Women seem drawn to the biggest dude around because of some alpha-male mechanic.

Wow… I can’t believe I missed that comment.

Read the articles that are posted here and take a hard look at the abusers. They are not -typically – the “biggest dudes around”. In my experience as a counselor dealing with domestic violence issues, abusers come in all shapes, sizes and GENDERS, as do thier victims.

Exactly correct. My first husband was an inch or 2 shorter than me (I am 5′7ish) and weighed less than me. Didn’t make him less intimidating – or less violent. He could get really, really mean with some hard liquor inside of him. He had biceps from HELL (small, but powerful)… and used them to overpower me more than once.
I honestly believe he was ‘put off’ by my and the rest of my family’s size. He always referred to my family as “big dumb people”…lol. (it’s funny now) ‘Course, he’d never say that to THEIR faces, though. (my youngest brother was 6′4ish, 230 lbs and played pro ball) My ex WAS a bit scared of him.

Any man with insecurities, low self-esteem or just unresolved ‘issues’ with women can become an abuser. Age and size don’t matter. Women are ‘possessions’ to them. And when they aren’t abusing, they are usually the sweetest, kindest and outwardly gentle men you’d ever see.

I also know there are women out there who abuse the men in their lives. Most men would hesitate to tell anyone, lest they be thought of as ‘pussies.’ That’s sad. No one should feel they ‘have’ to put up with it because they are scared or embarrassed. Woman – or Man.

  Women seem drawn to the biggest dude around because of some alpha-male mechanic. 

Cow droppings. This just shows your bias against big guys.

Read the articles that are posted here and take a hard look at the abusers. They are not -typically – the “biggest dudes around”. In my experience as a counselor dealing with domestic violence issues, abusers come in all shapes, sizes and GENDERS, as do thier victims.

Again, may I shout it from the roof tops, LOVE DOES NOT HURT!!! In any way, shape or form. If a boy or a man demeans you in any way, RUN, do not walk and never look back.

THANK YOU PEEPERANN!!! THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG!

Holy fuck… what is so god damn bad about my words of wisdom? Coming from my own fucking experience. Do these words offend anyone? You guys confuse the shit outta me sumtimes. We are all argreeing on basically the same thing.. so why is my shit being jumped for jumping to women’s defense? I dont blame any of you… Its not your fault…I hate domestic violence just an much as the next person- but no one can help you until you realize that there is a problem and you want to help yourself. I think we are kicking a dead horse here… so this is all I will say. Were all on the same page.. no need for hostility!

it’s still early in the day
Why can’t we all just get along?
LOL

I will ALWAYS love you.

God, it’s like you climbed inside my life 20 years ago!

Zibarro…Only my own life..10 years ago, dear kindred sister.

In my eyes, she is no diferent then the women who take the beatings and refuse to do anything about it. She had an obligation to herself and to the women of America to stand up for herself and she didnt. Instead of proving that she is a strong woman, she showed that shes weak and desperate. Sometimes it takes more strength to let go then it does to hold on.

Short version…
No woman in a DV situation is weak or desperate…Do YOU have any idea what it takes to survive… Do you know the strength to get through each day? DV survivors are among the strongest of women, they are also among the most compassionate.

Rhianna, truly felt she had no choice…until she realizes she does, she will not consider leaving.

Again..you are NOT in her head…you are not hearing his words there..creating self doubt and danger…you are not witnessing the event…YOU are not hearing his threats…knowing he ‘knows’ people…You can not fathom her reality at this very moment…

and while yes, it is heartbreaking to see ANYONE return to a DV situation, YOUR type of accusations accomplish nothing but perpetuating the views of the female fans and the social conscious that abused women are weak and LIKE IT…You are also not caught in the cycle of abuse…

You ARE judging…reacting…distancing and prancing about all you ‘think’
you know….however, THAT behavior changes NOTHING…

Try it on from different perspectives…look for the solution, throwing out bitter, angry and accusitory statements is redundent…..

Lastly, I really hate it when infidelity is automatically placed in the same boat as abuse. Sure, they can both hurt. But the intention is what’s important, from my perspective. Abuse is directly intended to hurt. Cheating isn’t. That’s a huge difference, in my opinion.

That’s exactly what I was trying to say. Another great reply, Athena.

“More succesful” in what sense? Economically? Had more children? Lived longer? Higher on the social ladder? (’Cause I can think reasons why women in the last of those situations might put up with things their less succesful sisters wouldn’t….)

Successful as in, couples who encounter infidelity and get past it last longer, on average, than couples who never encounter infidelity at all.

How can you honestly believe that a man loves you if he cheats on you?? In my opinion, any woman who believes that shit is dumb.

Do I strike you as dumb? Many, many years ago, my boyfriend cheated on me. I chose not to leave him because, unlike most other folks, I’m not territorial and emotionally-driven. He didn’t bring me home a disease and he was legitimately remorseful. More so, we enjoyed a blissful relationship in every other aspect. What sense would it have made for me to trade a man who made me happy but cheated once for someone who wouldn’t make me as happy? None whatsoever. And I don’t do things that don’t make sense for the sake of prinicple.

How did I know that he loves me? My boyfriend is a catch. He’s attractive, charming, funny, talented… He could walk at any time. Instead, he realized the mistake he had made and came back to me. Why would he bother enduring the punishment I doled out as a result of his indiscretion if he didn’t love me? We’re now going on 10 years together and, although, like every relationship, we’ve had our highs and lows, we’re as happy with each other today as we’ve ever been.

Everyone’s circumstances are different. To make the blanket statement that anyone who forgives cheating is dumb is terribly unfair and even a bit ignorant. People are imperfect. We make mistakes all the time. Everyone should weigh the magnitude of the indiscretion against the other benefits of the relationship. Naturally, a one-time affair is a lot different than consistent infidelity, and that disparity should be considered. Also, to make the assertion that anyone owes it to society to make a decision more in line with your values is downright arrogant. Hilary didn’t owe shit to anyone in regard to the decisions she makes in her own private life.

Similarly, Rihanna doesn’t owe it to anyone but herself to walk away from her abusive relationship. But if this is the first time anything like this has happened, and she truly believes it won’t happen again, I can understand why she hasn’t. I can only hope that, for her sake, she’s right.

Lastly, I really hate it when infidelity is automatically placed in the same boat as abuse. Sure, they can both hurt. But the intention is what’s important, from my perspective. Abuse is directly intended to hurt. Cheating isn’t. That’s a huge difference, in my opinion.

Yeah. Dumbest comment of the day so far. Congrats.

it’s still early in the day
Why can’t we all just get along?
LOL

did the same survey with a soccer team 15 players and a baseball team 14 players, wasn’t in the ball park with their survey, so stick it wherever you want.

Yeah. Dumbest comment of the day so far. Congrats.

Wow, biteme, you’ve been irritating before, but I’ve never known you to be so ignorant. You clearly are pulling what you know about surveys, the grant process, and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation right out of your ass. Whatever. If you’re so damned intent on rejecting the survey findings because you don’t like them, go right ahead. But go do it somewhere else.

did the same survey with a soccer team 15 players and a baseball team 14 players, wasn’t in the ball park with their survey, so stick it wherever you want.

Guess million dollar grants don’t count as incentive to control a survey?
Maybe marketing was the wrong verbiage although marketing is what it is, but they could have had grant incentive to get certain answers, and seems they did.

Wow, biteme, you’ve been irritating before, but I’ve never known you to be so ignorant. You clearly are pulling what you know about surveys, the grant process, and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation right out of your ass. Whatever. If you’re so damned intent on rejecting the survey findings because you don’t like them, go right ahead. But go do it somewhere else.