Acea Schomaker Had A Hyper Pussy
March 3, 2009 by Jaded
Lincoln, NE–Acea Shomaker’s pussy was acting up…it was out of control. The little pussy just wouldn’t calm down. At his wits’ end, Acea figured a little mary jane would soothe the savage beast. So, he crammed the little pussy into his homemade bong.
Acea’s crafty little bong just shows what an inventive little stoner he is. I mean, just look at it. It consists of a plastic 12″x6″ aquarium-type box, what looks to be a half a roll of duct tape, and some garden hose. Crafty!
Acea was busted when police were called to the home on a disturbance SaturdaySaturday reviews
night. It was discovered that Acea had a warrant out for his arrest, a drug warrant. When officers entered Acea’s room, with the permission of his grandfather, they found him tokin’ away.
As they were slappin’ on the handcuffs, they noticed Acea’s bong was moving…on it’s own. That must have been some good shit! No, it wasn’t the pot, it was a 6-month-old kitten trapped inside the contraption. Acea told officers that the kitten was uncontrollable-he was just trying to calm the poor thing down. He did. The poor little thing was dazed-n-confused. On the ride to the animal shelter, she never moved a muscle.
Acea Shomaker, 20, was arrested on the warrant, possession of marijuana and animal neglect/abuse. The kitty is said to be recovering and waiting for a new owner.
The kitten in question…
10:00 am on March 3rd, 2009
jaded, you forgot his myspace! here it is:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=24305981
go read his stoner musings and blogs, it shows you just how stupid this tard really is.
10:07 am on March 3rd, 2009
Thanks…I knew I was forgetting something.
10:19 am on March 3rd, 2009
WTF? seriously, that’s is insane. So he’s token it up with his kitty ‘cept the kitty’s in the bong?! ….I would say you go to be high to think that one up.
10:24 am on March 3rd, 2009
Fucking Loser. Put him in a home made bong.
10:26 am on March 3rd, 2009
Okay, this peice of garbage is MINE! I’m a SERIOUS cat lover, and have had cats as my pets since I was just a wee kid. Unlike kids who have the gift of speech, this poor animal doesn’t have the ability to tell the cops that shithead is a damned liar! Let me at him…. let me at him…. I’ll scratch his friggin’ eyes out!!!
10:31 am on March 3rd, 2009
LOL, make sure you use the schwagg, he doesn’t deserve the good stuff.
And, oooo..yeah, lace it with PCP so he goes crazy trying to get out and..and…and maybe his brain will pop…and his eyes ball will ’splode..and yeah…sumtin like that.
10:31 am on March 3rd, 2009
I do honestly feel bad for that cute little kitty, but I personally wouldn’t mind being put in the bong!
10:33 am on March 3rd, 2009
I think he’d volunteer for that one
10:34 am on March 3rd, 2009
You, Acea Schomaker, are an epic failure. Please, do some more drugs. Do enough to kill yourself and spare us your stupidity. Moron.
10:40 am on March 3rd, 2009
Great mind, my thought exactly!
11:00 am on March 3rd, 2009
I can’t see his MySpace, but I’m sure it’s full of insight into what a genius he is. That kitten is super cute. Clearly better off without this moron!
What kind of name is Acea? Anyone else ever heard of it?
11:38 am on March 3rd, 2009
Hopefully, that will be Shadow’s first and last high he will ever be on. Some one in the forums noticed Acea had a scratch on his neck. She said maybe he would get cat scratch fever LOL.
11:46 am on March 3rd, 2009
No, it’s a new one for me. At first glance reading the headline & seeing his picture, I thought the story was about a transvestite.
12:09 pm on March 3rd, 2009
his myspace is back up, myspace wasn’t working right earlier but it should be fine now. let me reiterate, this is a must see, especially the blogs. and seriously, read his about me, it’s a real assterpiece of teenage emo stoner philosophical thought.
i’m glad that poor kitty was ok after this, he deserves better. there’s nothing wrong with enjoying some fine weed. but if you’re so fucked up that putting a kitten in a bong sounds like a good idea, then you should probably cut back. i’ve never heard of anything like this, and i’m a U of M alum…whatever he was smoking must have been laced with acid. or maybe he’s just a tard douche to begin with, which i could believe.
12:11 pm on March 3rd, 2009
Assterpiece! Hahaaaa!! A new word for my ever expanding vocabulary!
12:16 pm on March 3rd, 2009
Acea is a name of a old guy on OLTL an ABC soap. probably where his momma got it. That is such a cute kitten he wouldnt of had any trouble if he thought Outside the box.
12:19 pm on March 3rd, 2009
Ok maybe putting the kitty -in- the bong wasn’t the best idea, but you never heard of animals joining in the fun?? I had a friend of a friend, whose uncle……..nevermind
12:20 pm on March 3rd, 2009
I’ve just beheaded him on myspace, i’ll keep you posted.
