Subscribe to The Dreamin’ DemonNews FeedSubscribe to The Dreamin’ DemonComments

« « Oh No You Didn’t! | Brandy Wellman Is A Real Bitch Of A Mother » »

Walking Stick +1 James Bondsteel 0

September 25, 2009 by Morbid  

Filed under: Assault, Kidnapping, Rape, Sexual Assault 

LARIMER COUNTY – A little over a week ago, two sisters-in-law were out on a hike along Signal Mountain Trail near the Comanche Peak Wilderness Area. As they were walking, A man wearing gray camouflage clothing and a face mask jumped out of the woods attacked them at knifepoint. “An assailant surprised them – jumped out from behind some trees and put a knife to one of the victim’s throats,” Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden said at a news conference on Monday. “It was obvious from the statements that he made as well as from his actions that he intended on committing a sexual assault.” One of the women used her walking stick strike her friend’s attacker. When he turned on her, the other woman attacked him. The man then ran off. Roadblocks were set up and police began searching for the assailant reporting they had a person of interest that night. That person has now been arrested and identified as 38-year-old James Jud Bondsteel of Loveland.

Image and video hosting by TinyPicHe is facing charges of second-degree kidnapping, criminal attempt to commit a sexual assault, first-degree assault and menacing with a deadly weapon. Kudos to the police department for acting quickly and apprehending this idiot before he tries this dumb shit again and actually succeeds. And congratulations to the ladies as well. It may not always work in every situation, but fighting back just seems to be the best thing to do when a fat dude in a ski mask is trying to rape you in the woods. I wonder if walking sticks will see a sales increase over this?

And fellas, there are much better ways to meet women on these hiking trails. You need to do what I do. I simply put on my Jr. High gym shorts sans underwear, headband and knee-high socks and head out to the local park. I jog in place until a female comes around and I start doing leg exercises like lunges or squats. It only takes a couple times for my testicles to kiss the dirt path before the chick is running like hell – probably to go get a pen to write down her number, or go get her friends so we can hang out – I am not sure, as they always seem to get lost on the way back to me.

Source

Related articles by Zemanta
Walking Stick +1 James Bondsteel 0

Tags: , , , , , ,


Comments

18 Comments on "Walking Stick +1 James Bondsteel 0" make up the 115,835 total comments on Dreamin' Demon.

  1. backlash
    8:37 am on September 25th, 2009

    That’s just like James Bond: taking women by force. Oh wait, it’s Bondsteel…

  2. Uvgottabkiddin
    8:54 am on September 25th, 2009

    And fellas, there are much better ways to meet women on these hiking trails. You need to do what I do. I simply put on my Jr. High gym shorts sans underwear, headband and knee-high socks and head out to the local park. I jog in place until a female comes around and I start doing leg exercises like lunges or squats. It only takes a couple times for my testicles to kiss the dirt path before the chick is running like hell – probably to go get a pen to write down her number, or go get her friends so we can hang out – I am not sure, as they always seem to get lost on the way back to me.

    OMG! I laughed out loud!!!

  3. mommacrazy30
    9:24 am on September 25th, 2009

    kick ass! (for the chick with a stick, who did a beat down on the dick)!

  4. CassieMomma
    9:25 am on September 25th, 2009

    Good for them. I’m sure they were scared as hell, but they managed to fight him off and got away. Good Ending, well except for the end of the story…..Not sure about the visual :) Kidding!

  5. Jus Shaking My Head
    9:31 am on September 25th, 2009

    God Morbid,

    This is the hardest I’ve laughed for days. Priceless!

  6. biteme
    10:54 am on September 25th, 2009

    Don’t know Morbid, deferent system same success ratio
    LOL

  7. backlash
    11:44 am on September 25th, 2009

    …and why does he look like he’s making a fart sound with the side of his mouth in his picture?

  8. runnergirl
    12:01 pm on September 25th, 2009

    Morbid, let me know where you run…I am so changing route!!

  9. Morbid
    12:47 pm on September 25th, 2009

    …and why does he look like he’s making a fart sound with the side of his mouth in his picture?

    I am thinking that it is the result of one well-placed walking stick.

    Morbid, let me know where you run…I am so changing route!!

    Hey, baby. No need to change your route to find me, I’ll just come to you. You’ll recognize me from the attire, heavy-breathing and The Escape Club’s Wild Wild West blaring from the boom box on my shoulder.

  10. Wildheart
    4:41 pm on September 25th, 2009

    I simply put on my Jr. High gym shorts sans underwear, headband and knee-high socks and head out to the local park. I jog in place until a female comes around and I start doing leg exercises like lunges or squats. It only takes a couple times for my testicles to kiss the dirt path

    Hey, baby. No need to change your route to find me, I’ll just come to you. You’ll recognize me from the attire, heavy-breathing and The Escape Club’s Wild Wild West blaring from the boom box on my shoulder.

    And yet again I have to ask myself, why oh WHY do I read this site while eating lunch??

  11. Deety
    8:58 pm on September 25th, 2009

    I simply put on my Jr. High gym shorts sans underwear, headband and knee-high socks and head out to the local park.

    Morbid, you’re so dreamy! *sigh*

  12. defenestratethis
    12:06 am on September 26th, 2009

    LOL i love comin’ here

  13. Stella
    9:26 pm on September 26th, 2009

    The knee socks definitely complete the outfit. I really don’t understand why you don’t have any takers. Guess the ladies on those trails just don’t understand your awesomeness.

    (Sometimes I also wonder what makes me return to DD; now I know the answer.)

  14. backlash
    12:44 am on September 27th, 2009

    Seriously, with that name, why would this guy need to resort to rape. He should be getting laid left and right. Of course he looks half retarded, but that name should be able to pull him through. What a waste of excellent poor white trash child naming…

  15. Uvgottabkiddin
    1:07 am on September 27th, 2009

    I’ve been trying to figure out why this pimp looks familiar, he looks like the bad guy in “annie” I feel better now.

  16. runnergirl
    9:41 am on September 28th, 2009

    Hey, baby. No need to change your route to find me, I’ll just come to you. You’ll recognize me from the attire, heavy-breathing and The Escape Club’s Wild Wild West blaring from the boom box on my shoulder.

    I’m giddy just thinking about it. Maybe I should slow down so I don’t miss you!

  17. mopar
    8:05 pm on September 30th, 2009

    Morbid you are hilarious.

  18. Morbid
    8:08 pm on September 30th, 2009

    Tell Jaded and Rotten Apple that. They just keep calling me an asshole and laughing at me when shit goes wrong. They are very evil, btw.

Think you got something worth saying? Type it out. If you don't wanna look lame, get rid of that default avatar and go get you a gravatar! Tell 'em Morbid sent ya'. Lastly, as far as we are concerned, posting a comment means that you have read our Disclaimer.

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Improve the web with Nofollow Reciprocity.