Thomas Teague Approached The Bench…
February 13, 2009 by Jaded
…and pooped on it.
Thomas Whitley Teague
Brownsville, TX–Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce 26-year-old Thomas Whitley Teague. Mr. Teague graduated from Texas Tech University in May 2008, and in NovemberNovember reviews
, gained his license to practice law in the state of Texas. Mr. Teague is also a former Cameron County assistant DA. Teague now has a smear on his resume…he will forever be known as that guy that took a dump outside of an IHOP restaurant.
Imagine you are sitting there at your local IHOP, devouring a short stack with a side of bacon…you look up to see a man taking a shit on a bench right outside the entrance of the restaurant. How would you react? Personally, I would laugh until coffee came out of my nose…then I would reach for my camera and think about how glorious my 15 minutes of YouTubeYouTube
fame is gonna be. Others reached for their phones and called the cops.
Authorities found Teague to be more than just a little intoxicated: bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, unsteady on his feet, booze on his breath. They also found a large amount of shit on the bench. No mention of any toilet paper in the area. Teague was arrested and charged with public intoxication and disorderly conduct. He was released from the municipal jail Monday, after he paid a $200 fine. Classy dude.
Please note: Thomas Teague resigned from the DA’s office on FridayFriday reviews, before the poop incident over the weekend. Teague cited personal reasons for his departure.
On a more personal note: Thomas, it’s been a long and depressing week here at the Dreamin’ Demon…thanks for the comic relief.
8:07 am on February 13th, 2009
He should have wiped his ass
8:26 am on February 13th, 2009
Shit for brains.
9:09 am on February 13th, 2009
So Jaded,
Where in the hell do you find this shit? (Pardon the pun…)
9:19 am on February 13th, 2009
Lol…call it a knack.
9:32 am on February 13th, 2009
I guess he was having a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity morning.
10:18 am on February 13th, 2009
What a dumbass.
10:30 am on February 13th, 2009
Hey Thomas Whitley Teague!!! You dirty piggy, you take the chorus…
When you’re sliding into first
And your pants begin to burst
diarrhea, diarrhea
When you’re sliding into two
And your pants are filled with goo
diarrhea, diarrhea
When you’re sliding into third
And you feel a greasy turd
diarrhea, diarrhea
When you’re sliding into home
And your pants are filled with foam
diarrhea, diarrhea
10:35 am on February 13th, 2009
Boilly thanks for the song, now that is in my head. Crap
10:54 am on February 13th, 2009
Better ways of expressing you dislike for the serving staff…
Not the tip they were hoping for, i’ll bet. LOL
Ditto, Lavonna. That’s a bunch of shit, boilly, now what the hell are we gonna do to get it back out? LOL
11:04 am on February 13th, 2009
Oh god I will never be able to eat that again!!!
11:20 am on February 13th, 2009
the title on this one is great! lol
11:28 am on February 13th, 2009
this story really makes me think of this question for some reason:
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the 5th person likes it?
Also, I heard that the bench started it by talking shit about him.
12:30 pm on February 13th, 2009
I believe it. Those benches can be mouthy little bitches.
1:48 pm on February 13th, 2009
I was fine until I read “Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity morning…..” You owe me a new monitor. Thanks!
1:57 pm on February 13th, 2009
6:05 pm on February 13th, 2009
And get a splinter in his ass?
6:17 pm on February 13th, 2009
I so wish I was in the mood to laugh but unfortunately I’m not.
He is a shithead!
9:40 pm on February 13th, 2009
did this really happen is brownsville, tx ?
9:47 pm on February 13th, 2009
Yep.
12:31 am on February 14th, 2009
Holy shit! I would die laughing! I wouldn’t call the cops, but then again I don’t have any kids. I’m sure his owner was carrying a bag to clean it up, who leaves the house with their dog without the “poop bag”?
2:18 am on February 14th, 2009
LMMFAO@ this one,its nice to have something funny like this to read,omg i have been so drunk that i dont remeber what i did that nite,but i have neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr took a dump on a bench in public..thanks for the funny one.
2:18 am on February 14th, 2009
Man, I just ate! The visual is disturbing… wish I’d not read this one.
10:42 am on February 14th, 2009
LMAO~ OHMYGDS! I remember that one when I was a kid….
11:31 pm on February 14th, 2009
i once took a shit in my step mothers purse…god that was a long time ago…j/k
8:51 am on February 15th, 2009
extreme times call for extreme measures, but … um I just take my pants off and shit into the toilet. …
2:13 am on February 16th, 2009
P.S. I’m hoping this tag *public defecation* grows for the future. It’s always been a favorite of mine. Hard to find good public defecation threads online tho.
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