Carroll, IA – I’d like to give props to Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller for their resourcefulness and ability to think out of the box. I’d like to, but, I can’t. I will, however, give them props for making me laugh so hard I almost tinkled. It’s not every day we get to post a story here at the Dreamin’ Demon that exhibits such a high level of laughable fucktardary. Last Friday evening, police got a call about an attempted break-in. The caller described the suspects as two males with painted faces, both were wearing black hoodies, and it looked like both were armed. The caller reported that the two had just driven off in a large white car. Responding officers spotted a vehicle matching the description of the alleged suspect’s car just a couple of blocks away from the apartment and pulled it over. Just wait till you get a load of their awesome disguises! 

Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller

OMFG. Permanent marker. Really? Was that the best you guys could do? It’s almost HalloweenHalloween reviews for fuck sake, every damn store in the country is just overflowing with masks, costumes, and make-up and you guys Sharpie the shit outta your face? Not only that, but you did a really shitty job of it, too! My grandson colors better than that! These two rank right up there with palm-frond guy and the thong bandits when it comes to dumb disguises. Luckily, neither of the idiots were carrying a weapon.

Matthew McNelly, 23, was charged with second-degree attempted burglary and DUI. Joey Miller is looking at a charge of second-degree attempted burglary as well. Bond was set at $7,500 cash – both posted bond on Monday and were released.

Source | McNelly’s Myspace | Miller’s Myspace (old)

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