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Danny Brawner Likes It In The Rear

August 14, 2009 by Jaded  

Filed under: Crime, Featured, Sexual Misconduct 

Albuquerque, NM – We have posted many stories about the varied and sometimes bizarre things men will stick, or attempt to stick, their dick in, on, or around. AnimalsAnimals reviewsAnimals reviews – alive and dead – picnic tables, beastly teachers, etc. But I can’t recall ever having written a story about a dude humpin’ his car. I’ve known men in my life who came pretty damn close to that kind of relationship with their vehicle, but they never stepped across that line. Danny Brawner did – and in full view of an off-duty police officer and his 10-year-old son. Damn – not exactly the audience you want when you got your pants around your ankles tryin’ to get a little trunk action.

Danny Brawner

Danny Brawner

On July 28, the off-duty officer and his young son were driving through the parking lot at Smith’s Food and Drug store when they happened across a rather odd site – Danny Brawner, pants down, bare assed and hanging free, simulating sex with the trunk of his car. His arms were waving around in the air and he was shouting. What he was shouting hasn’t been reported. (In my twisted little imagination, he’s screaming, “Who’s ‘yer daddy now – you dirty little slut! Daddy liiiiike!” Or something like that. The scene in my mind goes on and on, but, I’ll spare you. Damn my vivid imagination). Instead of pointing and laughing until he pissed his pants, the off-duty officer called in a couple of on-duty officers. When they arrived, they found the alleged trunk bugger passed out next to that schmexy beast of a car. And, ain’t that just like a man? Wham, bam, yawn, snore. Authorities believe alcohol may have played a factor in the lewdness. Danny Brawner, 46, was indicted on two felony counts of aggravated indecent exposure. It’s classified a felony because a couple of kids witnessed the bizarre coupling. Turns out, Danny has prior convictions of armed robbery, drug and alcohol arrests, and a sex offense. Wonder what make and model she was?

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Danny Brawner Likes It In The Rear

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Comments

15 Comments on "Danny Brawner Likes It In The Rear" make up the 115,829 total comments on Dreamin' Demon.

  1. CassieMomma
    10:57 am on August 14th, 2009

    not exactly the audience you want when you got your pants around your ankles tryin’ to get a little trunk action

    Ohhh that made me lol, thanks Jaded, I needed that today! Trunk action….lol!

    What is is lately, trying to be the weirdest of weird for all these freaks?

  2. redsaid
    11:28 am on August 14th, 2009

    And who said dog is man’s best friend?!? A car doesn’t bitch, or turn you down when you want a little, and obviously doesn’t mind doing it public!

  3. Jaded
    11:33 am on August 14th, 2009

    I know, right? Give the bitch a little gas, pat her on the white-walls, caress her hood, and you’re good to go!

  4. haunted33
    11:49 am on August 14th, 2009

    Oh tis story is too funny to missed!

  5. redsaid
    12:11 pm on August 14th, 2009

    Plus she doesn’t get jealous if you “drive” another car. Stop at Sonic for a cheap dinner and that gives a new meaning to “eating out” LOL!

  6. Jaded
    12:33 pm on August 14th, 2009

    …and with sooooo many orifices and stuff. The possibilities are endless!

  7. Coyote
    12:51 pm on August 14th, 2009

    Great Jaded, you got me laughing my ass off this morning. Now all day long I’m gonna be playing that Black Eyed Peas song through my head “What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?”

  8. redsaid
    12:56 pm on August 14th, 2009

    Touché I could say something about gettin’ head under the hood, or rentin’ a car for a change of pace, but I’ll try not to ramble!

  9. Jezebel
    2:02 pm on August 14th, 2009

    I am almost certain the voices in his head told him to do it.

  10. A1Biatch
    3:14 pm on August 14th, 2009

    OMG!!! This story cracked me up. Sitting at my desk while working in the call center wasn’t the best place to read it….had a hard time answering the phone while laughing sooooo hard. I am never going to hear that song again without thinking of this story. LOL Thank you

  11. katyk
    3:27 pm on August 14th, 2009

    having lived in Albuquerque for 7 years:

    1) This does not shock me
    B) I know EXACTLY which Smith’s parking lot this took place. The one I never went to alone and has armed security guards perched at the front door 24-7.

    …ps. I just looked at the KOB link after I typed this and yep, I was right. The Ghetto Smiths as it’s known. I love Albuquerque!

  12. Uvgottabkiddin
    6:12 pm on August 14th, 2009

    OMG this write up had me laughing out loud!!!!!

    I will never say “fucking car” again without giggling!

    Great Job Jaded

  13. Abroad
    6:15 am on August 15th, 2009

    Is it my eyes giving out or does this car-”jacking” drunk have some similarity to Bruce Willis?

  14. Xavier21579
    3:09 pm on August 15th, 2009

    I was thinking more of a bald George Clooney w/ facial hair.

  15. lostlilgirl
    4:59 pm on August 16th, 2009

    “schmexy beast of a car”

    OMFG!!! That is toooooooooo funny.

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