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Dead Hookers Make The Closet Stinky

July 9, 2009 at 4:19 am by  

Orlando, Florida – Kids have big mouths, don’t ever let ‘em in on a secret. They blab – about everything – mommy’s real age, mommy’s real hair color, dad’s penchant for hookers, mommy’s real weight, dad’s little fib about the size of the fish he caught, the dead hooker in dad’s closet, the secret ingredient in dad’s famous chili recipe, etc. Yeah…you gotta be real careful around those kiddos…loose lips and sunk ships and all that. Oh, and, if you want help dumping the body of a dead hooker, you’re better off asking one of your friends, as opposed to your 5th grader. Just ask Alan Jett. His first mistake in this story of fail was bringing the kid along to pick up a hooker…it just kinda went downhill from there.

Alan Jett

Alan Jett

Yes, sometime last month, Jett hired himself a lady of the evening, Lashanda Brand, and took her back to his apartment. While his son sat in another room, Jett sampled the hooker’s goods. After the lovin’ was done, the boy said he heard his dad and Brand arguing over money – and then, complete silence. Dad exited the room and father and son prepared to go to dinner. When the kid asked about Brand, dad told him she was asleep. But, the child had snuck a peek into the bedroom and it looked to him like the woman was dead. The next morning, Jett told his son the hooker had vacated the premises. Later that day, the boy went into his father’s room and opened the closet. There was Brand…wrapped in a blanket. He didn’t mention to his father that he had seen the dead woman in his closet. He did, however, mention it to a classmate in his summer-school class, who, in turn, must have told someone else, who alerted authorities. A day later, Jett approached his son and asked for some help to “get rid of the body” because it was starting to stink. Jett wrapped a couple more blankets around the dead woman, added a bit more tape, and father and son hauled the body out to his SUV. He wanted the body tossed into a dumpster, but the kid wasn’t quite strong enough to heft it up that far, so, the body ended up in a field. Asked to show investigators the location, the boy took them to the same place where Brand’s body was found June 22. There is no word on the manner of death.

Alan John Jett, 40, was arrested and charged with first-degree-murder. His son is staying with an aunt while DCF tries to reunite him with his mother. Damn…my kid whines when I ask him to take out the trash. I can only imagine the fit he’d throw if I asked him to throw out the dead hooker.


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  • nadine

    My sympathy to Lashanda Brand’s whole family. sorry for your loss

    For the monster above, may he rot in hell and for his son, good job informing a friend or classmate and on and on and get some help for yourself. I can only hope his reunite with his mom will be successfull.

    WOW that poor poor hooker, does not ever pay to be a hooker

  • akire

    I can’t imagine how the boy is feeling. He will need future counseling thanks to his disgusting ‘father’. What a shame.

  • Necromaniac

    Another winner from O-town. Not surprised he had to get a hooker. With a face like that, you have to pay for sex. Oh wait, he didn’t pay for it. Meh, go figure.

  • Deety

    Best. Headline. Ever.

  • BriarRose

    WOW that poor poor hooker, does not ever pay to be a hooker

    Let that be a lesson, ladies! Money up front!

  • Athena

    Best. Headline. Ever.

    I second that. :P

  • ReDDs

    That bastard has fuck up that boys mental state to the fullest degree. He is gonna need some serious therapy
    Sorry about the girl too, that bastard ruin too lives in 2 days

  • CassieMomma

    That bastard has fuck up that boys mental state to the fullest degree. He is gonna need some serious therapy
    Sorry about the girl too, that bastard ruin too lives in 2 days

    Very true!

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