Elizabethton, TN – Megan Cullop was planning on doing some redecorating – so, on Monday afternoon, she loaded up her kid and headed for the nearest WalMart. After filling her shopping cart with the must-haves, she made a beeline for the door – completely bypassing the cash registers. Alert security personnel caught up with Megan at the door, took away her shopping cart, more than likely lectured her on the evils of shoplifting, and let her go. Now, if Megan had even half a brain cell bumping around in her vacant little noggin, she would have realized how lucky she was that the cops weren’t called in and chalked it up as a lesson learned. But, seeing as how she is gracing the pages of the Dreamin’ Demon, you know that wasn’t the case.

Megan Cullop

Megan is a moron. She returned to that very same WalMart the very next day, again with her 12-year-old son in tow, and proceeded to fill up another cart. Her shopping list consisted of bath towels and hand towels, several shower curtains, bath mats and rugs, candles, posters and poster frames, pillows, and a bottle of Kaopectate. She tried a different approach when she exited the store this time – she handed control of the shopping cart to her son, told him to meet her at the car, and she left the store. Brilliant plan, Megan! I am in awe of your diabolical planning skills. What could possibly go wrong? Well, her kid got busted as soon as he walked out of the store. And what did mom of the year do? She drove off – leaving behind her Kaopectate and her offspring. Nice. She didn’t get too far – she was pulled over about 5 minutes later. After that, a shoplifting charge was the least of her problems.

Her license came back as revoked because of a DUI in 2006, so she was placed under arrest and charged with driving on a revoked license. During an inventory of the vehicle before it was towed to the impound lot, officers discovered a couple of pill bottles in Megan’s purse – she had some Alprazolam, which were prescribed to her, 15 Xanax and 9 Lortab pills, for which there was no prescription. So, toss on a charge of simple possession, too! She’sShe reviews also looking at charges of theft of merchandise over $500, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and child neglect.

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