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Garry Ulland Thought He Was Whacking Andrew, It was Mike

August 26, 2009 by thinkgoat  

Filed under: Beating, Crime, Murder 

Garry Ulland Thought He Was Whacking Andrew, It was Mike

Panama City Beach, Florida Why is it, when rednecks do something they seem to do it well? Is there any sense of normalcy in a redneck’s life or are they completely incapable of doing anything that doesn’t seem extreme? If a normal person doesn’t like something they see, generally there are several options explored to avoid those sights…looking away…changing the channel. A quintessential redneck may only see one way, blow it up. And while looking away from sights is a hell of a lot easier than listening away from sounds, there are still options that normal people exercise, turning down the television, asking one to keep it down, calling the police, etc. But for Sara Ulland, the only way to deal with the thumping screaming sounds of her husband beating the life out of her naked bed mate, was to cover her head with a pillow.

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Garry Ulland

Demonites, we have here a fascinating glimpse into a story that even made me take pause. A story filled with the most choice quotes describing and outlining the brutal murder of a man who just wanted a little horizontal motion with Ms. Sara Ulland. All would have been fine had her husband not returned home a bit early and caught this naked man in bed with his wife. And to set the scene a bit more, ole Garry Ulland thought he was bashing Andrew’s head in, (a man he had caught in the sheets before) when in fact it was Mike. How the hell Garry made that mistake is beyond Sara cause she recalls the lights being on at that time. “Mike who?” she was asked. Well, earlier that night her friend just introduced him as Mike, but it turned out she did know Mike’s 12 year-old son. Small world, isn’t it?

‘Just Mike’ should be remembered as a pretty hard headed dude. Stubborn as an ox, horny as a Bonobo (dwarf chimp), and drunk as hell, he kept trying to gain entry into Ulland’s house while allegedly being beaten repeatedly by Garry with a 2 x 4 and the handle of a gardening tool. There is some speculation that due to his intoxication and having his bell rung pretty damn well, he was simply confused about his surroundings, perhaps thinking it was his home he was trying to enter. But I imagine the last few whacks probably gave him the idea he’d be best suited to find someplace else to sleep it off…for eternity. That place was Mother Earth…laying naked as the day he was born in the grass.

“Somebody gave him a spankin’, I know that” states the neighbor who’s daughter spotted him. “Sure enough, there he lay. Looked to me like he was dead, but he wasn’t.” I sure as shit bet he did since half his head was caved in and good ole Sara was a bitching and complaining about the blood all over the inside of her house. That’s probably why the battle was taken on outside. Didn’t want Sara having to clean any more than she was gonna have to. And what a really accepting couple Garry and Sara were. After “Just Mike” had his brains bashed in, they thought he had left and they crawled between the same tempting sheets and snoozed the rest of the night away.

Sweet seductive Sara, according to the news reports, spent SundaySunday reviewsSunday reviews regretting the night before. Remorse. Such a downer. “I do love my husband but he didn’t have to do what he did. There’s blood all over my house.” And while interviewed, cause she obviously didn’t have the good sense to shut the fuck up about the incident and wanted to save some of her good name, she spoke of Mike’s 12 year-old son, “I’m not going to go over there and apologize now, he doesn’t want to hear from me, and I don’t blame him. I’m not a bad person.” No, probably not…just a complete fucking horny redneck idiot.

Garry Ulland (55) is facing first degree murder charges for the beating death of Michael Eberhard (40). Florida law would allow Ulland to kill a home invader if it meant he were protecting himself or his family. State Attorney Glenn Hess stated, “Ulland picks up a 2-by-4 or whatever’s handy and he starts to wail on him. There comes a point where defense of home is no longer in the forefront of your mind. These things have to be tempered by reason.” SA Hess also stated he didn’t think the charge of first degree murder would stick but perhaps second degree murder would, for it applied to those who kill with a “depraved mind”.  ”If the guy is down and he keeps beating on him until his head pops like a watermelon, then that’s a depraved mind”. Yep, no shit.

Garry Ulland is being held without bond at the Bay County Jail. In the meantime, Sara is free to do what she does best, entertaining the men folk there in Panama City…that’s if they don’t mind “Just Mike’s” blood.

Source1 |  Source2

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Garry Ulland Thought He Was Whacking Andrew, It was Mike

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Comments

13 Comments on "Garry Ulland Thought He Was Whacking Andrew, It was Mike" make up the 115,836 total comments on Dreamin' Demon.

  1. rdb40k
    5:33 am on August 26th, 2009

    “I don’t know what’s going to happen next. I really don’t,” Sara Ulland said outside her home.

    As she turned to go back inside, she said, “If you do talk to the boy, tell him I’m sorry.”

    That’s from “source 1″

    DUH, your husband is going to see some serious jail time. And you can go back to getting friendly with the men in your neighborhood. Life in your little world will go on.

  2. Dakota Valkyrie
    8:27 am on August 26th, 2009

    It’s not even his first dance!

