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Play Doctor, Go To Jail?

April 15, 2009 at 2:10 pm by  
20090415144313 Play Doctor, Go To Jail?

Just a random Jailbait pic, quit lookin' at her tits, fellas.

About a month ago, a story emerged about an 11 year old girl being charged with three counts of rape for sexual contact she made with three children – two boys and one girl – under the age of 10. Officials in Ohio believe she is the youngest perpetrator they’ve ever had. Rhonda Hinkle of Muskingum County Children’s Services says they’re seeing an increase in the number of children who are committing sex crimes. Like you’d expect, it’s being termed “an alarming trend”. Hinkle blames “technology” (surprise, surprise) and “blended families” – whatever that’s supposed to mean – for exposing children to behaviors and values they wouldn’t have held otherwise.

But it begs the question: Is the alarming trend the behavior of the children, or how it’s regarded by adults?

Some time ago, I read an editorial piece about the fact that we’re so hypersensitive to the “sexualization” of children that we’ve begun over-reacting to normal childhood behavior. Two examples I recall the author citing was the practice of parents who spank their young children for touching themselves “inappropriately”, and an elementary school teacher who filed a sexual harassment suit against a very young student for groping, or some such nonsense. To a rational mind, these are extreme responses to common and otherwise correctable behaviors. But, more and more, it seems that we use incidents like these to punish a child rather than educate them.

Child-on-child sex abuse does occur. When it is forced or coerced, it’s definitely not “playing doctor” anymore. But is that was happened in this case? I find it interesting that Detective Randy Ritchason, the detective in charge of the case, specifically stated:

“I think people need to understand the charge of rape means any type of penetration there is during the act, no matter how slight. It doesn’t necessarily mean a suspect has someone tied down or beats them and then rapes them. A person under the age of 18 doesn’t have to be forced, either.

Well, gosh – that, to me, sounds like the kind of “doctor” being played by prepubescent children around the country. Back in my day, this would be handled by a phone call between parents and some discipline. Is this the kind of thing that should be dealt with by the courts?

Only time will tell what fate will befall this 11 year old girl. Jail is regarded as a last resort, but the more common sentence of outpatient treatment can last as long as two years. If her escapades were severe enough to warrant such extensive treatment, I hope it helps her. If she’s just a regular ol’ prepubescent child, though, this experience could be all sorts of damaging.

 Play Doctor, Go To Jail?
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Comments


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  • seductress

    I think at 11 I was playing “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    seductress: I think at 11 I was playing “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”.

    When I was 8 or 9, the daughter of the woman who was babysitting me would take me to the side of the house and show me how she could stick things inside herself. She was even ope to requests.

    “See? I can put a blade of grass in it!”
    “Here, try this stick.”

    It was very enlightening and the more I think about it, could explain some things.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    No shit, right? At roughly that age (although, probably a couple years younger), me and two neighbor girls would get together for debauchery on occasion. We never got caught, but if we had, I can’t imagine any of our parents taking it to the police.

    Kids are curious and like to involve others in helping them figure shit out. That shouldn’t land anyone in the court system.

  • Friday

    The next time I get a pap smear I’m going to tell the Dr. not to stick that thing in me after he’s half way through there.

  • ecvmanzo

    This is beyond ridiculous. At that age, I too was playing “doctor” or “mommy and daddy”. Nobody ever thought that we were sexually abusing one another. It’s called curiousity. Some things get too much attention, while REAL crimes don’t. Give me a break..

  • Castille

    I sort of hope with the 11 yr old that there was a serious element of coercion involved, or the children were frighteningly younger than her with some abusive overtone.  Even then, the rape charges seem extreme, and in any other situation would be outrageous. 

    It sometimes seems there is an over reaction to things that might’ve been brushed off before.  We’re all very hyper aware of sex abuse now.  And some kids victimize others.  But I’m not interested in making victims out of children who were involved in consensual games with other children that weren’t really terribly concerned about it all until the adults freaked out.  There are certainly ways to put an end to such games and potentially address underlying issues without turning a kid into a victim with all the implied shame or a perpetrator with everything bad that label brings.

    Given the way all sex offenses have been so thoroughly demonized, I don’t want to see young children charged with any of them – even if there’s a sexual element to what they’ve done.  Since I don’t think we’re going to change and discriminate in the way sex offenses are viewed as a category, I think we need to find a different way in the system to handle children that aren’t yet post-puperty involved in incidents like this that isn’t criminal sex offense charges.

