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Deborah Parker Likes To Bang

July 11, 2009 at 8:10 am by  

Houston, TX – Ahhh, foreplay…it’s great, ain’t it? It’s that block of time during the first commercial that you devote to each other before movin’ on to the horizontal bop during the second. The touching, the kissing, the nibbling, the teasing. The handcuffs, berries, and whipped cream…the role-playing, mayo, and bologna. Sparks and bullets are flying. Wait…what? Bullets? What the hell kind of foreplay is that? According to Deborah Parker, it’s called the ‘dirty cowboy.’ Now, I try to stay current with all the new fads, but this one must have escaped me somehow and I ain’t about to Google it. Whatever it is, Deborah must be pretty damn good at it…so good, her partner died before the boppin’ could commence. I guess if it’s your time to go, during foreplay would be a good time to exit, right?

Deborah Parker Likes To Bang

Deborah Parker

According to authorities, on June 30, Deborah called 911 to report that she had just killed her long-time love, Broderick Crachian, 58. He didn’t die as most men would like to during coitus, but had taken a fatal bullet to the chest. Ooopsie! According to Deborah, she was using the gun, with the deceased’s permission, as a toy during foreplay. I guess whips and chains were just too tame for these folks. Anyway, the gun went off –now Broderick is dead.

Residents at the couple’s apartment complex stated that Deborah and Broderick had been in a very ‘heated argument’ in the street earlier that day. After the argument was over, the couple returned to their apartment and all was quiet. Oh yeah, make-up sex! A few hours later, Deborah is running around screaming that Broderick had been shot. Hmmmm, curious. According to investigators, Deborah was ‘extremely distraught’ and was co-operating fully with the investigation. Regardless, they slapped on the handcuffs. Deborah Parker, 38, is being held on charges of manslaughter and felon in possession of a handgun. Bail was set at $60,000. She boasts a criminal history with convictions for promoting prostitution, drug offenses, and misdemeanor assault.

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Deborah Parker Likes To Bang
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  • malq

    I was thinking a Dirty Cowboy was going to be something like a Dirty Sanchez or a Chili Dog. both acts to be found in the urban dictionary.

    thats a bummer talkabout a mood killer. I am curious if that was her defense. She is only charged with manslaughter. note to self: dirty cowboy if I shoot someone.

  • http://www.myspace.com/justdazin So Jaded

    Ok, I know what the Dirty Sanchez is, not even gonna ask what a Chili Dog is. I guess there are just some things I’m better off not knowing. o_O

  • Unamused

    LoL.. Great write up Jaded.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/ Dakota Valkyrie

    She looks like she would have to hold a gun to a guy to make him have sex with her.

    Of course, I Googled “dirty cowboy”. Only good thing that came up was a drink of 3/4oz Butterscotch Schnapps and 1/4oz Irish Cream in a shot glass. She should have just stuck with that.

  • Taz

    Ohh That was nice of Deborah to do that on S.J.’s Birthday so she could have something funny to write about. :)

    My Guess is she went all ” Broke Back mountain” on his ass, and lacking the correct anatomy or a pink Dildo, she used her mighty pistol instead.

    If David Caradine wasn’t dead from his own “Cowboy” games we could probly ask him, I am sure he would know what it means.

  • CassieMomma

    the role-playing, mayo, and bologna

    That’s nasty! Mayo and bologna……….