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Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

January 27, 2009 at 11:43 am by  

Crystal Walden (Myspace)

Portsmouth, NH–Crystal Walden has a problem. She lives all the way over in New Hampshire and her abusive ex lives all the way over in Texas. Crystal wants reconciliation. With little money and no vehicle, Crystal has quite a dilemma on her hands. What’s a girl to do?

I know! How about you drag your drunk ass over to the nearest TA truck stop, knock on the door of the first semi you come across, and offer up some good lovin’ in exchange for a ride? Yeah. And, while you’re at it, how about you drag your 10-year-old son along with you for the ride? And what do ya know, that’s exactly what she did!

Police found a 10-year-old boy wandering around the truck stop at about 10:30 Saturday night. It was freezing cold and the kid was without a coat and shoes. When asked where his mother was, the child replied, ‘She’s in a truck having sex with the driver.’ The kid had jumped out of the semi after mommy and the truck driver started in on the horizontal bump. Can’t say I blame him. The boy said his mother took him out in the cold after arguing with his grandmother, and they hitched a ride to the truck stop.

Authorities soon found Crystal and her new love interest. Her pants were on inside out and she appeared intoxicated. The truck driver confirmed the boy’s story. Crystal had knocked on the door of his truck and asked for a ride to Texas. The driver has happy to oblige, if Crystal was willing to put out.

At her arraignment on Tuesday, Crystal hysterically stated to the judge, ‘I got drunk on Saturday and went to the truck stop…it’s only because I was drinking tequila! I’m really, really sorry and I promise I won’t drink again! Please don’t take away my babies.’ She claimed she was new to the area and had no idea how cold it could get. I think you would have a pretty good idea how cold it is outside once you walk outside, right?

Crystal Walden is being charged with two misdemeanor counts of child endangerment. One count for not having the child properly dressed for the cold weather and another count for having sex in view of the child. Another charge of interference with custody is expected to be filed. Crystal disobeyed Texas court orders which gave custody of her children to her mother. That order was violated when Walden attempted to flee the state with the trucker. Her bail is set at $2,500. If bail is made, she is to have no unsupervised contact with her children. It is not known if the truck driver will also face charges.

Kudos to Crystal’s mother! She appeared at the arraignment and stated to the judge that Crystal was not allowed to return to her home if she made bail. Grandma is concerned about the safety of the children because of her daughter’s drinking and foul language.

UnamusedCat has this one up in the forums. Thanks UC!

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Comments


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  • FlamingFox

    I knew this would make the FP! Thanks Sojaded! Great write-up! And also thanks to UnamusedCat! This really had me going last night!

    At her arraignment on Tuesday, Crystal hysterically stated to the judge, ‘I got drunk on Saturday and went to the truck stop…it’s only because I was drinking tequila!

    I sadi it before in the forum, but I guess I can share it here with others as well.

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…whore!

    I hope she never gets custody of her kids again and that poor kid is able to one day overcome what his skank of a mother did to him!

  • HotReadingMama

    I saw the title of this in the new comments and jumped over as quickly as I could, my mind racing as to where exactly I was Saturday night.

    Alas. This had nothing to do with me. Just some cunt who whores herself out for rides in front of her FREEZING SON. WTF? Anybody here ever been that drunk before? Anybody?

  • HotReadingMama

    P.S. Her myspace mood is “adventurous” Heh. You aint kidding.

  • TheVelvetFog

    What was the point in taking her son with her? Another example about the selfishness of parents who can’t/won’t provide a stable life and yet will drag the poor children through hell “as long as they’re together.” I’m sure the little boy will have fond memories of this adventure with his mommy.

  • biteme

    Crystal Walden (Myspace)

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…whore!

    LOL

  • http://www.myspace.com/justdazin So Jaded

    Is it just me, or does it look like one of her boobs is extremely out of proportion?

  • FlamingFox

    Is it just me, or does it look like one of her boobs is extremely out of proportion?

    Yeah, you’re right. Kinda like the reverse of a hunchback. She’s got more humps than a camel with cushings disease.

  • buggysmommy

    Honey,it looks like all of her is out of proportion!

    Nasty Whore!

  • silvahalo

    …The truck driver confirmed the boy’s story. Crystal had knocked on the door of his truck and asked for a ride to Texas. The driver has happy to oblige, if Crystal was willing to put out.

    Yeah, no shit, she got a ride…not to Texas….

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…whore!

    FlamingFox….this is perfect! LOL…

    So glad to see grandma, is a real mom….be well and happy little ones.

  • TheVelvetFog

    Looks like she cancelled her MySpace account already.

  • WryBread

    Are those her breasts or did she shoplift some loaves of bread?

  • boilly

    What a sad little pig is Crystal Walden. Her “babies” are far better off without her around. Shitty mother.

  • FlamingFox

    Are those her breasts or did she shoplift some loaves of bread?

    I’m not sure, but she’s got me singing.

    My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.

  • NJLiLi

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…whore!

    Second time today that I sprayed my lappie, darnit. This is a must use!!

  • ecvmanzo

    Nasty ass whore. New to the area and doesn’t know how cold it can get? It’s fucking New Hampshire in winter. I live in Southern California, and I know very well it gets cold up in NH!!!! Stupid Drunk Twat. She wasn’t cold, with all that damn tequila in her system!