  • CassieMomma

    I’m not sure how I feel.  At first I was going to say “how much could you really know at 11″, but then I thought about it and I remembered the story of the 11 yr old who shot his stepmom in cold blood.  I thought that he could never be rehabed….I still do.  So does that mean that an 11 yr old is capable of rape too?  Yeah probably.  Do we as parents look too much into it now a days….maybe, but I think it’s more in your face then when I was growing up (I’m 29) and we are forced too.  I do think kids will be kids, but they are forced to grow up faster and we need to take everything into account and be diligent.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    I don’t know, Cassie… if the number of adult children living with their parents is any measure, it would seem children are growing up slower than ever.

    But I do agree with Castille – even when sexual behavior between children does qualify as abuse, there’s got to be something we can do other than charging them with a sex offense, given the stigma. Kids don’t understand like adults do, and I can’t see charging an 8 year old with sexual misconduct of some sort because he or she forcefully engaged sexually with another child than charging a kid with assault for pushing another kid down on the play ground. Punishment is certainly needed in a situation like that, but the punishment should take place outside of a legal setting, in my opinion.

  • Harley_Tech

    seductress: I think at 11 I was playing “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”.

    Well, I was kinda hoping you might still be interested in a little show and tell. :)

    R

  • Jury

    Am I the only one here that her displaying a gang sign in this picture.  Have you noticed the clothes she is wearing, and the skin piercing in her stomach, and most of all the lack of remorse on her face.

    Looks like her parents could give a crap.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Jury: Am I the only one here that her displaying a gang sign in this picture.  Have you noticed the clothes she is wearing, and the skin piercing in her stomach, and most of all the lack of remorse on her face.Looks like her parents could give a crap.

    It’s just a random pic.

  • CassieMomma

    Growing up slower or just be less responsible….. :)  

    I do agree that we shouldn’t be so haste in going “charge” crazy, but I do think it does happen sometimes and we shouldn’t ignore it when it does.

  • Jury

    It’s just a random pic.

    Oh, its not her?

  • KNL

    “Two examples I recall the author citing was the practice of parents who spank their young children for touching themselves “inappropriately””

    My friend and her husband caught their young son doing this and were at a loss as to how to handle it.  The husband called his friend, who also has sons, to ask if he had ever dealt with the same situation.  His friend told him the best piece of advice I have heard when it comes to this issue:

    “Well I still play with mine.  What right do I have to tell him he can’t play with his?  I just made it clear that it’s something you do in private, never in public.”

    I believe most kids experiment.  They’re curious, naturally.  The embarrassment the parents cause them when they throw such a fit about it causes more harm to the child than any consensual experimenting they may have taken part in. 

  • HotReadingMama

    Jury: Am I the only one here that her displaying a gang sign in this picture.  Have you noticed the clothes she is wearing, and the skin piercing in her stomach, and most of all the lack of remorse on her face.Looks like her parents could give a crap.

    Morbid: It’s just a random pic.

    As evidenced by the caption underneath….my apologies if that was added after the fact….I dont see how it couldnt have been actually.

    And dude. That’s a friggin peace sign. Just thrown in a precocious and gangsta way.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    No, Jury, it’s not her. Because she’s only 11 and her “victims” are even younger, they’re not releasing any personal information.

    KNL – that sounds like a FINE solution. I wish all parents could be that reasonable.

  • devilish

    We too told our boys that touching themselves was perfectly normal, though a private thing.  When they didn’t understand, we asked them if they would poop in front of someone else.  After the chorus of “ick” and “gross” and “nasty” they admitted that they wouldn’t poop in front of anyone.  Haven’t had a problem since.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    But what if curiosity has 9-year-old Timmy three knuckles deep up in your 6-year-old daughter. What criteria must the law follow before curiosity is a form of sexual activity? Age?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    I don’t know that there can be a specific set of criteria. It requires all sorts of parental and prosecutorial discretion, I guess. I realize that makes it messy, but the alternative pretty much guarantees that curious little people will get needlessly sucked into “The System”, you know?

