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Daniel Duran Had An Explosion In His Pants

April 22, 2009 at 12:22 am by FlamingFox

Wachovia, TX- Just last Thursday around 2:30 p.m., Daniel Duran, 50, walked into a bank and informed a teller he had a gun. He demanded for her to give him money. The frightened teller did as he commanded, but she also threw in some bundles containing exploding dye packs. The dumb-ass stuffed the loot down his pants and took off out of the bank. The dye packs exploded and a man who was sitting in his car at the bank’s drive-thru saw Duran flee from the bank with red dye coming out of his pants. The man decided to get involved.

The Good Samaritan, who wishes to not be named, called 911 and took off after Duran. The man, who kept a gun in his trunk in case it would be needed one day, chased Duran down with his car. When he caught up to Duran, he pointed his gun at him through his car window and Duran told the man he was unarmed. “I didn’t withdraw my gun, I kept it on him until I could get him on the ground. As I exited the car he took off running. The money was laying on the ground,” the man said.

Less than a mile away, the police found Duran hiding in the bed of a pickup truck near and apartment complex. The explosion of the dye packs inside Duran’s pants gave him second degree burns to his genital area. That had to have gotten him singing Hallelujah! I guess he will never have the balls to try to rob a bank again. Police arrested Duran and took him to a local hospital. They found no weapon on his body. Bank Robbery charges are pending. The Good Samaritan, who was a little winded from the chase, suffered no injuries and said that he felt he had to do something. “I work real hard for my money, a lot of people watching do too and it’s not fair for people to try and get away with free money,” he said.

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Source

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Daniel Duran Had An Explosion In His Pants

Tags: bank robbery, Texas

13 Comments

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auddie

After looking at the bloody groin money-shot, I was almost too scared to read the article!

Also – I couldn’t think of a funny Duran-Duran parallel . . .
MadeaBecBec

auddie:
After looking at the bloody groin money-shot, I was almost too scared to read the article!
Also – I couldn’t think of a funny Duran-Duran parallel . . .

Here ya go Auddie:
Entering the atmosphere don’t know what is waiting here oh no
If there’s nothing left to fear when we come to gather in the big bang generation
(Feel like I’m losing control) Big bang generation
(Now that I’m here all alone) Big bang generation
(Feel like I’m losing control) Big bang generation
(Feel like I’m losing it) We’re gonna come to gather here

Daniel Duran Durrr Ran and got tie-dyed, still no money…. and ball-less
auddie

lol, madeabb!

*Just posting this because I had no idea wtf they were saying *here* all these years:

Burning the ground I break from the crowd
I’m on the hunt down I’m after you
I smell like I sound. I’m lost and I’m found
And I’m hungry like the wolf
*Strut on a line it’s discord and rhyme*
I’m on the hunt down I’m after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I’m hungry like the wolf
malq

LOL talk about poetic justice.
What a dumbshit. All monies from bank robberies have exploding dye packs. Even I know that. I can smell burnt pubes from here.
Redshoes

“The explosion of the dye packs inside Duran’s pants gave him second degree burns to his genital area. ”

HAHAHAH AWESOME
CassieMomma

Haa haa haa haa haa. dumb ass, you had it wrong from the start and now I can laught at your expense!
http://www.myspace.com/justdazin So Jaded

Hahahaaaaa!! Epic. Fail. Love the video on this…I can’t find it online, but the morning newscast had a clip of the fucker running past a camera with his crotch smoking red. Funny shit.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=446437751 FlamingFox

So Jaded:
Hahahaaaaa!! Epic. Fail. Love the video on this…I can’t find it online, but the morning newscast had a clip of the fucker running past a camera with his crotch smoking red. Funny shit.

The video in the source link is a good one!
http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

There can only be ONE Duran Duran! The ORIGINAL!
http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

Oh, added video thanks to Harley, and kudos to the bystanders.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=446437751 FlamingFox

Morbid:
Oh, added video thanks to Harley, and kudos to the bystanders.

Thank you, Harley and Morbid!
Stella

Morbid: Oh, added video thanks to Harley, and kudos to the bystanders.

Yes, thanks Harley. The best part of the video is when they’re dragging him out of the back of the pick-up!! So stupid, shoving the cash down his pants.

WTG bystanders! “I work hard for my money …”
back alley sally

yay! I love stories about bank robberies with a happy ending (haha no pun intended). When i’m not wandering the back alley behind the roller rink, I work in a bank. And hell yeah we have dye packs, and trackers and planted bills and more. We got robbed a while back by a jackass who resembled this guy, but crisis was averted when he was tackled by an Older police WOMAN! (with pink cuffs to boot- no shit). In a room full of big burly construction workers in line to cash their checks, she was the only one to react. *SWOON*