Providence, Rhode Island – A fight broke out between player’s of a high school girls’ soccer match on SundaySunday reviews night. During the final moments of Tolman vs. Woonsocket, a game that the Woonsocket Villa Novans had a 5-0 lead, a cat fight broke out between Kristen Cahill and Maria Lopera. There is punches thrown and hair pulling. It’s all very arousing. Then later on, a fight broke out in the stands between the fans. I had no clue that women’s soccer was this exciting. Between this and the ponytail-yanking actions of University of New Mexico’s Elizabeth Ann Lambert I have come to a conclusion about all of this violence. And that is I know where I am looking for my next ex-girlfriend.

And for those of you living under a rock, her is Lambert’s 15 minutes of fame:

Jesus Christ I get turned on every time I see that yank. And to be fair, the first hit came after she was elbowed, and the pony tail yanking came after the player grabbed her shorts. To suspend her indefinitely while that football player actively tried to blind someone gets a slap on the hand…well it makes no sense. There are two separate groups regarding Lambert’s actions and can be seen via FacebookFacebook. If you feel Lambert was in the right, join GO ELIZABETH LAMBERT! If you feel she is nothing more than one hot bully, then feel free to join BAN ELIZABETH LAMBERT OF NEW MEXICO FROM COLLEGE SOCCER. I’m in the former group.