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Kayla Newton Is Dim

April 16, 2009 at 4:06 am by  

Kayla Newton

Kayla Newton

Fort Pierce, FloridaSome people are so insanely stupid, that I find it hard to believe they can manage to walk and breathe at the same time. Take Kayla Newton, for example. She needed some quick cash to free her boyfriend, Roy Dillard, from jail. Speaking in code, over the jail house telephone, Kayla and Roy hatched a plan to buy his freedom.

We’ll start at the beginning…Roy Dillard, 20, was arrested March 19 and charged with grand theft of a firearm, home invasion robbery with a firearm, impeding power or telephone communication to a dwelling and aggravated assault on an elderly person. Roy pistol-whipped an elderly man, fired two shots, and took off running. Police later found him hiding out in the woods. In his possession was a stolen .22-caliber handgun, mask, glove, shirt and a pill bottle. His bail was set at $500,000.

Kayla was missing her man and was wracking her brain trying to figure out how to come up with the money necessary to free him. Last month, Roy had mentioned to his mother that he had hidden some ‘blues’ in the wooded area where he was apprehended. Kayla started planning.

Any time you pick up a jail house phone, you get a recording that informs you the call is being recorded. Kayla and Roy are aware of that fact, so they started speaking in code. She was heard asking Roy where he had hidden a ‘shoe’ that could help hire an attorney for him. ‘Did your mom tell you I went on a scavenger hunt?’ she asked Roy. I need more clues Roy. The shoe could help you, Roy. You need to give clues. Half would get you what you need.’ The ‘shoe’ that Kayla was referring to was actually a stash of 17 oxycodone pills. I don’t know what OC’s sell for in Florida, but Kayla thought it would be enough to hire an attorney for Roy.

Roy, not being very bright either, gave his girlfriend the directions. ‘Make a right off of dead man’s curve, it’s underneath the little fucking dirt curve walking through the trail,’ he said. ‘That’s all I can tell ya Kayla. You’re gonna end up in here with me.’ Prophetical….

Armed with directions, Kayla set off to find the stash. She was oblivious to the fact that the cops had the same set of directions. She found the hiding spot. Imagine the look on her face when she discovered the pills were gone. In their place, a sheriff’s office business card with a detective’s name on it. Gotcha!! That would have been the ultimate Candid Camera moment.

Kayla had to deliver the bad news to her man. Roy then told Kayla that the only thing she had accomplished was to cause more charges to be placed on him, ‘Those pills carry a lot of time, Kayla,’ said Roy. ‘I was only trying to help, Roy,’ replied Kayla. Yeah, Roy! Ungrateful fucker!

Kayla Newton, 21, was arrested Tuesday on a conspiracy to sell or deliver oxycodone charge. She was released Tuesday from the St. Lucie County jail on $15,000 bail.

Roy’s Myspace proclaims, ‘LoCk3d Up…aT tH3 RoCk 4 a MiNuT3…’ And Kayla’s Myspace says, ‘FREE MY BABY…I LOVE YOU!!!’ Isn’t that sweeeeet? Kayla, just a tip, mommy to mommy. Take care of your kid and let your adult boyfriend lay in the bed he made, K? To the detectives? Good one!

Here’s Roy, looking all beat up and sad-faced…

Roy Dillard

Roy Dillard

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