Houston, TX – Ahhh, foreplay…it’s great, ain’t it? It’s that block of time during the first commercial that you devote to each other before movin’ on to the horizontal bop during the second. The touching, the kissing, the nibbling, the teasing. The handcuffs, berries, and whipped cream…the role-playing, mayo, and bologna. Sparks and bullets are flying. Wait…what? Bullets? What the hell kind of foreplay is that? According to Deborah Parker, it’s called the ‘dirty cowboy.’ Now, I try to stay current with all the new fads, but this one must have escaped me somehow and I ain’t about to Google it. Whatever it is, Deborah must be pretty damn good at it…so good, her partner died before the boppin’ could commence. I guess if it’s your time to go, during foreplay would be a good time to exit, right?
According to authorities, on June 30, Deborah called 911 to report that she had just killed her long-time love, Broderick Crachian, 58. He didn’t die as most men would like to during coitus, but had taken a fatal bullet to the chest. Ooopsie! According to Deborah, she was using the gun, with the deceased’s permission, as a toy during foreplay. I guess whips and chains were just too tame for these folks. Anyway, the gun went off –now Broderick is dead.
Residents at the couple’s apartment complex stated that Deborah and Broderick had been in a very ‘heated argument’ in the street earlier that day. After the argument was over, the couple returned to their apartment and all was quiet. Oh yeah, make-up sex! A few hours later, Deborah is running around screaming that Broderick had been shot. Hmmmm, curious. According to investigators, Deborah was ‘extremely distraught’ and was co-operating fully with the investigation. Regardless, they slapped on the handcuffs. Deborah Parker, 38, is being held on charges of manslaughter and felon in possession of a handgun. Bail was set at $60,000. She boasts a criminal history with convictions for promoting prostitution, drug offenses, and misdemeanor assault.
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