Robert Kolibas Makes A Mean Smoothie
June 24, 2009 by Jaded
Williston, Vermont–Robert Kolibas’ daughter was hosting a sleep-over last month. Being the kind and generous father that he is, Robert took it upon himself to whip up a couple of Smoothie’s for the kiddos and get them settled in front of the television to watch a flick. Awww…what a very gracious host! Shortly after consuming the Smoothie’s, both girls fell asleep in front of the TV. Sounds like a successful slumber party, no? No. Robert’s 13-year-old house guest was rudely awakened by the skeevy, nasty, old perv feeling her up and attempting to remove her clothes.
Robert Kolibas
“I just hear noises and I woke up,” the girl told police. “He was just feeling me and trying to take my clothes off and everything.” The girl tried kicking her friend in an attempt to wake her up, but Robert held her legs. “He whispered in my ear that he was sorry and that not to feel bad and not to tell anybody,” she stated. The girl also believes that Robert may have taken pictures of her during the assault. The freaked out teen later called her mother for a ride home. When her mother arrived to pick her up, the girl exited the house in tears. She looked a bit disheveled and was walking funny. When mom confronted Robert and asked him what the hell happened, he told her that the girl ‘probably rubbed up against his daughter in her sleep’ or had a nightmare. Come to find out, the girl had benzodiazepine, a sedative, in her blood. A search of Robert’s home turned up three Smoothie bags containing prescription drugs. But, there is no information as to whether or not any photographs of the teen were recovered. And, though I wonder if his own daughter had consumed a drugged Smoothie, I haven’t found any information on that either.
At one point in the search, Robert told police that “he should have known that something like this was going to happen. They should never have allowed sleepovers.” Yeah, Robert…hindsight and all that happy crap, right? Asshole. It came as no surprise to learn that Robert is a registered sex offender. He was convicted of a misdemeanor charge of providing obscene materials to a minor while living in Florida in ‘95. The original charge started out as a felony, but was later reduced to a misdemeanor. Robert was on Florida’s list of sex offenders, but, because the charge was a misdemeanor, under Vermont law, he was not required to register in that state. Robert Kolibas, 50, was arrested in Maine this month and returned to Vermont over the weekend. He is being held, without bail, on charges of lewd and lascivious conduct with a child, second degree unlawful restraint, and giving a drug to a minor. Authorities believe he may have been planning on fleeing to Canada. Fucking coward…
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7:28 am on June 24th, 2009
This happening in real life is definitely not as twistedly amusing as it was in Happiness. Thankfully she woke up and was brave enough to fight him off and get his creepy ass busted.
7:41 am on June 24th, 2009
I thought of Happiness too. “I came everybody!”
8:35 am on June 24th, 2009
I love Happiness, and it was the first thing I thought of as well.
10:22 am on June 24th, 2009
I’m sure he drugged his daughter. You know not wanting her to wake up and all.
10:39 am on June 24th, 2009
He is a nightmare himself. Gross, poor girl and his poor daughter how awful to know your dad did this to one of your friends. As a kid I we to and had sleep overs many with friends from school my parents never met, luckily nothing like this ever happened just good innocent fun.
12:06 pm on June 24th, 2009
Gross,gross, and infuriating. He mutters “I am sorry” and continues on with his nasty actions? Cut his penis off, and make a dang smoothie with it.
12:37 pm on June 24th, 2009
These stories make me nervous as my kids are now sleepover ages!
1:25 pm on June 24th, 2009
Didn’t the last guy who pulled something like this kill himself? Ack, they are all starting to run together.
1:27 pm on June 24th, 2009
Yes Ma’am! I totally agree, AND make Kolibas drink it…..
ShagNasty Perv!!
3:39 pm on June 24th, 2009
Ugh! I want to kill him myself. Poor girl. How did the mother not bring the girl’s daddy back to whoop his ass??? My hubby would have been on that like flies on shit.
3:59 pm on June 24th, 2009
Me too! Though the “drugged tuna sandwich” incident somehow wasn’t even the most disturbing part of that movie…that distinction belongs to the moment when the molester’s son asks him if he would ever molest HIM, and his response is “No, I would jack off instead.”
I love Happiness but I feel compelled to mention that it is NOT for everyone — it is probably one of the single most offensive things I’ve ever seen. EVER. The molester angle is only one portion of the overwhelming depravity.
9:48 am on July 8th, 2009
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