Bagel Rape
March 21, 2009 by Jaded
Steven Adamescu, Carl Ellison, & Blane Chesleigh
St. George, UT–What do you get when you put four drunk men in a motel room with one television remote? A front-page story, of course. Now, drunk guys beating on each other is likely an every day occurrence…so how did they end up here? Two words–Bagel. Rape.
It all went down last SundaySunday reviews
evening at the Economy Inn. Four transients; Steven Adamescu, Carl Ellison, Blane Chesleigh, and another unnamed man, were all staying in a room together…drinking. There can only be one king of the motel room, so when the unnamed man tried to decide what they were going to watch on TV, King Adamescu got his panties in a bunch.
Adamescu dropped a television on the unnamed man’s head and raped him with a bagel and part of a pocket knife. Yes, you read that correctly. He raped him with a bagel. Details as to what kind of bagel it was are lacking; I mean, what kind of bagel was it? Poppy seed? Onion? Sourdough? Did it have cream cheese on it? Wouldn’t a bread stick have been more appropriate for the task at hand? So many question, so few answers…
After Adamescu was done playing around with the bakery items, Ellison stepped up with his two cents. He kicked the unnamed man upside his head, knocking the guy’s head into a brick wall. Chesleigh took part in the beating as well. The three beat the man for about 3-4 hours. After the assault, Adamescu and Ellison left the motel room.
It is believed that Chesleigh called 911 the next morning to report the victim was having seizures. Police arrived at the motel, found the injured man and signs of a fight in the room. The victim was transported to an area hospital, and was later flown by helicopter to a hospital in Las Vegas. He is in critical condition with severe trauma to the head and back.
When apprehended, Adamescu told authorities that he beat the snot out of the victim because he thought the guy was a sex offender. That has been neither confirmed nor denied by authorities. For his part, Steven Michael Adamescu, 31, is being charged with attempted murder, a first-degree felony, and rape with an object, also a first-degree felony. His bail has been set at $250,000.
Carl Leslie Ellison, 18, is facing charges of attempted murder. His bail is also set at $250,000. Blane Douglas Chesleigh, 49, is being charged with aggravated assault for his part in the beating. His bail is $5,000. All three men are being held at Purgatory Correctional Facility.
Authorities say the four men were all acquaintances. The motive behind the beating is unknown, but they do believe alcohol was a factor. Noooo, ya think?
MadeaBecBec has this one posted in the forums.
8:13 am on March 21st, 2009
How fucked up is that? He was just kickin it with his buddies when all of a sudden they want to play hide the bread? That’s just fucked up.
He’ll never look a Brueggars the same again.
8:39 am on March 21st, 2009
Adamescu looks like Charles Manson-in-training.
8:43 am on March 21st, 2009
Another gaggle story. What a bunch of doorknobs. I will never look at a bagel the same. I guess I will have to keep to English Muffins for the time being.
What comes over people that this even comes to mind? All kinds of handy things in a motel room. The remote, the tiny shampoo bottle, even a shoe… but a bagel???
At least they landed in my favorite place for assclowns: Purgatory Correctional Facility.
8:45 am on March 21st, 2009
Hey, IF it turns out the allegation made is true, and the victim is a sex offender (again, IF), will that detail change any of your feelings?
8:57 am on March 21st, 2009
There is NOTHING that teaches a sex offender his lesson like a bagel to the ass!!
9:34 am on March 21st, 2009
No, It still means that my Zucchini Nut muffin will always trump this guys ass bagel.
heh, I love typos…before I noticed it said ‘always trunk” jesus. I’m all about ass today…and so was Steven.
10:29 am on March 21st, 2009
Great Article, SoJaded! You put it so well…..
I vote sourdough (appropriate,huh?) with “cream ” cheese……
I had to chuckle and gag at the same time…. What is that chugaggle?
