What’s Wrong With A Little Oral Before Getting Layed?
June 25, 2009 by Jaded
Oklahoma City, OK–Times are tough in this economy…unless one is rife with cash, there just isn’t a whole lot of dough for the ‘extras’ anymore. People are cutting expenses everywhere. They are cutting back on vacation time, using public transportation to save gas, watching movies at home instead of at the cinema, etc. Hookers, I’m sure, are feeling the pinch as well. Unless they are offering a buy-one-get-one-free deal or accepting coupons, it must be tough to make a buck. Lahoma Sue Smith has it all figured out though. She isn’t going to let the economy slow her down. Hell, she’ll blow ya for snacks!
Lahoma Sue Smith
According to the police report, undercover officers noticed Smith “trying to catch a date” by flashing her headlights. I know squat about Oklahoma, or hookers for that matter, but is the flashing headlight thing a dead give-away that the person in the vehicle is a hooker, or what? Here in Oregon, they just walk up and down the street. Maybe our hookers aren’t quite up to date on whole headlight thing. I’ll have to look into that. Anyway, whatever signals she was putting out, they worked. When officers caught up with her, she had her shirt open and the man in the passenger seat was pulling his pants up. The guy told police that he was having marital issues and knew he could pick up a hooker in that particular neighborhood. He also informed police that though he wanted ‘company,’ he had no money. Soooo, he offered Lahoma Sue a box of Frito-Lay chips he had in the back of his car and she was willing to barter. The chips were said to be valued at $30. When asked if she had been busted for prostitution before, Lahoma Sue said, ‘Yes. Two or three times.’
Lahoma Sue Smith, 36, was ordered to pay $1,142 after pleading no contest to prostitution charges. Interestingly enough, based on ‘officer discretion,’ the snack provider wasn’t charged. Lahoma Sue, I gotta know, what would you do for a Klondike Bar? (A special thanks to TheMorningStar for the title)!
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10:45 am on June 25th, 2009
Ok this is kinda funny to me. Snacks??? Really! And then the guy “oh I was having maritial problems” yeah because hooking up with a hooker always solves them right!
And I love this:
I laughed so hard I almost chocked on my water!
11:01 am on June 25th, 2009
Long nights alone in the car, a little something to snack on between johns sounds perfect,
11:08 am on June 25th, 2009
maybe they meant she flashed her “headlights” ( @ ) ( @ )
11:14 am on June 25th, 2009
OK two things here – first, I wonder if Frito-Lay thought to press charges against their employee for theft?
Second… EWWWWW! Trading greasy chips for greasy lubbins? Nasty! I am not sure who is more pathetic – the guy for giving up perfectly good junk food, or the nasty scag for taking the offer.
4:47 pm on June 25th, 2009
This bothered me in a way completely different from the rest of the vile characters portrayed on this site…For some reason, all I could think of was “This woman is giving up her body, dignity and possibly freedom for food”…Regardless of whether she is a prostitute or not, the fact that her standards have dropped to giving her body away for a meal just makes me feel very uneasy…
4:50 pm on June 25th, 2009
36?? Really? I cannot believe this blowpig is 2 years older than me.
I’ve been on a “diet” being as it’s swimsuit season and all. I would totally blow someone for a Klondike Bar right about now!!
5:37 pm on June 25th, 2009
What would you do now that Klondike has a thicker chocolate shell?
5:45 pm on June 25th, 2009
mmmmmmmmmmm…nummy. You are an evil man. Why must you bring up frozen treats. I have already confessed to being a Kolndike whore. What else do you want from me??
5:46 pm on June 25th, 2009
One thing that really pisses me off is that the man not only has not been charged, but his name is not being released. Last I checked, it was just as illegal to hire a prostitute as to be one. Plus this guy probably stole the chips from his employer.
As “EWWWW” as this story is, it’s hardly fair that HER name is being dragged through the national media mud, while the guy who obviously suggested the whole nasty affair gets off scott free. I am sure that he brought up the box of chips in the negotiations, shouldn’t he be equally to blame as her?
As disgusting as the whole thing is, I am feeling a bit of pity for her.
5:59 pm on June 25th, 2009
Too late to edit… OK I did some searching, and the john’s name is (no lie) Johnson. Faron Ray Johnson. 47 Years old. From Shawnee Oklahoma.
It’s only fair if she is going to be publicly humiliated that he be as well. After all, he was the cheap-ass who offered snack foods for a blow job. If he had just had the $30 bucks this would have been a routine, run-of-the-mill prostitution case – probably wouldn’t even have made the local paper.
Hell, some people might look at this as if this nice woman was doing him a FAVOR. How many whores would take chips for sex? Maybe she felt sorry for him?
6:02 pm on June 25th, 2009
Word, Mazzi… Word.
6:57 pm on June 25th, 2009
Well, let’s be fair and realistic here, it’s not like he had a box of Pringles.
8:33 pm on June 25th, 2009
“Freeto-Lay”… Sex 4 potato chips.. What a concept.
1:34 am on June 26th, 2009
Dude my hubby works for frito and they get huge discounts on those cases of chips,
That case usually costs employees about $5.
Maybe they were just trying to create a new flavor, Super Sour Cream & ChaCha Chives
Haha ok ok sorry guys that was hella lame…
5:34 pm on June 26th, 2009
I agree, Mazzi, how down and out must this poor woman be? She’s not exactly skinny but that doesn’t mean she isn’t hungry. And the guy isn’t named? WTF? Now back to mean, bitchy Veronica…
Honestly, for a Klondike Bar, she might agree to be on the receiving end of a “Texas Chili Bowl.” According to the doctor on South Park, this involves both hot sauce and your asshole.
12:26 am on June 27th, 2009
3:34 am on June 30th, 2009
April this picture is for you….http://prankhoax.s3.amazonaws.com/tshirt3.jpg
4:20 pm on July 2nd, 2009
ha ha ha i know this guy he never gives me any chips
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