John Forehand Had No Forethought When Asking His Daughter For Sex

Filed under: Crime, Incest 

Lititz, Pennsylvania FacebookFacebook, the social networking site, started as a spin-off of Harvard University’s Facemash. The creator, a little buzzed and a little bummed about being dumped by some chick, set out to divert his attention from her to something a bit more entertaining. What started as a prank has grown into the most widely used social site on the internet. The only requirements for signing up are to be at least 13 years old and have a valid email address. Being a little hesitant in jumping into the Facebook pool, I finally gave in when a friend urged me to sign up. It’s a quick and relatively painless way to keep up with family and friends. I can recall reading the status of one of my contacts that said: “My father has joined Facebook!” That’s sweet, but it’s not always that thrilling to have your parents create an account and “friend” you. Take it from a certain 13-year-old. Her father found her on Facebook after having no contact with her for 10 years and then found himself faced with a couple of charges, one being criminal attempted incest.

“Not many other fathers and daughters are this brave, so not many of them are so lucky to experience all these pleasures.” Oh yes, that was one of the messages this 13-year-old received from her father as he was propositioning her for sex. *gag* The fucker suggested a meeting place complete with explaining sex acts in graphic detail. With his daughter. I mean seriously, what the fuck? And outside of being absolutely disgusting, what. an. idiot. He put that shit in writing. Yes, “Bad Daddy” (a name he called himself) is not only a 39-year-old freak, he’s got a severe case of dumb-ass on top.

He got busted because his daughter seemed to be as repulsed by all this as I was reading the initial story and told her mother. I guess mommy didn’t find much humor in it either and she contacted the Ephrata Borough Police Department. And the police department didn’t find anything amusing about the case and contacted the state child predator unit. With both departments working in conjunction with each other, they decided to make Bad Daddy think he was going to be able to get his freak on with his little girl and staked out the “meeting place”. Busted.

When agents searched his car they seized a camera, a tripod, and a box of condoms. Wonder what kind they were. What does one use on their daughter? Well anyway, at his home they seized a digital camera, a camcorder, computers, and data-storage devices. I really don’t want to know if he was jerking off to old home movies of his daughter’s first step or shit like that.

John Foreskin Forehead Forehand is being held on a $400,000 bond and has been charged one count of unlawful contact with a minor and one count of criminal attempted incest. The unlawful contact charge is a felony that carries up to a 20 year sentence and a $25,000 fine. The attempted incest charge is a second-degree felony that carries a maximum 10-year sentence. Being labeled a daughter fucker lasts a lifetime. I hope they emboss that onto his grave marker.

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