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Great Falls, MT – Being from the Midwest means I’ve had to build a tolerance to the many jokes regarding the stereotypical redneck. Well, not so much a tolerance to the jokes but rather: the stereotypical redneck! Here, the mullet haircut is still the most requested $10 style in the “salons”. Busch and Bud are the beers of choice because, by God, this is Anheuser-Busch country. And what the hell is the favorite past time, you ask? NASCARNascar 09 reviews. (Nothing goes better with Busch products. Think I’m full of shit? HeadHead reviews to their website. “Site contains fishing, hunting, and NASCAR information”)

I’ve always joked about NASCAR fans and perhaps it’s a personal defect of mine: not being able to understand it as a dynamic and action packed sport. I can neither become excited about the prospect of being a driver going around and around in a circle for an extended amount of time nor sitting in the stands watching the cars go around and around for the same amount of time. What I do enjoy is the three seconds I give the TV channel as I’m flipping through. The camera men and producers never let me down as I await the cars approaching the crowd side of the track and the “human wave” of fans standing whooping it up and saluting their favorite driver with their Busch beers.

Meet Michael Dauwalder, drunk driver extraordinaire.

FridayFriday reviews evening, MichaelMichael reviews got a little shit-faced and headed to the parking lot of the local Popcorn Colonel looking for friends. His friending attempt started with asking people to smoke some pot with him, anybody and everybody…ended with nobody. Not one dope smoking fiend took him up his kindly offer. What’s a drunk man to do but step up his attention gathering tricks! Reports to the police state Michael started driving in circles not only exhibiting his steering expertise, but his mathematical skills as well. Each time he passed the South end of the parking lot, he yelled out his lap number. That’s multi-tasking. Damn NASCAR drivers aren’t expected to keep count, they’ve got some overpaid individual in a coveted position waving different colored flags. My buddy Michael is a smart smart man, being able to do all that and remain drunk.

Finally having enough (perhaps he was just dizzy) he asked advice on how to perform a “burnout”. LOLLOL reviews. Michael, I think you’ve already achieved that! With the car still running and his door wide open, he stumbled out and graced a nearby gas station with his presence where the police decided to pay him the attention he earlier craved. “I’m drunk as hell” he told them and promptly asked them to take him to jail. See, I told you he was smart!

NASCAR Dauwalder was charged with a felony DUI Monday as he made is initial appearance in the Cascade County District Court. Damn, I hate it when friend whoring comes at such a cost.

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