Portland, OR – Break-ups, most of the time, suck ass. Though sometimes a break-up could be considered cause for celebration, there is usually one ‘injured’ party in the situation – the ass who is the most ass hurt in the whole thing. The ass in this story is Cory Vaughn. Wednesday evening, Cory allegedly got a little rough with his girlfriend’s puppy. When his girlfriend stepped up to protect her critter, Cory turned his anger on her. The girlfriend told authorities that Cory slapped her, pushed her down, and tried to choke her. Cory eventually fled the apartment, and the girlfriend, knowing that Cory had a key to her home and may return to finish the job, left to spend the night with a friend. A short time later, a neighbor called to inform her that her apartment was on fire. Right before she called 911, she scrolled through her text messages and soon discovered who the culprit was and the lengths he would go to to hurt her.
“He he he fire” said one text. “Smoky in here. … Damn, I’m destructive. … Really shouldn’t leave someone who hates YOU alone with stuff. … Don’t worry it’s just stuff. … It’s wet, burned and ripped, but it’s just stuff. … Yeah, fire trucks and police.” Hehhh…talk about incriminating yourself. After she read those messages, she called Cory. He continued his butt hurty rant over the phone. “Hope nothing important is in your bag ’cause your table is on fire. It’s pretty,” he allegedly told her. “The Bible you’ve been using? It’s a little singed.” When fire crews showed up to put out the flames, they found three separate piles of the woman’s belongings that had been torched – one pile on the coffee table, one pile on the kitchen table, and a pile in the bedroom. Luckily, the fire didn’t spread throughout the entire apartment or to her neighbor’s apartments.
Cory, the little genius, was arrested when he was seen driving past the complex – to survey the damage, no doubt. At first, he denied even having a girlfriend – under questioning, he admitted to being in the apartment, but said the fire was already burning when he got there. Good thing the retard is a texting freak with the inability to keep his pie hole closed. Cory Vaughn, 35, is being held on two counts of first-degree arson, second-degree criminal mischief, strangulation and harassment. Bail has been set at $512,500. Dumbass.