Kenmore, Washington – Ever read a headline that just makes you read the article attached to it even though you just know it isn’t a real good idea? Yeah, this story was mine. I had just enjoyed some Dragon Age and was eating a ham sandwich when I cam across an article about a woman whose insides were falling out of her through her vagina. Normally a story like that is one where I read it, gag, tell my co-workers about it and then try to scrub it out of my brain. But in this case the woman, 39-year-old Allison Henry, is being very candid about her medical condition and goes into full detail of what happened to her in hopes that she can help other women. The link to the full article is after the jump, but fellas, it includes things like this: “I was referred to a pelvic floor specialist. She took a look and said, ‘Holy crap — your vagina is falling out of your body, and it’s dragging your bladder and your rectum along with it!” So consider yourself warned. But to the ladies, I learned that 30 percent of you are gross and should really go see a goddamn doctor immediately.
Ladies, I know some of you have some ugly ass vaginas – I’ve been face-to-face with my fair share. It’s ok and not your fault that some of you look like you are giving birth to an Arby’s roast beef sandwich. Some guys do not mind. I’m not one of those guys. It’s not a sex deal breaker, mind you – just don’t expect meat curtains to ever adorn my face. Besides, now with labia reduction surgery, you can get that nasty looking shit fixed. But that’s a purely cosmetic matter. Having your guts playing peek-a-boo when you take a leak is not.
Allison Henry (pictured right) states, “One day in the bathroom, I felt something kind of strange when I was wiping. There wasn’t really a hole there — it felt kind of flat. I thought it was a little weird, but I had a 19-month-old and a newborn to care for, so I brushed it off. I wasn’t bleeding, I wasn’t in pain, so I didn’t address it.” Um, what?! While I understand it may be a bit embarrassing, but if your friggin’ asshole is falling out of your vagina – go to the doctor immediately! You can make Little Johnny’s lunch for school when you get back.
But it seems that the condition is a lot more prevalent than I ever wanted to know. “It’s widely estimated that 30 percent of women or more suffer some degree of prolapse in their lifetime,” says Dr. Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz, a gynecologist in Los Angeles. “Women will suffer for years and not tell anyone,” “They’d rather tell their doctor they have a sexually transmitted disease than say that something is hanging out of them.” Uh, why? Could someone explain? I would think that on the scale of medical emergencies, going to the doctor for some STD you picked up at a bachlorette party trails pretty far behind PISSING YOUR ASSHOLE OUT.