” Hey you bunch of hobos, let’s all get a room together, down at Econo”
“Yeauhh, they gots a free contintental breakfast thingy”
“I call dibs on the remote, Ima gon find me some porn, I hear dey gots cable”
“I got da whiskey, let’s go”
About 4 hours later……. “Gimme dat remote, you bastid” -”Nope, I ain’t gots to find my porn, yet” – “I said gimme, dis was my idea” – “You hobo shits, Ima gon go get dat breakfast, ya’ll want me to bring some back?” – “Yeauh” -”Sho”- “me three” – “Dig In, erybody, that’s some good bagels”- “MMM, munch,munch”- “Gimme dat remote, you bastid”- Nope,munch” -
“You bastid, you look like a Chester da molester, now gimme dat remote” -”ahh, man, I’m not a molester, day all axed for it”
And, you all know the rest of the story……
Chugaggle!!!
12:14 pm on March 21st, 2009
Well, I didn’t think it was possible, but there is a techno song by Jacob London entitled “Bagel Rape”. here it is.
http://www.jacoblondon.com/mp3/bagel_rape.mp3
2:41 pm on March 21st, 2009
Isn’t that the damn truth!
Thanks Morbid now when I eat a bagel that damn song will be in my head.
2:56 pm on March 21st, 2009
Quite possibly. . . .
I have to agree.
4:28 pm on March 21st, 2009
And thank you, So Jaded, for alerting the public to the dangers of mixing drunks with one remote in a motel room with bagels, not to mention the pocket knife.
(They don’t exactly look remorseful, do they?)
5:02 pm on March 21st, 2009
No. I would still feel that a bread stick was the better choice…
7:24 pm on March 21st, 2009
LOL!
7:36 pm on March 21st, 2009
More proof that you can’t do bagels without lox.
7:45 pm on March 21st, 2009
Good One! When the song comes on Window Media Player and you leave the “visualizations” on randomized, the first thing that comes up when the song starts is a black hole surrounded by pink and purple, now that’s some crazy shiutt!!!
2:13 am on March 22nd, 2009
ahh good old alcohol.
6:54 am on March 22nd, 2009
I’ll be honest on this one… had I been passing that ‘event’ on my way to the ice box, I would have called 911; then, go back to my room and hope the cops don’t knock on my door because whatever happens to any of them is no consequence to me, and I don’t want to waste my time appearing in court on account of these clowns. All of them are a waste of space and air and not a single one of them gives a damn about me, you or anyone else on this planet. Drunks, losers and lazy-ass drifters live a hard life… just don’t want them messing in mine.
7:47 am on March 22nd, 2009
I can think of better things to put on my bagel. Was the knife for spreading?
1:13 pm on March 23rd, 2009
Nothing like some vigilanti justice
No, there can’t be……some minds are just warped!
1:36 pm on March 23rd, 2009
okay, what if the victim had his penis stuck throught the hole of the bagel. i can believe i am even considering how one could be raped with a bagel.
6:00 pm on March 23rd, 2009
I googled:how do you rape with a bagel? and the only thing I found was a cute video on myspace. So, does anyone know how to do this? I asked my husband about his inmate experiences, but he just shook his head. He’s still getting used to my affections? for this site.
6:44 pm on March 23rd, 2009
shayshaymomma85, I was having THE most crappiest of days until I read your post. Hide the Bread, huh…lol
7:26 pm on March 23rd, 2009
So today at work someone brought in a huge bag of Einstein Bros bagels. They were the best damn bagels I have had in a long time. I just couldnt help but try to figure out how I could use one to rape someone with…specifically how I could shove one up some guys ass. Im still at a loss- perhaps it was a stale hard one???
7:19 am on March 24th, 2009
7:20 am on March 24th, 2009
aw man (PUUKKKEEE)…. please tell me you ate the bagels before reading the story and not after…. If you were able to stomach a bagel after this story.. I give you kudos kudos kudos!
3:48 pm on March 24th, 2009
[...] having trouble wrapping my mind around this one and I’ve got a pretty good imagination. The “Dreamin’ Demon” reports: St. George, UT–What do you get when you put four drunk men in a motel room with one television [...]
10:47 am on June 3rd, 2009
[...] Bagel Rape (dreamindemon.com) [...]
9:44 am on June 8th, 2009
[...] Bagel Rape (dreamindemon.com) [...]
10:44 am on July 1st, 2009
[...] Bagel Rape (dreamindemon.com) [...]
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