  • knotme

    Good Lord!  At the tender age of 4 me and about 6 other playmates got a boy down (right out in the open), undid his pants because we wanted to see what boys looked like.  It was innocent and we all just giggled ourselves silly that he never came back to the playground to play with us.  My cousin was the same way about looking under dresses and asking to see the ‘goodies’… just plain ole’ curiosity!  Of course, when one is 10 and older… they damn well know better; they know it is unacceptable behavior.  This girl looks like she’s more ‘enlightened’ about sex that I was at 11.  Heck, I thought you could get pregnant from kissing… the world moves fast!

  • HotReadingMama

    knotme:  This girl looks like she’s more ‘enlightened’ about sex that I was at 11. 

    That. Is. Not.The.Child.In.Question.
    Jesus Christ on a handcrutch.

  • Peeperann

    KNL: “Two examples I recall the author citing was the practice of parents who spank their young children for touching themselves “inappropriately””My friend and her husband caught their young son doing this and were at a loss as to how to handle it.  The husband called his friend, who also has sons, to ask if he had ever dealt with the same situation.  His friend told him the best piece of advice I have heard when it comes to this issue:“Well I still play with mine.  What right do I have to tell him he can’t play with his?  I just made it clear that it’s something you do in private, never in public.”I believe most kids experiment.  They’re curious, naturally.  The embarrassment the parents cause them when they throw such a fit about it causes more harm to the child than any consensual experimenting they may have taken part in.

    All three of my sons touched themselves when they were little. By about age 4 we could explain that it was fine, but please do it in your room or the bathroom. Now my grandson’s are doing the same thing and my children are just as relaxed about it as I was. It’s not a big deal.

    However, I would like to know the ages of the other three children involved. Regardless, I do not think the police should have been called and it’s possible, based on the others ages and the actual act she may need help.

    And it could also just be “playing doctor” which every person in the world had done whether they admit it or not. It’s going to hard to make a decision one way or the other unless we have a lot more information.

  • biteme

    WOW! look at her pic
    LOL
    couldn’t help myself
    On a serious note, I don’t know anyone that didn’t play doctor
    but who knows kids are grown up much younger these days

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    C’mon, people! How many 11 year olds do you know with fake tans, a C-cup and a belly button piercing? That girl’s at least 16.

    That’s not a picture of the girl in the story.

  • Kdogg

    Athena, girl looks 16 or 17 to me. If she’s 11..damn.. kids really are growing up fast today

  • Peeperann

    THE  GIRL IN THE PICTURE IS NOT THE GIRL IN THE STORY!! IT’S JUST SOME RANDOM PIC THAT WAS SELECTED. THE GIRL IN THE STORY’S FACE CANNOT BE SHOWN BECAUSE SHE’S ELEVEN.

    Sorry, was that loud enough for everyone??? LOL

  • silvahalo

    Peeperann: All three of my sons touched themselves when they were little. By about age 4 we could explain that it was fine, but please do it in your room or the bathroom. Now my grandson’s are doing the same thing and my children are just as relaxed about it as I was. It’s not a big deal….

    You are a superb and enlightened parent Peep. As a mother of 2 boys, I frequently get questions from new mom’s on how to handle their boys touching their privates. It amazes me how often parents punish a child for simply being curious about their little bodies.

    I think it is very disturbing to find younger and younger children being charged for rape involving victims even younger than the perp. Our world has changed so much where sexual overtones are present in everyday play things we buy for our children. Once innocent looking play dolls are now made out to look like “easy-sleazy-Nancy”. On the other hand, because we are a society that is still learning to cope with the ever changing environment our children live in, we at times, I think over-react to situations that are innocent in nature for children to be curious. In some cases, I think it is clear an act of rape has occured where in other cases its an over-blown reaction to child development play. I just hope as a parent that I will always be able to distinguish the differance as in some cases the lines are blurred.

  • mg

    When I was a kid, probably 4 or 5, my stepsister would hold me down and do things to me.  She was only a few years older than me.  She would also pull out my hair and tell me she would do worse things if I ever told.  Do I think she should have gone to jail? No.  I do think that something had to have been happening to her, because of the stuff she did to me.  I don’t think it was normal “doctor” stuff.

    On the next subject…..I caught my 13 yr old touching himself the other day.  I just told him to go to his room, that what he was doing was normal, but that it was private.  I think that this is such a hard subject for a lot of parents to deal with.  You dont want to make them feel bad about themselves, but it is also very hard not to overreact. 

