Review: Scarpetta – Bored To Tears
June 23, 2009 by Jaded
Many consider Patricia Cornwell to be the best of the best when it comes to crime writing. She is widely known for her novels featuring Dr. Kay Scarpetta, ME. I have to admit, I was once on the Scarpetta bandwagon. I devoured each and every book based on the character. Then it finally dawned on me that each book had the same story line, written over and over; Cornwell just invented a new name for the same cunning, vicious, and intelligent bad guy. And with each book, Scarpetta’s niece began to develop almost inhuman superpowers! Lucy is a jack-of-all-trades. She’s a whiz computer geek; she’s a millionaire; she can fly; she can shoot; she’s a spy; she’s a murderer. She was such a bad-ass, the FBI didn’t even want her. I don’t find her to be a believable character and I expect Lucy will be revealed to be an alien in some future novel.
Let’s have a look at the synopsis for Scarpetta:
Leaving behind her private forensic pathology practice in Charleston, South Carolina, Kay Scarpetta accepts an assignment in New York City, where the NYPD has asked her to examine an injured man on Bellevue Hospital’s psychiatric prison ward. The handcuffed and chained patient, Oscar Bane, has specifically asked for her, and when she literally has her gloved hands on him, he begins to talk—and the story he has to tell turns out to be one of the most bizarre she has ever heard.
The injuries, he says, were sustained in the course of a murder . . . that he did not commit. Is Bane a criminally insane stalker who has fixed on Scarpetta? Or is his paranoid tale true, and it is he who is being spied on, followed and stalked by the actual killer? The one thing Scarpetta knows for certain is that a woman has been tortured and murdered—and more violent deaths will follow. Gradually, an inexplicable and horrifying truth emerges: Whoever is committing the crimes knows where his prey are at all times. Is it a person, a government? And what is the connection between the victims?
In the days that follow, Scarpetta; her forensic psychologist husband, Benton Wesley; and her niece, Lucy, who has recently formed her own forensic computer investigation firm in New York, will undertake a harrowing chase through cyberspace and the all-too-real streets of the city—an odyssey that will take them at once to places they never knew, and yet much, much too close to home.
Throughout, Cornwell delivers shocking twists and turns, and the kind of cutting-edge technology that only she can provide. Once again, she proves her exceptional ability to entertain and enthrall.–
Yes, the gangs all here. Marino is struggling to stay sober. It pissed me off that Cornwell turned Marino into a wimp…taking away his true identity. I liked Marino drunk, it made him funnier. Now that Kay and Benton are actually married, instead of carrying on a lurid affair, they have no idea how to live with each other. Lucy, as usual, ends up being the hero.
This book has everything; murder, conspiracies, bad cops, and a GPS chip installed in a midgets butt, etc. What I found most interesting was the fact that the story revolved around a website similar to my beloved Dreamin’ Demon. The website, called The Gotham Gotcha, was developed by an unknown and mysterious man. The intent of the site was to bash misbehaving celebrities…Scarpetta being one of them.
What is also has is pages and pages filled with boring, over-descriptive crap. Not just crap, crap that has nothing to do with the story at all. At one point in the book computer fonts are discussed at length. The size, type, bold-face or italicized. This meant absolutely nothing in the whole scheme of things, it had no bearing on the story. As a matter of fact, if you removed all the crap, the 500-page book would probably be reduced to about 250-pages. Scarpetta was almost painful to read, if I could keep my eyes open long enough to get through three paragraphs, that is. There were times my eyes would roll back into my head and I found myself sighing, in pain. I feel that Cornwell just whipped up a bunch of nonsensical crap, slapped the name Scarpetta on the title, and sat back and waited for the money to pour in…which, I’m sure it did. I, for one, am pissed off that I paid full price for the hardcover instead of waiting for the paperback to hit the BOGO racks at the grocery store. I do believe I am finished with Patricia Cornwell.
Rating: 
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7:48 pm on June 23rd, 2009
I got to the same place with Tom Clancy. Haven’t picked one up in years. Thanks for an awesome review Jaded! I hate it when my time, and worse yet, my money are wasted on something I thought would be great. It’s the reason i always stick with the steaks at restaurants, lol.
