I Couldn’t Make This Stuff Up If I Tried…
October 7, 2009 by Jaded
Ocala, FL - I love Floriduh. You couldn’t pay me to live there, but I love it nonetheless. During my time here at the Dreamin’ Demon, Florida has provided me with many entertaining, sometimes gag-inducing stories. And this one, well, that would fall into the gag-inducing category. Please allow me to introduce 41-year-old Venus Lewis. Cute, ain’t she? Ms. Lewis enjoys football, tag, alcohol, and younger men. Much younger men. While attending a teen football game at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center last SaturdaySaturday reviews
, Venus allegedly initiated a rousing game of tag with a couple of teen boys. She laid out the rules: “If I catch ya, I’m gonna have sex with ya.” Simple enough. And I’m sure those lads ran their little legs right off!! (Personally, if Venus was playing that game with me, you can guaran-fucking-tee I would have set a new world land speed record). Weary from the chase, Venus took a breather and chose that little break in the fun and games to drop trou’ and plug her flow hole with a tampon. The stop-leak was in place, but Venus was still all worked up – she needed to relieve some tension, so, she allegedly leaned back on a picnic table and began masturbating. If the teens weren’t already traumatized after having watched the plug insertion, that had to have sent them over the edge. According to police reports, the boys were under the age of 16, and at some point, Venus attempted to grab the underdeveloped package of another young boy. Police believe that alcohol may have played a factor. No. Shit. Venus Lewis was booked on charges of lewd and lascivious exhibition and battery. She is being held on $25,000 bond. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the store for a couple gallons of brainBrain Age reviews
bleach.
Related articles by Zemanta
- Robert Payne Has A Repulsive Fascination (dreamindemon.com)
- Tawnya Burrows Prefers To Use Sex Toys During Playtime (dreamindemon.com)
- Samantha Cook Beat A Hasty Retreat (dreamindemon.com)
7:36 am on October 7th, 2009
Ew.
7:48 am on October 7th, 2009
I sure HOPE alcohol was involved!
Gah…my brain.
8:13 am on October 7th, 2009
Kotex is HAWT!
8:56 am on October 7th, 2009
I had to look her up
8:57 am on October 7th, 2009
Ok..that did not work, was trying to post an image link
8:59 am on October 7th, 2009
Ummm….EWWWW!!!
9:00 am on October 7th, 2009
PinkiGreen, what’s up? Decide to take a break from FB and do some slumming?
10:46 am on October 7th, 2009
I now realize why whenever I am faced with the task of shopping at major department stores in either Ocala or Gainsville, I go to Gainsville.
I’m thanking Dawg I hit the head shop on my last shopping trip too, as I try to smoke this woman’s fugly mug out of my memory banks, whilst sterilizing my eyeballs in the autoclave.
11:00 am on October 7th, 2009
I was coherent enough this morning to remember my password.
Nothing this exciting EVER happens at my son’s f-ball games. Darn it.
11:48 am on October 7th, 2009
Well then do something about it! Next time you go to a game, get loaded on Wild Turkey (Jaded’s swears by this stuff – she pours it over her Cheerios in the morning), take a box of Kotex, and get on the front page, dammit! Make some memories!
12:16 pm on October 7th, 2009
Ditto!!
12:45 pm on October 7th, 2009
I really tried to like Wild Turkey because of Jack Nicholson in Easy Rider, but it makes me gag. Though not as bad as Cutty Sark bum scotch. *Shudder* No kind or amount of liquor would make looking at this woman palatable, though.
1:50 pm on October 7th, 2009
Oh GOD!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
2:38 pm on October 7th, 2009
This story makes me wish I was a tampon.
10:17 pm on October 7th, 2009
I seem to have experienced a moment of clarity:
The horror! The horror!
1:22 am on October 8th, 2009
Must have been Post Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. I feel ya, Venus.
1:42 am on October 8th, 2009
Pfffft. Whatever. I eat Corn Flakes.
7:20 am on October 8th, 2009
what no video from somebodies cell ?
7:54 am on October 8th, 2009
If anyone pulled some shit like that at one of our games, they’d find themselves tackled by some linebacker-like Okie moms in matching t-shirts before they even got the wrapper off…those bitches scare me.
I’ll just sit quietly, drink my vodka and Red Bull outta my Bubba Keg, and watch my son run the wrong way every play.
1:55 pm on October 8th, 2009
This is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard of! UGH!
10:35 pm on October 8th, 2009
I heard about this. Figured she had to have been high out of her mind!
6:12 pm on October 10th, 2009
This brings back memories.
I was 17 or so when this happened to me. She was a drunk lesbian hooker on crutches in the park taking a break showing us how to do the nasty. Looking back on it, it was just as weird as this story, only no tampon that I know of. BTW I have never really told that story, who they hell would believe it?
This chick had to have been doing crack.
2:23 am on October 12th, 2009
Thats fucked up, man.
3:55 am on October 14th, 2009
I’d say shes a worthy contender for the ‘Gross Out Contest’ of the year…
Think you got something worth saying? Type it out. If you don't wanna look lame, get rid of that default avatar and go get you a gravatar! Tell 'em Morbid sent ya'. Lastly, as far as we are concerned, posting a comment means that you have read our Disclaimer.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Search Dreamin’ Demon
Login
The Dreamin Demon Wants You
Check ‘Em Out!
Recent Comments
Recent Media Reviews
Twitter
Your Ad Here
Facebook Crap
Drink The Kool-Aid
Archives
Kickass Sites
Copyright © 2009 · Except where otherwise noted, content on this site is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License · DreaminDemon Blood Red theme by Lee Malta.
Get a Blog · WordPress · Log in