  • Sir Geoff

    My son is 12 and you’d be suprised at what they know nowadays at this age! I think 11 is old enough to know about sex and not naive “playing doctor”.  Most schools allow 5th grade to start sex ed. Also, I wonder if this was an 11 year old boy would people be so quick to assume overreaction or he was just “curious” or “playing doctror”?

  • lostlilgirl

    HotReadingMama:

    LOL @ “Jesus Christ on a handcrutch”

  • snvoigt

    Hi, new poster, but long time lurker!! I wanted to throw my .02 in because this post hits close to home for me……

    We are in the process of a case with my 5yr old daughter and a 14yr old neighbor boy. We found out on Presidents day that he had been sexually molesting her for months. It was their special game, and he took it to far the last time, and is scared her enough to tell us At this point I am so angry, I hope they fry him.
    His parents on the other hand feel this is just him experimenting and he should get help, not go to juvie.  They are shocked we filed charges against him. They feel we have been friends for so long, we should keep it between our family.
    I remember being at the age where I started realizing my body, but I sure wasn’t going to find a little kid to practice on.  But I don’t remember being as young as some of the kids in the stories I have seen lately. We are an over sexed society, and kids are learning things at a younger age. It is us as parents that have the responsibility to shield them from this, and as situations come up explain to them what is going on with their bodies, and what is appropriate and not appropriate. I know this all to well as I have had to start the dreaded SEX talk with my now not so innocent 5yr old because some over sexed teenager’s parents never discussed it with him!!

  • MadeaBecBec

    As I was reading the comments, my first thought was, 11 years old, in this day and age is too old to be playing doctor with other children, even other 11 year olds… Then I thought, wonder how old the victim(s) were, if they’re under 6 years, that’s even more inappropriate! If the victim is the same age and didn’t want to be “explored”  then the 11 year old should’ve ceased with the touching. Which, I suspect is what happened in this case, the 11 year old didn’t stop and probably teased or ridiculed the victim, in my mind that is sexual bullying!
    To me it depends on the difference in their ages and if the same age, the approach!
    Yes, children are curious, but usually by 11 years old (these days), you have pretty much satisfied any curiousity, unless you have no television or internet and never go to the movies or look at a magazine….

    snvoight: You are doing the right thing! At 14 years old, a boy should not be interested in 4 and 5 year old girls, my goodness, he should be crushing on a senior! You may be stopping a potential pedophile! So sorry your family is going through this trauma!
    Oh and Welcome to D’D…..

  • malq

    Sorry but at 11 years old I have to try to defend the girl somewhat. Raging hormones and poor parenting probably are the biggest factors here. Could she help having sexual contact with these children? yes but was probably not guided to think that way. Empathy for others is not a toally intuitive thing. It is taught by the parents. I am a prime example My empathy level is low. I never picked it up on my own. Did I molest? no but I was under the sheets with a girl playing doctor. So how bad did she molest these kids. That’s what I wannna know. I hope she is not labeled too bad. It will mold her into something horrible.  I sthis an overeaction on societies part in these hypersensitive times? thats my guess.

  • SumrLilli

    I have an 11 year old son.  We have been talking about sex since he was 6.  He asked me.  He heard some info from a kid in the neighborhood and came to me to get the facts.  He knows that no subject is taboo.  He knows that my perspective is sound, honest and protects his best interest.

    I am of the belief that it is a rare, rare child that falls prey to truly evil behavior under good parental guidance.  No parent is perfect, but I know way too many that are simply not engaged.  They are distracted by their own drama.  Which should not take the foreground once children enter the picture.  I know way too many wives/girlfriends too busy trying to raise their man to properly raise their children.

    As far as children growing up too fast…… I have a theory about maturity:
    You can only be as mature as your age.  Period.  If you are extremely mature in one area, you surely will be that much lacking in other area(s).  I see so many young girls today that appear so much older than they are.  What they display in physical maturity makes them that much more of  a little girl in some other way(s). 

    I think our broken homes (I am a single mom and have always been) and all the drama that ensues lead  us to believe that our children are mature – because they are “rolling with it” .   But as mature as they appear – there is a hidden immaturity that is being overlooked and under-nurtured. 

    Just my theory.

