DeLand, FL – Before you blow your top and end up gracing the front page of the Dreamin’ Demon, remember, there are many effective ways of dealing with stress without resorting to violence. Of course, I neither know nor practice any of them, but I have heard of ways others deal with their tension. Some people shop ’til it hurts. Others drink themselves into oblivion – forgetting their own name and the reason for their angst. Some toke it up and pig out on Doritos until their mood improves. And Morbid, well, he masturbates. A. Lot. (Ask him about his carpal tunnel sometime). When Darren Daniels discovered his wife may have *gasp* smoked his last cigarette, he went postal and killed his pet rat. What the hell the rat had to do with anything is beyond me…I guess there wasn’t a toddler lurking anywhere in the vicinity.

Darren Daniels

In the midst of a tempter tantrum that would make any two-year-old child proud, Daniels grabbed the pet rat from it’s aquarium, smashed it’s little rat head on the edge of the tank, and proceeded to strangle it to death. Strangled? Really? You gotta be a real he-man to choke a rat to death. His wife, freaked out by the manly show of homicidal violence and perhaps fearing she may be next, ran from the house. She was hanging out on the porch when Darren burst outside screaming that he couldn’t bring the rat back to life. He grabbed his wife by the chest and wouldn’t let go. The woman was able to escape the rat-killer’s clutches after he began to repeatedly bang his own head into the wall. She found safety under a bush somewhere near their apartment complex. She waited there, in her leafy hidey-hole, for about an hour.

It was a neighbor who called 911 after he/she discovered a hole in the wall near the doorway.  When deputies rolled onto the scene, Darren rolled out. They eventually caught up with him, and with the help of some stop sticks, were able to apprehend the fucking nutjob. At the couple’s apartment, officers found two other large white rats, an aquarium with snakes and lizards, and a large python curled up in a ball on the bedroom floor – the rest of the animals were unharmed.

Darren Daniels, 22, is looking at charges of battery and fleeing. It is not known whether he will face animal cruelty charges. He has already made $3,000 bail and was released from his cage. He could make bail but couldn’t buy another pack of friggin’ smokes?!? His mamma had this to say about her adorable spawn: “He don’t have a mental problem. He lacks self control and needs to grow up and act like an adult.” Yeah. Something like that…

Source | Idiot’s Myspace

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