    Before Ulland married his wife Sara, and long before the couple even moved into their Panama City Beach home, he was explaining another death to police: his first wife’s.

    Ulland, 55, charged Sunday with killing a Panama City Beach man apparently caught naked in his bed, will have to contend with that history — a conviction on involuntary manslaughter charges — when he goes to trial this year.

    He was convicted in May 1995 for the death of then-wife Anna Ulland and sentenced to four years and four months in prison.

    The couple had been married seven months and lived in Derby, Kan., when she died. Her death came after a Dec. 29, 1994, argument, when Ulland shoved her to the ground and caused her to hit her head, according to the nearby newspaper The Wichita Eagle.

    Read the full article

  3. thinkgoat
    9:10 am on August 26th, 2009

    It’s not even his first dance!

    Wonder if Andrew is gonna go back for seconds or is he now counting his lucky stars?

  4. CassieMomma
    10:26 am on August 26th, 2009

    Wonder if Andrew is gonna go back for seconds or is he now counting his lucky stars?

    I bet on seconds :)

    What a bunch of fucked up morons these people are!

  5. Kimberix
    12:44 pm on August 26th, 2009

    I’m interested in seeing what the dumb bitch looks like….

  6. qtrluna
    4:48 pm on August 26th, 2009

    This beats Jerry Springer.

  7. NoWhining
    5:20 pm on August 26th, 2009

    Kimberix
    12:44 pm on August 26th, 2009
    I’m interested in seeing what the dumb bitch looks like….

    Me, too! The only thing I’ve found so far is this link. You can hear her dumb ass voice and see the lower half of her body and her beautifully (ahem) decorated interior. “That man was in our house.” uhhhhhh…duuuhhhhh, he was invited there by YOU, whore!

    http://www.newsherald.com/news/panama-76878-anger-prosecutor.html

  8. Harley_Tech
    11:00 am on August 27th, 2009

    R

  9. MadeaBecBec
    2:41 am on August 28th, 2009

    It gets even better!

    On Tuesday night, she told the deputy Warner, 51, was staying with her to keep her safe.
    At the convenience store — apparently where he and Sara Ulland go to use a pay phone — the angry neighbor Batchelor shouted at Warner across the parking lot, “You’ll get what’s coming to you,” Warner told the deputy. And since Gary Ulland’s arrest, his wife said, people have been driving by her house calling her names as they pass.

    http://www.newsherald.com/news/beach-76924-city-coming.html

    I’m gonna say we will be seeing Sara Ullands name again, soon, for something different, could be prostitution, crack possession or drunk driving, maybe even welfare fraud…Wankers!

  10. thebooblady
    9:09 am on August 28th, 2009

    Sorry if these have already been posted.

    Captors brother speaks out: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1209692/Jaycee-Lee-Dugard-Captors-brother-says-fruitcake-troubled.html

    The best pictures of the house and yard that I have seen here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1209488/Phillip-Garrido-man-held-Jaycee-Lee-Dugard-18-years-fathered-children-makes-sick-boasts.html

  11. thebooblady
    9:19 am on August 28th, 2009

    oops wrong story..sorry!

  12. Muertaluna
    12:15 pm on September 2nd, 2009

    This fucking hooker fucked someone on Sunday- her husband killed him and went to jail and she was in bed with Andrew again by Wednesday!

    PANAMA CITY BEACH — Her one-time lover is dead, her husband is in jail on charges he killed him, and Sara Ulland is afraid in her own home.

    So on Wednesday, the 43-year-old woman was back with another man, the one who got her into trouble before: Andrew Warner.

    Some of her neighbors apparently do not like it.

    The married Ulland, who was in bed with naked 40-year-old neighbor Michael Eberhard early Sunday when her husband Gary came home to catch them, was at a Front Beach Road convenience store Tuesday night when a sheriff’s deputy responded to a 911 call from Warner.

    http://www.newsherald.com/news/beach-76924-city-coming.html

  13. Muertaluna
    12:19 pm on September 2nd, 2009

    OMG the bitch moved Andrew in the next fucking day!

    On Sunday, Gary Ulland was charged with beating a man to death after he allegedly caught the man with his wife, Sara Ulland. On Wednesday Sara Ulland and another lover, Andrew Martin Werner, called the police to report they were being harassed by neighbors because Werner had moved into the home, authorities said.

    Then on Thursday, Sara Ulland locked Werner out of the house and called the police for help, according to investigators. Werner was arrested and pleaded guilty Friday to disorderly intoxication, was ordered to pay a $417 fine and was released Friday afternoon, authorities reported.

    Werner, 51, earlier this week identified as Andrew “Warner,” gave officials an address of 609 Allen Ave. in Panama City, which is the Panama City Rescue Mission. However, he had been staying with 43-year-old Sara Ulland at her Dorothy Avenue residence ever since her husband’s arrest Sunday, the report said.

    http://www.newsherald.com/news/small-76978-intoxication-beach.html?FORM=ZZNR3

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