8:05 pm on June 23rd, 2009
Thanks, Lazlo! The release of the novel had so much hype involved…the commercial was on my TV screen 5-7 times daily, posters covered my favorite book store, bookworm friends and relatives were abuzz with excitement over the release, etc. I felt so special when I was the first to purchase the book.
The first chapter took me at least 2 weeks to complete, I couldn’t keep my eyes open for the life of me. I had agreed to do a review on this book, so, in the end, I had to force myself to read it, massive eye rolls and all. I have never been so disappointed with a novel…ever. Unless, of course, I count another of Cornwell’s finest, the Isle of Dogs.
9:36 pm on June 23rd, 2009
Yeah, I got burned out on Cornwell a few years ago. Patterson too. And Grishom. I don’t know if the writers just get lazy, or if the publishers demand that they keep rewriting the same book, but after about 4-6 novels, it seems like most just become robots. John Sandford and Elizabeth George(knock on wood) seem to be among the few exceptions.
9:37 pm on June 23rd, 2009
I just finished “Blow Fly”. I am little behind. I truly loved the first few books and boy were they addictive. But you are totally right.
Is Lucy still a lesbian too? lol
10:10 pm on June 23rd, 2009
Cornwell herself is a lesbian, so I guess she lives vicariously through Lucy. Cornwell was in some big scandal a few years ago with the wife of some undercover FBI agent in Virginia. I’m not sure if it was national news, but it got a lot of play in DC.
11:02 pm on June 23rd, 2009
I was absolutely in love with Dean Koontz after I picked up one of his books…tore through book after book. Now, I’d almost rather sit through an entire informercial than to read a Koontz book. Aside from the Frankenstien series, which he has yet to finish, his books are all the same…boring.
I think Lucy is confused. Before it is revealed that she is a hermaphrodite visiting Earth from another planet, I think she’ll bang Marino.
12:23 am on June 24th, 2009
Oh good God! That would be worth buying the book for! As it is, I don’t even bother getting them from the library, or even for 50 cents at a yard sale, lol.
2:22 am on June 24th, 2009
You forgot to mention the men in Scarpetta’s life. First partner (was his name Mark?) gets blown up by terrorists in London. How tragic. Then it is revealed that he was having an affair at the time he was blown up and its like losing him all over again. Then she meets Benton. Then she gets involved with Benton, – but he is married. Then he gets divorced. Then they get involved. Then Benton gets killed in a fire. How tragic. Except he actually faked his own autopsy and he wasn’t dead at all, – just deep under cover. So he springs back to life and they take up again. I started losing interest around the point when he was “killed”. No tragic heroine is allowed that much bad luck in men or so many conspiracies against her. I am surprised hear they have married, but since they did, it was to be expected that they cannot get it to work.
Also, I hate what started happening to the prose, but that is a different story.
Cornwall should stop trying to be arty, and Scarpetta should hitch up with Marino. He’s been wanting her for years.
2:45 am on June 24th, 2009
Thank you for that input, Abroad. While all of that was floating around inside my Scarpetta fried brain at the time…I failed to mention just how unlucky Kay was. Really, if I were her, I’d look into a new career or something. I will never buy or borrow another Cornwell novel until I know, for sure, that Kay will finally get blown up or beamed up…whatever.
6:24 pm on June 24th, 2009
The more so as it would be extremely damaging to any case to call an expert witness with the luggage she is carrying at this point…….
Oh well, I loved the first several books as straight-forward crime novels, and I guess disappointment has made me all the less tolerant of the way this series got side-tracked into conspiracy-mongering. “Lilies that fester….” and all that jazz.
11:25 am on June 25th, 2009
Cornwell herself is a lesbian, so I guess she lives vicariously through Lucy. Cornwell was in some big scandal a few years ago with the wife of some undercover FBI agent in Virginia. I’m not sure if it was national news, but it got a lot of play in DC.
——
Yes, in Richmond this made headlines for a couple of days, along with some rather nasty accusations directed to a prominent surgeon in the area (at the time), but died down almost as fast as it started. Seeing her, from a bit of a distance, at local events, I could see she was becoming quite the diva.
I agree with So Jaded, Isle of Dogs is her last best work. Even though people keep giving me her latest novels as gifts, they’re on the shelf unread. I’ve lost interest in her writing.
4:06 pm on July 15th, 2009
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4:36 pm on July 19th, 2009
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1:54 pm on July 27th, 2009
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