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The Daily Bite

April 30, 2009 at 4:30 pm by  

It is time once again to highlight our complete failure at covering all of the people that were not so much born into this world as crapped onto it.  If it didn’t cut into my nap time, I could provide you with pages and pages of witty banter about these sad sacks of shit, but alas, I am lazy and useless.  I hope you can make do with these short snippets in the meantime.

The Daily Bite

Lemoe Lemapu

Lemoe Lemapu – Haaarrr!!!  Imagine you are a school bus driver who bumps into a child accidentally.  Imagine that child gets a bloody nose.  Imagine this pirate on steroids and baconators is a family member of that child and is convinced you did it on purpose.  Yeah it was like that.  Lemapu assualted that bus driver and sent him to the hospital.  You know, I once tried to fix my daughters hair like that and she took it down because she thought she looked stupid.  Go figure.

Christopher T. Hooey
– This sick fuck gets off on upskirt pictures of 5 year olds.  Not only is he pervy, he’s as dumb as a box of hair.  He used the flash on his camera as he bent over and stuck the camera under the little girl’s dress.  Did he want to get caught?  When he was confronted and the police were called, he deleted the pictures, bit the memory card in half and threw it in the trash.  He did admit he took three pictures for personal enjoyment.  Ick.

Kenneth Capazzola
- Old boy here set off the hinky meter of a parent in his area, and for good reason too.  Seems Mr. Cappazzola, 54, has quite a few friends that range in age 12 to 16.  He was charged with offering the minors cigarettes and alcohol, and threatening a couple of them with violence.  The investigation isn’t over though.  I for one am happy to hear this, something isn’t right about a grown man hanging out with children.

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  • aspartame

    per the photo  al i have to say is

    ARRRRRG!!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    HAAAAAARRRR!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    Swivel must be suffering from some misplaced telepathy.

    “Arghhhh, Castille. I said, Arghhhh!”

    I’ve seen more pirate talk in the last 24 hours than I have in the entire first quarter of ’09… and I gotta say, I’m diggin’ it.

  • Unamused Cat

    Why did the pirate run aground?

    His eye-patch was the wrong prescription!