Jacob Matthew Crier
Clay County, FL–Attention: Jacob Matthew Crier, pictured above, is not a cop. As a matter of fact, he completely fails at impersonating an officer. If this tard ever attempts to pull you over, poke him in the eye, kick him in the shin, laugh maniacally, and run away. This has been a public service announcement from the friendly folks here at the Dreamin’ Demon.
An hour before midnight, Sunday night, Jacob crashed a garage party and tried to make off with one of the female party goers. When confronted by the bewildered and confused partiers, the Jacob began yelling profanities at them. He let go of the girl, whipped out a cell phone and pointed it at the revelers. Without another word, he disappeared into the night.
About an hour later, a 29-year-old woman was driving down the road, minding her own business, when a pickup truck behind her started flashing it’s lights. The driver, Jacob, pulled alongside the woman’s car and gestured at her to pull over. Being a woman with more than two brain cells, she refused.
Jacob continued the chase, tail-gating the woman until she pulled over. The woman jumped out of her car to confront him. As she approached his truck, he identified himself as a police officer and yelled at her to put her hands up. He indicated to her that he may have a gun, so she started backing away.
A bystander heard the commotion, sauntered over, and asked Jacob to provide some identification and a badge. Jacob ignored the man. He started speaking into his shirt collar, as though he had a police radio. SickSick reviews
of the silly game, the bystander began to call 911. Jacob beat feet outta there, but not before the bystander got the pickup’s tag number.
Jacob, obviously lacking in brain matter, followed the same woman to her home later that night. She recognized the truck and called the real police. Jacob Crier, 22, was arrested and charged with impersonating an officer. He is being held at the Clay County jail in lieu of $5,003 bail. Dumbass…could’ve at least whipped out a shiny toy badge.
7:00 am on March 18th, 2009
It would have been more realistic if he’d taken off his shoe and said, “Chief, would you believe…”
7:18 am on March 18th, 2009
*speaking into collar on my bathrobe* ” Uh dispatch, we’ve got a looney on the loose”
Hell, screw just using a shiny badge, he could’ve gotten a whole police set, w plastic handcuffs and a radio for about twenty bucks at walmart, if they even cost that much.
From now on, in order to make myself look more important while out in public, I will wear collard shirts/jackets, and speak into them, commenting on the activities around me.
On a more serious note: If the lights aren’t red and blue, I’m not stopping for you!
8:11 am on March 18th, 2009
I cant believe that is all there going to charge him with. you know he was looking for a victim to rape. maybe even worse…he’s going to get out and this is not the last time we are gonna see him on the FP!!! and if some one is flashing you with there headlights dont stop…and if you do stop make it a public place like a well lit gas station!!!
8:17 am on March 18th, 2009
LMAO
That was too funny !
But in all seriousness he does seem to be a sexoffender looking for a victim.
They may wish to check unsolved rapes.
8:48 am on March 18th, 2009
Wow. I just LOL’ed. For real!
9:04 am on March 18th, 2009
WTF? Um what was he smoking?
9:34 am on March 18th, 2009
agree, this guy’s into rape
10:05 am on March 18th, 2009
I’m glad the woman had the presence of mind to not believe him. The thought of a fake cop going around looking for victims has always scared the hell out of me. What’s extremely scary about this is I live in the county right next to Clay County. This nutjob lives too close for comfort.
10:18 am on March 18th, 2009
Lmao
10:43 am on March 18th, 2009
ROFLMAO. Totally doing this at work today.
11:59 am on March 18th, 2009
lol
he likes playing extreme stupid cop
12:08 pm on March 18th, 2009
ROFL! Thanks for the laugh!
Dumbass, for real…. I betcha the PoPo will be keepin’ an eye on Ol’ Crier, they don’t take too kindly to Asshats impersonating them……
Now, I’m gonna be like sanityslipping, put on a collared shirt, go down to the local park and speak into my collar, see what folks reactions are…… If I can keep from cracking up, the whole time…..
12:46 pm on March 18th, 2009
I really gotta start reading and/or watching the local news. I live in Clay County and didn’t hear about this. I work at a nightclub here and while his name sounds familiar, I don’t really recognize his face. I don’t think he frequented our club. Hopefully if he gets out and tries to visit us I will recognize him and tell him to hit the road. We don’t need anymore crazies lol.
