Updates by emailNEWSLETTER Subscribe to The Dreamin DemonRSS Subscribe to The Dreamin Demon

LA Woman Gives Birth To Daughter’s Boyfriend’s BabyParents Charged After Leaving Liquor Store With 4 Kids Strapped To Hood Of CarMan Named Sparkle Attacks Girlfriend With InsecticideMan Posting Penis Pics On Girl’s Facebook Pages Tells Cops It’s ‘No Big Deal’Man Throws Hot Coffee On Clerk During Argument Over Unpaid SandwichInvestigation After Sixth Graders Make Gay Porn Video During RecessConvict In Jobs Program Arrested For Attempted Rape Of Co-WorkerTeen Charged With The Murder Of 9-Year-Old Half-Sister Found Hanging From TreeMan Arrested After Plot To Kidnap Ex-Girlfriend As Sex SlaveWoman Charged In Torture-Death Of Her Three-Year-Old Daughter

Nicole Leonard Spreads Her Magic

March 5, 2009 at 6:03 am by  

20090414144130n Nicole Leonard Spreads Her Magic

http://www.myspace.com/saintfuckingtheresa

Laurens County, SC–I recently discovered that I have about 35 minutes of spare time each day to fill. What to do? I was in dire need of a hobby. Stamp collecting? Too boring. Collecting bits of twine to make the world’s largest twine ball? Shit, already been done. I know! I’ll spread my magic and dance at the funerals of complete strangers! Just like Nicole Marie-Loretta Leonard…

Nicole was driving aimlessly through town Tuesday, when she spotted a funeral procession. With nothing better to do, she joined in. Cause, you know, funerals are a blast!

Upon arrival at the Church of God in Gray Court, Nicole respectfully took her seat among the mourners. A feeling came over the woman…not sadness, not bereavement…she felt the need to dance! She boogied up the aisle and started dancing in front of the coffin. She then produced a wand, waved it around the casket, opened the lid, laid her hands on the deceased, and bonked him in the head with her wand. She took a handful of flowers and tossed them at the flabbergasted audience before disappearing in a haze of magical fairy dust. Just kidding…she disappeared in a burgundy Toyota.

Officers caught up with the silly sprite down the road. When asked about her antics at the church, Nicole told them she ‘felt it was the right thing to do at the time.’ No, she didn’t know the dead guy, she was just driving through the area from North Carolina when she came upon the procession.

Nicole, a recent graduate from The Center For Massage and Natural Health in Weaverville, N.C., has this to say on her Holistic Anywhere web page:

‘My private office is tucked away in a serene valley surrounded by an amazing mountain-scape. My loving energy and slow flowing technique provide a truly outstanding relaxation massage. I used my knowledge and ability to help those around me by offering free massage therapy on an unprofessional level.’

Maybe she thought she was providing a much needed service to the deceased? Personally, I’d like to book her in advance, for my own funeral.

Nicole Marie-Loretta Leonard, 25, was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and disrupting a funeral. She was released from the Johnson Detention Center on Wednesday.

Thanks to Siobhanm for posting this in the forums. This story made me LOL.

Tags: ,
44 Comments

Comments


The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.

  • Kdogg

    you have to admit, she would certainly keeps things intresting

  • nadine

    WACK JOB WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?
    WOW
    NUT JOBS MAYBE SHE SHOULD JUST GO TO HER SECLUDED ISOLATED PLACE AND STAY FOREVER

  • hunnie

    <. I used my knowledge and ability to help those around me by offering free massage therapy on an unprofessional level.’

    OK this makes one wonder ….what ‘free massage’ is she talking about?……and on an ‘unprofessional level…

    free advertisement for sex?

  • Lavonna

    So Jaded you have a way with words. Love it

    LOL@boogied up the aisle

    I am glad this one wasn’t child abuse or murder :-D

  • Metta4

    LOL at her myspace url… Definitely doesn’t look or sound like the sharpest crayon in the box…

  • Wicked Doll

    Times are tough, so the chick who is usually the Tooth Fairy has had to branch out. She is now also the Funeral Fairy.

    Wonder what that dance looked like? Maybe she did “the Elaine” from Seinfeld.

  • CassieMomma

    Fucking Freak! Was she on acid?

  • 2 boys mom in NC

    Another dumbass from my home state…Jeez……….

  • siobhanm

    LOL, when I read “she felt the need to dance” I thought of the Evolution of Dance. I’m wondering why no one stopped her before she opened up the coffin? I guess they were all stunned. That must be some strong magic to do that!

  • Dakota Valkyrie

    I’d like to surprise everyone with this when my time comes. If anyone cares to volunteer, just let me know. Must be available on short notice from now to whenever. I’ll provide the wand and a small gratuity. Not needed if my dad is still living.

  • RunecirE

    I’d like to surprise everyone with this when my time comes. If anyone cares to volunteer, just let me know.