1:28 pm on March 3rd, 2009
Hmmm, I think I know that uncle…
1:57 pm on March 3rd, 2009
FOR REAL, HURTING ANIMALS TO ME IS WORSE THAN HURTING HUMANS, EVEN THOUGH IT IS HORRIBLE TO HURT PEOPLE, BUT ANIMALS, THIS IS SO DISTURBING TO ME JUST SHOOT THE LOOSER NO GOOD POT HEAD SMOKING BASTARD SHOOT HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES
3:04 pm on March 3rd, 2009
I wonder if the kitten got the munchies
I think he would LOVE it!
This is insane and the look on his face reads PLASTERED! He kind of looks like a wacked out Macauly Caulkin!
3:11 pm on March 3rd, 2009
I cannot decide whether he has earned himself a job on Blue Peter or a trip to the “gas”-chamber……
4:38 pm on March 3rd, 2009
Acea: the scientific name of a (specified) class or order (Etymology: L, neut. pl. of -aceus)
So his name should actually be Dumb-Aceus
Manfred von Assenhammer: Good One! Love It! Assterpiece, Thanks for giving me another word to describe some people I know……
4:53 pm on March 3rd, 2009
I just looked at his mypsace, too funny! His top friend, is “The Cats Meow” and one of his favorite books is Manson’s biography….. Is that Marilyn or Charles, I wonder?
5:26 pm on March 3rd, 2009
LOL, Assterpiece!!! Hahaha…
“Dumb-Aceus” is good, too!
5:49 pm on March 3rd, 2009
Only his name was spelled Asa (sorry long time OLTL fan here). Off topic tidbit – did you know that the actor who played him died recently? Or even care? LOL!
That kitten sure is cute….I’m glad she’s going to get a safe new home.
8:04 pm on March 3rd, 2009
What a douchebag. I am so glad he was arrested before that precious little baby kitten died. And she would have. Marijuana is not safe for cats. Duh.
Poor little baby kitten. I can’t imagine what she could have done for him to think she was uncontrollable. I’ve rescued four feral kittens who now live in my home along with their more domesticated counterparts. The craziness that goes on can get stressful once in a while. (My mother says I must be superwoman to put up with their shenanigans.) But never, never would I dream of hurting them or, gods forbid, putting them in a bong.
I’m wondering, though…was this guy already stupid or did he burn too many brain cells by toking up too much?
12:28 am on March 4th, 2009
Dickfuck. Seriously. That is a kitten- dude put it in cuz he was being a cruel dick, everyone knows all a grown cat needs is a lil poof, never mind a kitten. I’ve had ghetto kittens- I wonder where he got his.I like his handiwork- with the bong, not the kitten. I really think they’re both pretty cute, and would be glad to provide a proper home for both kitten and bong. Dude, this actually made me smile! Dude’s still a dick, tho.
3:20 am on March 4th, 2009
ok no fair, i use to enjoy fine smoke but got preggy, and laid off it till my baby was born, after the changes it makes to your body the one i suffered was dry lung yes you heard me not drymouth but dry lungs, bawahaaa, i tried it after he was born and thought i was dying cause my lungs got dry =0(
8:00 pm on March 4th, 2009
Shit!!!! Put ME in a homemade bong!!
Not all those who smoke are like the aforementioned douche bag
10:39 pm on March 4th, 2009
If this were only the worst thing on this site…unfortunately its not…
goofy kid.. maybe he’ll outgrow this dumb ass phase he’s evidentially in..
Was that not the BEST title for a story ever!!…except now it should be…Acea Schomaker had a mellow pussy
7:15 pm on March 14th, 2009
He has a blog about this incident on his MySpace now with lots of comments from his friends.
7:19 pm on March 14th, 2009
Hahaaaaaa!! Well, at least he’s owning up to it.
7:53 am on March 29th, 2009
Check out the one before that…some guy named “jim” has decided he wants to hate on me…LMAO!!
7:55 am on March 29th, 2009
Check out the one before that…some guy named “jim” has decided he wants to hate on me…LMAO!! Apparently I am a 7th grader who is male and UGLY and he is going to make me wash his car…heh heh.
7:56 am on March 29th, 2009
OOps…sorry for the double post!
8:29 am on June 24th, 2009
[...] Acea Schomaker Had A Hyper Pussy (dreamindemon.com) [...]
2:57 pm on September 24th, 2009
Acea Schomaker has been sentenced to 90 days in jail and ordered to pay almost $1,200 in restitution to the Capitol Humane Society for its care of the kitten, which has since been adopted.
What I found amusing was that Schomaker told his parole officer that he was not an animal abuser and if he disliked an animal he “would not be wasting pot on it.”
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