You Can’t Always Judge A Book By It’s Cover

Filed under: Crime, Solicitation 

Greenville, SC – Demonites, please allow me to introduce 71-year-old Sieglinda Falk Bass. Just look at her – does she remind you of anyone in your life, present or past? Your grandmother, perhaps? The adorable little old lady down the street who spends her days knitting afghans, baking cookies, and weeding her garden? Your kindergarten teacher? What could this harmless looking woman possibly have done to earn herself a spot here on the Dreamin’ Demon of all places? To put it bluntly, she wanted to have her husband taken care of. No, not put in a home for the elderly and infirm taken care of – beaten and broken taken care of. And, if he happened to keel over during the ass whoopin’, no big deal! Bass suspected her husband was cheating on her. Seeking revenge, she went as far as contacting a Voodoo Witch Doctor to put a spell on him. The witch doctor took too damn long conjurin’ up a spell, so Bass hired a hit man to put a hurtin’ on her husband. The hit man later changed his mind. This is one determined senior citizen though, folks. She wasn’t finished searching.

She made one more offer. She relayed her plan to a complete stranger – a man who had inquired about buying a ‘Vette she was selling. While the two were discussing the car, she told the man that she was looking for someone to beat up her husband. She was willing to shell out $400-$500, depending on the severity of his injuries. She informed the man of her previous attempts and failures. The man, who really just wanted to look at her car, set up a meeting where the two could properly discuss her husband’s painful future. Then, he went to the cops with the story. Bass and the man met at a restaurant a couple days later. It was there that Bass detailed what she wanted done to her cheatin’ husband – she wanted his arms, legs, and genitals broken – while making the whole thing look like a robbery. She gave the man photos of her husband, mapped out her husband’s route to work, and was even kind enough to point out an area that would be convenient for the attack. She mentioned that she didn’t even care if he was killed. Little did she know, every single word of the conversation was recorded. D’oh! Sieglinda Falk Bass has been charged with solicitation to commit a felony. She has already been released on $10,000 bond.

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