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Opelousas, LA – Psssst! Come here. CloserCloser reviews. I got a secret for ya. You wanna know what it takes to get me all hot and bothered? Forget diamonds and pearls or cars and money. Nah – to get me going you gotta get my ass down to the local courthouse. Oh yeah, baby. The courthouse does it for me every time. The disgruntled employees, the long lines, the malingering odors, that sexy fluorescent lighting – it’s hot. I can barely contain myself just thinking about the sexiness that is a visit to the courthouse. The only thing that could possibly be more enjoyable would be a trip to Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve. Frank Lahay must feel the same way, for he was busted, on camera, jerkin’ his gherkin at the St. Landry Parish Courthouse. He was mighty thorough about it, too.

Authorities say Lahay was standing right there in a public hallway making nut butter in full view of other courthouse patrons for over an hour before a secretary finally caught on and alerted security. An hour? I gotta wonder – was he carrying lube or did he spit? Because I would think that after an hour of pud pounding, the pud would be feeling a little chafed? Anyway, Old Spanky McWhackanut was kind enough to cover the little guy up with his baggy shirt when people walked by. The 28-year-old wanker was arrested and charged with lewdness and public indecency.

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