    You don’t want me dancing for you, absolutely no grace or rythm. The funeral would turn into a stoning, I’m sure. Plus, a 200lbs male looks hideous flopping around throwing fairey dust and bopping people with a wand. (Wasn’t that done in a movie)
    LMAO :D

  • RunecirE

    Another dumbass from my home state…Jeez……….

    Don’t take it too personal… ***whispering*** They’re everywhere!

  • KAEB4

    I’d like to surprise everyone with this when my time comes. If anyone cares to volunteer, just let me know. Must be available on short notice from now to whenever. I’ll provide the wand and a small gratuity. Not needed if my dad is still living.

    I would glady be your dancing funeral fruitcake.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aurniastar my_2_Cents

    free advertisement for sex?

    Thats the FIRST thing that came to mind after reading that.

    You don’t want me dancing for you, absolutely no grace or rythm. The funeral would turn into a stoning, I’m sure. Plus, a 200lbs male looks hideous flopping around throwing fairey dust and bopping people with a wand. (Wasn’t that done in a movie)
    LMAO

    not to mention you would probably be arrested for indecent exposer or some trumped up thing. LOL ;-)

  • 2 boys mom in NC

    Don’t take it too personal… ***whispering*** They’re everywhere!

    You always make me feel better, Runecire! ***Hugs***

  • shayshaymomma85

    What is she smoking? I’d like an ounce or two :)

  • biteme

    ‘My private office is tucked away in a serene valley surrounded by an amazing mountain-scape. My loving energy and slow flowing technique provide a truly outstanding relaxation massage. I used my knowledge and ability to help those around me by offering free massage therapy on an unprofessional level.’

    free advertisement for sex?

    Thats the FIRST thing that came to mind after reading that.

    she does seem fun
    just a free spirit, looking for that mystical rod
    LOL

  • MadeaBecBec

    Methinks the “Spirits” took over her body and she had no control….
    You know she says; “You are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.” (From her myspace headline)
    Or she could’ve just smoked a bit too much of the “magic” dust, IDK!
    Made me laugh though!

  • http://twitter.com/BluExtacy BluExtacy

    yeah….. ummm…. yeah…… that… wow…

    she does seem fun
    just a free spirit, looking for that mystical rod
    LOL

    niceeeeee!

  • easilydistracted

    I’m sorry I know this isnt the place but I have a question.

    When you comment on another users reply…and their comment appears above yours in bold print….how are you doing that? How are you making the other users comment appear in bold type. I have tried to find a reply button etc.. to click but I haven’t had any luck.

    I’m sure its probably right in front of me but I can’t find it.

  • MadeaBecBec

    When you comment on another users reply…and their comment appears above yours in bold print….how are you doing that? How are you making the other users comment appear in bold type. I have tried to find a reply button etc.. to click but I haven’t had any luck.

    Whenever you want to do that just left click on the post that you want to repeat and it will appear in your comment box……

  • easilydistracted

    Whenever you want to do that just left click on the post that you want to repeat and it will appear in your comment box……

    Thanks!!

  • Athena

    Some firewalls block the ability to automatically quote. If you need to do it manually, the code is < blockquote > Text here. < / blockquote > only without the spaces.

  • RunecirE

    You always make me feel better, Runecire! ***Hugs***

    YW. ***HUGS*** i’m big on hugs ***HUGS***

  • RunecirE

    she does seem funjust a free spirit, looking for that mystical rodLOL

    Maybe there was a hidden Nexis under the Church that got her spirit and juices flowing. “I have the POWER!”

  • Insomniac

    Disrespectful bitch.

    That picture of her is scary, she looks like the Terminator.

  • mipmop

    So jaded this is a good one,,i aint laughed this hard in a long time,this chick takes the lead on the dumbass award..

  • tutkill

    Times are tough, so the chick who is usually the Tooth Fairy has had to branch out. She is now also the Funeral Fairy.

    the funeral fairy lol
    now that is stuck in my head

  • AMinFH

    WTF?

    I wonder if this is her first time- really, who would think of doing this to a stranger no less???

    Yeah its funny in its twisted way but I think more because it didnt happen to me. I feel badly for the family. I would be very hurt if someone did this at either of my grandparents’ funeral services- its just so disrespectful!

  • WryBread

    It certainly gave the bereaved family a story that will be told for generations.

    I didn’t know you could just pop open the casket. Something to remember for when I come too late to view the body ….

  • WryBread

    I have to add that she has the most tolerant, misunderstood look on her face in her mugshot. Like “you all just don’t appreciate my magic.”

    Maybe she should have given the dead guy one of her unprofessional massages.

  • btrflyangl

    As looney as she is, I’m just happy to see that she’s not molesting or beating children.

  • http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=7562046 Pixie

    I like this lady.

