Louellyn Lambros’ Apple Fell Pretty Close To The Tree

Filed under: Crime, Reckless Endangerment, Shooting, Theft 

SCITUATE, Mass – A woman brings a 16-year-old boy to the South Shore Hospital emergency room. He is suffering from a gunshot to the leg. Hospital officials contact the Weymouth police and the woman, 55-year-old Louellyn Lambros, tells them that the 16-year-old and her son were at her home when they heard noises in the backyard. When they all went to investigate, an intruder shot the teen in the leg through an open window. Police begin their investigation, and quickly realize that the story was bullshit. The true story, it turns out, just doesn’t get any dumber. It involves a stolen gun, a botched game of Russian Roulette, and a mother as retarded as her son.

After police quickly realize that they are being lied to, pieces to the puzzle begin falling into place, starting with the report of a stolen gun from a friend of her son, 18-year-old William Rafferty. Rafferty and the 16-year-old had spent the night at a mutual friend whose father was out of town. While she slept, the two teens robbed the house safe, taking a 1985 Smith & Wesson .38-caliber snub-nose revolver.

Once back at Rafferty’s home, the two idiots begin playing Russian Roulette with Rafferty first placing the gun to his head an pulling the trigger. The story could have (maybe should have) ended there, but it didn’t. The 16-year-old then takes the handgun and what could possibly be a rare moment of one of the synapses in his brain firing off, decides not to put the gun to his head, but rather to his knee. Needless to say, he was quickly in a world of hurt. That is when the intruder story was hastily concocted by all involved, and while Lambros drove the teen to the emergency room, her son disposed of the gun in Wompatuck State Park (it was later recovered).

Rafferty was charged with illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition, receiving stolen property over $250, and being an accessory before and after the fact of a felony, reckless endangerment of a child, and filing a false police report. His mother was charged with being an accessory after the fact of a felony, filing a false police report, reckless endangerment of a child, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The 16-year-old who shot himself may face similar charges after being treated for a shattered femur and knee.

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Btw, no offense to the mother as it could just be an extremely shitty picture. But who saw that and immediately thought of an older Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall?

Raise your hand!

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