also had to cut a hole in the wall of the mobile home to get him out of it. He died a few hours later, his body covered with sores and a “very bad odor.” His girlfriend blames all of this on the fact that they did not have health insurance and no one would come out to see Webb.

You know, the thing I find most surprising in this story is that Daniel Webb was able to find a woman out there. Why can’t I find a woman willing to clean the shit off of my chair? Huh? I mean goddamn, it isn’t going to clean itself, ya’ know?