    It reinforces my  basic point here – responsibility begins at home.  We continue to put the burden on society to educate, shield and discipline our children and parents continue to get lazier and more distracted from their roles.

    To me, that is ultimately dangerous.

  • Abroad

    *applause for SumrLilli*

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    My son is 12 and you’d be suprised at what they know nowadays at this age! I think 11 is old enough to know about sex and not naive “playing doctor”. Most schools allow 5th grade to start sex ed. Also, I wonder if this was an 11 year old boy would people be so quick to assume overreaction or he was just “curious” or “playing doctror”?

    Both very valid points.

    1.) Who said “playing doctor” is necessarily about naivete? Sex ed started for me in 5th grade, and you better believe I took that information back to the clubhouse at my friend’s house during one of our romps. Adults don’t like to think about it, but when little kids get sexual, it is very often just as much about pleasure as it is experimentation. People don’t tend to voluntarily experiment with shit that’s not fun. :tongue2:

    2.) The girl is being charged with three counts of rape for behavior that we’re kind of lead to believe was consentual. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know I would be just as outraged if it were a boy. That said, there ARE clear double standards in how the justice system treats the two genders.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    We are an over sexed society, and kids are learning things at a younger age. It is us as parents that have the responsibility to shield them from this, and as situations come up explain to them what is going on with their bodies, and what is appropriate and not appropriate. I know this all to well as I have had to start the dreaded SEX talk with my now not so innocent 5yr old because some over sexed teenager’s parents never discussed it with him!!

    We are not an oversexed society. Clearly, you’ve never been to Europe for an extended period of time. ;) If anything, we are undersexed to the point that it bursts out dramatically and inappropriately at times, thanks to our Puritanical roots. It’s the reason you “dread” the sex talk. It’s the reason most Americans do. While we are bombarded with sexually-oriented images, we are constantly reminded that sex and attraction is wrong, something to hide and be ashamed of. That’s the problem. Meanwhile, people in other countries bring their children to nude beaches, and no one’s scarred by it.

    There was a story not too long ago about a woman (teacher? parent?) who took some kids to an art museum and threw a fit, insisting that the museum cover a Roman-esque statue of a naked man because you can see his genitalia. What’s wrong with this picture, the genitalia, or the woman? If you picked the former, you’re part of the problem.

    Sex is biological. Parents should have no more problem talking to their kids about it than they do the relation between objects in the solar system, or learning to drive a car. It’s not something kids should be “shielded from”, it’s something that should provoke honest conversations. Turn it into an educational tool, and not only will you eventually be more comfortable with it, but it will produce unafraid, knowledgeable children.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 Athena

    As I was reading the comments, my first thought was, 11 years old, in this day and age is too old to be playing doctor with other children, even other 11 year olds…

    That’s a matter of opinion, I’d say.

    Then I thought, wonder how old the victim(s) were, if they’re under 6 years, that’s even more inappropriate! If the victim is the same age and didn’t want to be “explored” then the 11 year old should’ve ceased with the touching. Which, I suspect is what happened in this case, the 11 year old didn’t stop and probably teased or ridiculed the victim, in my mind that is sexual bullying!

    You’re just letting your imagination run WILD, aren’t you! :p

    There’s no reason to believe these children were under 6 years. He said “under 10″, which means they could have all been 9. Furthermore, the statement from the detective leads ME to believe that all of these situations were consentual. Why else would he have gone out of his way to point out that “A person under 18 doesn’t have to be forced, either”?

    Given the limited information we’ve got, it would be to assume the worst that the kids were significantly younger AND the situation was not consentual, and I don’t like to assume the worst, necessarily.

  • knotme

    For those of you who are getting their panties all in a wad because too many people are assuming the girl in the pic is the same one in the story… excuuuuse me!!  Hey, not all of us read each and every comment before we post our opinion;  besides, you ain’t my momma… Jesus Christ on a handcrutch.”

  • HotReadingMama

    knotme:
    For those of you who are getting their panties all in a wad because too many people are assuming the girl in the pic is the same one in the story… excuuuuse me!!  Hey, not all of us read each and every comment before we post our opinion;  besides, you ain’t my momma… Jesus Christ on a handcrutch.”
     

    Well dont I feel chastised? Actually, no. No I dont.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    knotme: Hey, not all of us read each and every comment before we post our opinion

    Yeah, we can always point you all out pretty easily. :P