Erica Paradise’s Bouncing Baby Daycare

Filed under: Aggravated Battery, Child Endangerment, Child Neglect, Crime, Myspace, babysitter 

Aiken, South Carolina Meet Erica. Her self-described MyspaceMySpace entry states her interests are kids, butterflies, and shopping. Her favorite television shows are American Idol, CSI, General Hospital, Dragon Tales (PBS), and The Big Comfy Couch (ABC Kids). Newly married and cute as a button, why parents would have a problem choosing her as their children’s daycare provider is beyond me. But I’m thinking, after her stint in prison, she might be looking for a new career other than running a daycare. Who the fuck knew that children cried and screamed? I mean, it’s not like that in any of those shows she watched. Well CSI maybe, but it’s never more than a minute or so and it just shows things that happen to other people, not this sweet Southern Belle.

She’sShe reviews a good Christian woman, world at her manicured french-tipped fingers. (I just love cultured girls) But poor Erica learned the hard way that Paradise was merely an eight-letter word slapped behind her first name, and nothing other’s children would bring into her home.

Nope. Those filthy kids brought snot, dirty diapers, and a whole lot of noise. How in the fuck is a girl suppose to keep caught up on what the Quartermaines are doing when there are babies screaming for food and attention? Solution:  Beat them up. Attack them. Throw them around like sacks of potatoes. Sure they’ll scream harder for a bit, but if you’re really good at it like Erica, you can shut them up by inducing seizures from the abuse. Clever.

But one always runs the risk of someone spying. You know, people are always on the lookout for solutions to age-long problems and this was exactly what Erica found. Some other lady discovered this quiet child on the bed seizing and an emergency crew was called. Now had Erica been good at multi-tasking, she would have thrown the baby in the bathtub with some spit-up rags and that seizing child could have been agitating the nastiness right out. She clearly didn’t learn foresight in college and certainly didn’t think to cover her tracks prior to letting nosy people into her home.

Erica Paradise entered a guilty plea for attacking this child and was sentenced this week to 10 years in prison suspended to six years and four years probation for hitting this infant, throwing the 7 month-old onto a hardwood floor, then onto the bed. Although the child suffered a skull fracture and brain hemorrhage, there are no signs of permanent injuries. LuckyLucky reviews bitch.

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