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Jeffersonville, IN – When you are a creepy old janitor, chances are, your co-workers are not gonna like it when you put the moves on them.  Let’s face it.  You are old, you are creepy, and you are a janitor.  When one of the clerks at the Clark County courthouse filed a complaint and reported that Stephen Thompson, a 2nd shift employee, was calling her “sweetheart” and hugging her inappropriately, he was asked to stop or he would be fired.  Instead of taking the rejection like a man and leaving the woman alone, he retaliated.  How?  By pissing on her chair.

A few weeks ago, the building director recieved a complaint about a substance turning up on a clerk’s chair.  The first couple of times, someone was sent to clean it up, and life went on.  After the fourth time, he decided to start an investigation.  One chair belonging to one clerk.  Why? A hidden camera was installed above the clerk’s desk and when it was reported again for the fifth time that there was something on the clerk’s chair, they reviewed the video.  There, clear as day, was Thompson, pulling out his pecker, urinating on the chair and trying to wipe it clean with a paper towel.

When Thompson showed up for work that afternoon, he was greeted with handcuffs and hauled to the pokey.

I am dying to hear what his defense to this is gonna be.  I’m pretty sure inanimate objects aren’t really into golden showers, though I’m sure one of you sick fucks will point me to a fetish website out there for that.  Maybe he will claim that the chair had the same effect on him that the sound of running water has on some of us, but who is gonna buy that?  Personally, I think he should just fess up to being a bitter old dickhead who got butthurt and couldn’t take it.

Since the clerk never sat on the chair and never touched urine, Thompson was charge with two counts of attempted battery by bodily waste.  However, because the clerk is a court employee, it is considered a felony and he can receive a sentence of six months to three years per count.  I only have one question for Mr. Thompson: Was it worth it asshole?

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