1:30 pm on March 18th, 2009
Lol… I know what your talking about! I bought that set for my 3 year old cousin for christmas last year. Maybe he’ll let Mr. Creepy pants borrow it for his next make believe game!
2:16 pm on March 18th, 2009
ROFLMAO Big time!
We can’t go around arresting people for what we think they are going to do. If that was true, I would so be in prison for life. I keep my kids and husband in line by making them think I’m going to do things to them. LOL Although, I may switch to the old “talk into my clothing” technique when dealing with members of the general public.
3:05 pm on March 18th, 2009
Okay, I have avoided saying what I am about to say, but I can’t hold it anymore. WTF is up with Florida and some of their residents? Is there something in the water?
7:54 pm on March 18th, 2009
Ahahahahhahahhahahahha!! Love that!! Thanks Jaded!
Seriously though, that is why you never pull over, even for a marked police car in a lonely isolated spot. You signal with your lights that you understand and drive slowly and carefully to a well lit and populated area with lots of people around.
7:55 pm on March 18th, 2009
Yep, it’s called the “Casey Koolaid” Everyone seems to be drinking it down there.
2:09 am on March 19th, 2009
Wow. That woman was lucky that Jacob Crier wasn’t an armed, very dangerous predator. What was she thinking? If this scene were in a horror movie, a rowdy theater audience would be shouting out: “Don’t get out of the car! Don’t get out of the car!” Sends chills down my spine to think of any woman getting out of her car at night to confront some asshole who’s harassing her. Glad a bystander helped out.
6:33 am on March 19th, 2009
He sounds as if he went off the “deep end” somewhere along the line. Pointing a cell phone at the party guests? Speaking into an imaginary mic on his collar? Hell – since when do cops drive PICK-UPS? “Cop” is the last thing I’d be thinking in that situation! Nut-job, rapist, road-rager… anything but COP! Geez, woman! You really dodged a bullet here!
I think Jacob needs a mental eval – and soon!
11:10 am on March 19th, 2009
The city this happened in is Orange Park Florida and he is at the Clay County Jail. LMAO. I am from this area and just like any other area we have a few crazies. I think it is the heat … LOL…. And around here cops drive a lot of different things but they are called “undercover” cops and do not just pull people over… I always keep my eyes open and I LOVE FLORIDA….. never a dull moment!!!
12:57 pm on March 19th, 2009
Ummm yeah, if your not sure call 911 and they will tell you if it is a real police officer or not. This guy is a freeeeaaaaak!
3:35 pm on March 19th, 2009
??? What the hell…was he on something…or is he just mentally impaired…or both?
3:36 pm on March 19th, 2009
LOL
4:36 pm on March 19th, 2009
As we used to say in Louisiana…..it’s not the humidity, it’s the stupidity
9:13 pm on March 19th, 2009
Holy shit..I got a big laugh outta that one ROTFLMAO!~!~
9:25 pm on March 19th, 2009
Douche bag – Party of one.
6:18 am on March 23rd, 2009
Heads up, America! Never be passive just because someone SAYS they are in authority.. make them prove it!
6:53 pm on March 23rd, 2009
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JACOB MATTHEW CRIER WAS RELEASED FROM PRISON ON BAIL MARCH 22!!!! HE IS A DANGEROUS, DILLUSIONAL CRIMINAL WITH A VERY SERIOUS CRACK COCAINE ADDICTION!!!!! KEEP YOUR DOORS LOCKED!!!!! IF YOU SHOULD BE SO UNFORTUNATE AS TO RUN INTO HIM CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY IF HE SO MUCH AS LOOKS AT YOU THE WRONG WAY!!!!!!!!
5:16 pm on March 24th, 2009
I know this guy! He used to be a crackhead, not so sure if he still was seeing how i never associated with him too often but from what i remember hearing at one point he cleaned himself up. I know he’s bi polar too so maybe that had something to do with the whole mess. And Dangerous?!?!?! LMAO Jake’s like 5′8 120 lbs dude; a strong wind could
knock that kid over.
Next time I see the kid I’m so gonna fuck with him about the radio thing.
5:40 pm on March 24th, 2009
Please Please do! But, make sure you stay away from his cell phone! ROFL!!
7:48 pm on April 26th, 2009
[...] Jacob Crier Didn’t Fool Anyone (dreamindemon.com) [...]
12:26 pm on May 25th, 2009
[...] Jacob Crier Didn’t Fool Anyone (dreamindemon.com) [...]
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