  • fatcatmama

    Dance ,magic,dance! Love it! she can dance at any funeral that I have to go to,I hate funerals,so please by all means lil miss nutty dance your heart out.

  • mominAZ

    I can’t stop looking at her weird lazy eye!

  • Senna

    I’m sorry…this was just too freakin’ funny! I’m sure the relatives of the deceased aren’t too amused, as some people prefer not to have fun at a funeral. My family’s not like that. Whenever someone dies, we break out the booze and give the deceased a nice, old-fashioned roast. (After all, you can’t spell “funeral” without “fun.”) Personally, when I die, I was thinking about having my corpse shot out of a cannon. Or hiring a clown. Especially if my husband is still alive. He hates clowns and it would drive him nuts:)

    Anyway, this was a refreshing change. It’s nice to see a harmless idiot engaging in crazy antics. I prefer people like this to all the child-raping, murdering, kidnapping, etc. trash I normally read about here.

  • http://www.myspace.com/kelli_laine_doa mom_of_Kelli

    i wish she would have showed up at Kelli’s funeral. it would have been sooo much better than our (now ex) pastor using Kelli’s entire service to recrute new members for the church! asshat.

  • WryBread

    Dance ,magic,dance! Love it! she can dance at any funeral that I have to go to,I hate funerals,so please by all means lil miss nutty dance your heart out.

    FatCat — You can probably contact her through the police department and issue the invitation to your funeral. Set it up now. Your family may not honor your wishes in this matter when you are gone. Have her pop out of one of the flower arrangements. That would be so cool.

  • http://www.myspace.com/titicarie philly_phan

    METH KILLS! Whatever she was smoking, she better keep that to herself.

  • Friday

    This was on her myspace page.————-> Mood: sick

    She’s aware.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    We were contacted by Nicole, and actually, she seems kind of matter-of-fact about the entire ordeal. She is bi-polar and now on medication. She has posted a blog entry explaining her side of the story which can be accessed via her Myspace page.

    But here is the entry in its entirety (Nicole, if you’d rather people click over to see it, let me know)

    I danced at a Funeral ; My side of the story

    So, anyone who watches the news probably saw my ugly face on television. Yeah I’m ugly. Atleast I can admit it. I woke up that morning hearing music from Heaven. My diagnosis is Bipolar 1 with psychosis, has been all my life but they didn’t give me a label until about a year ago. Anyway…about the music from heaven… I just heard it and knew that someone close to me was about to die. My friend Doug lives in Florida. His body has rejected five livers (including his natural one). I jumped in my car to head southward and I got lost. I parked in front of a mountain and prayed “Please Lord give me some direction”. Just then, a spirit appeared in the passenger’s seat of my car. It told me that I was it’s compass. I see spirits all the time so this was not a big deal to me. I knew it was a friendly ghost so I just went along for the ride. Two hours of driving seamed like 20 minutes for me.. I ended up in Lauren’s South Carolina.

    And that’s when the spirit disappeared from my car. I went into the gas station to get a pack of smokes. Anyone who knows me knows that I am blind in one eye. The officer in the store took one look at my eyes and thought I was on narcotics. I don’t even know what a narcotic is, my brain makes all that shit naturally. He searched my car and didn’t find anything. I got into my car and drove down the road a ways and there he was, dark green sparkling shadow hanging out in the grass by the Church of God. Spirit directed my body where to go, what to do and say. It enterred my body, too. It needed my body to say a few last words, that’s all. It said “I love you, I love you”.
    So that’s that. I’m on medication now and the spirits come less and less with every day gone by.

    And Doug is still alive, thank God (Please help me pray for him his name is Doug Norton Beard and he is in Jacksonville Florida). Unfortunately, my dog passed away. It doesn’t matter who you pray for as long as you pray for your self first. You can’t help people unless you have the strength to take care of YOU first, and don’t argue with me about this I know exactly what I’m talking about.

    So that’s that. On one hand, somewhere between her stating she is ugly and the quip about her brain manufacturing her own narcotics, I actually started to like Nicole, even though I am sure she freaked out some friends and family.

    On the other, it scares the shit out of me knowing what goes through the head of someone who is not on the medication they need.

  • http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=446437751 FlamingFox

    So that’s that. On one hand, somewhere between her stating she is ugly and the quip about her brain manufacturing her own narcotics, I actually started to like Nicole, even though I am sure she freaked out some friends and family.

    So, she’s the ONE! I do like this picture a lot better! And, yes, she sort of scares me, too! I’m glad she’s got her meds!

  • Jennie420

    I’m glad she is geting the help she needs. She could use her 15 min of fame to help other people with the same illness by bringing attention to it. I do think though that she should start crashing weddings instead of funerals. I think the families would be more receptive to it and it would really get everyone on the dance floor to jumpstart the party. Some nice cards with her contact info and she is in business!

  • Pingback: Woman Charged After Dancing Naked At Cemetery | CrimeCrawlers!