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Holly, Michigan There’s nothing more heartwarming than seeing a young mother spending time bonding with her child. Lacy Bird’s kid is 17-months-old which means the fun times are just starting for them. The incredible curiosity of a child that age, just becoming really aware of the things around them, fine tuning their coordination. And since they’re approaching the terrible twos, it’s sometimes the best idea to take a break from the confines of the house and take the baby outside for a while. Kind of like Lacey did with her child. Except it was kind of early in the morning for that sort of play and the baby wasn’t having much fun being bounced off the ground.

Police were dispatched just after 6 in the morning for a disturbance and allegedly found Lacy Bird and her 17-month-old sitting on the ground outside with what looked like baby toys scattered. As she tried to collect them, she informed the officers that she had been arguing with her boyfriend. But what the fine men and women in blue noticed the most were her blood-shot eyes and slurred speech. Suggesting she pick up her child and walk toward the patrol car, Lacey decided she had a better idea. She ran. With her baby. And fell.

Now, Lacey Bird obviously doesn’t eat like a bird. She looks like she never quite lost all that baby weight but boy she tried to run. Yelling warnings at the prospect of harming her tot, the officer could only watch as the drunken bitch lost her footing on the wet grass and fell. Right on top of her spawn. But, knowing it was no fun falling on the grass, she attempted her swift getaway again and this time she let her baby break her hard ass fall on the cement. You know, she couldn’t be scraping up her lovely face…nor her figure.

When back-up arrived, the crazy falling bitch was apprehended and the child was taken to the hospital with possible head injuries. Lacey was taken to the poky. And when she decides to run away from the third-degree child abuse charge, she’ll be doing so alone as her safety net has now been placed with a foster family while CPS investigates her wild and crazy lifestyle a bit more.

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