    Poor little boy having to see his mom doing the deed. Frankly, I’d stick pins in my eyes had it been me…YUCK

  • Soobs

    “After, ten rounds of Jose Cuervo……I started hooking at the local truck stop.”

  • http://www.myspace.com/titicarie philly_phan

    What a way to get your husband back! Fuck a truck driver in front of your son…stupid cunt.

  • http://www.myspace.com/titicarie philly_phan

    Her MS is deleted. Alas…

  • MadeaBecBec

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…whore!

    ROFLMAO!!
    It appears that she’s making an attempt to be “Tequila Sexy” in her mugshot, too!

    Girl, needs a chest makeover! Seriously!
    I’m thinkin’ if I was a 10 year old I would rather freeze, too, than witness what he did.. Ewwww!
    Kudos to Grams!
    I hope her ex, knows how to online search……

  • ecvmanzo

    She has crazy eyes. Try moving around the room while her picture is on your screen….They follow you…She is a bit spooky after looking at her for a while….Just sayin’

  • FlamingFox

    She has crazy eyes. Try moving around the room while her picture is on your screen….They follow you…She is a bit spooky after looking at her for a while….Just sayin’

    Okay, I wasn’t going to respond anymore because I felt I had enough fun today at her expense, but I had to take another peek after this comment. You’re right. It’s like the Jesus pic. Scary! She’s gonna haunt me tonight for all I’ve said about her. I hope she does so I can at least kick her ass in my dreams. :)

  • ecvmanzo

    Almost like the Jesus pic, with one HUGE exception. Jesus holds a glass of wine, and she holds a bottle of Tequila….LMAO….I might have just found something that might scare my 4 year old into listening.

  • Special2bme

    Is it just me, or does it look like one of her boobs is extremely out of proportion?

    OMFG, SoJaded I was going to rush commenting, I said no surely someone else notices it with that tight ass shirt on.LMFAO I hope the slut never gets custody of her kids again.

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…whore!

    Tee-hee!!!

  • Zibarro

    If the bitch wanted to hook at truck stops – what the fuck ever. But – leave your freaking son with your mother! Why the hell do bitches have to be so damn selfish and rip these kids from their safety and security just because “He’s my kid”? So fucking what?! He’s not a fucking trophy or a prize you take around and show off! Parents using kids as pawns, leverage or a way to get sympathy make me sick! THIS bitch makes me sick!

    Stupid whoring cunt. Hope they strip her of her parental rights. Then, sterilize her. Maybe while they’re at it, they can fix that HUGE problem in her T-shirt! Good Lord! Is she hiding another child in there? Or a puppy? Or a couple of watermelons? That’s grotesque!

  • Taz

    Thanks Granny for careing and giving that poor child a better home, then that low life whore of a mother ever could. Next time she comes around you give her a big whack upside the head with a bottle of tequlia for us. Then when she is passed out sew her cooter shut so she cant have any more kids.

  • http://www.myspace.com/dneil73 Dneilz

    Anyone got her myspace in cache? They deleted the profile… damn it… I wanted to see

  • Taz

    Anyone got her myspace in cache? They deleted the profile… damn it… I wanted to see

    Just google this ” profile.myspace, 447359608 ” and click on the cache tab

  • manfredvonassenhammer

    well, i hate to sound like i might be making an excuse for a disgusting whorebag, but she may have a good defense after all. when i looked up the cached version of her myspace, it did not list her profession as dirty truck stop whore. so maybe it WAS the tequila that made her do it!

    no, seriously, who gets drunk and says “hey, i think i’ll head on over to the truck stop and whore myself out in front of my ten year old son?” i’ve seen some massively stupid drunk behaviour before, but this one is new to me. that poor kid will be traumatised for the rest of his life. no one should ever have to say that their mother is in a truck banging the driver.

    oh, and as great as it is that the grandmother is taking such a firm stand against her fucktard daughter’s drinking and whoring, i’m rather surprised that she brought up foul language in court. clearly there are much more serious problems going on.

  • http://www.myspace.com/dneil73 Dneilz

    Just google this ” profile.myspace, 447359608 ” and click on the cache tab

    Thank you TAZ! :)

  • http://www.myspace.com/dneil73 Dneilz

    love the mugshot… looks like a mixture of tard and whore. hmmmm- enough said

  • dammitall

    Almost like the Jesus pic, with one HUGE exception. Jesus holds a glass of wine, and she holds a bottle of Tequila….LMAO….

    I think Jesus has smaller tits, too.

  • Siobhan

    Are those her breasts or did she shoplift some loaves of bread?

    Ah, Wry, how I’ve missed seeing your smiling slice!

    Second time today that I sprayed my lappie, darnit. This is a must use!!

    NJLiLi, you’ll soon learn not to consume any beverages while reading here, and find that in doing so, you’ll be saving a small fortune in paper towels. ;)

  • Abroad

    At her arraignment on Tuesday, Crystal hysterically stated to the judge, ‘I got drunk on Saturday and went to the truck stop…it’s only because I was drinking tequila! I’m really, really sorry and I promise I won’t drink again! Please don’t take away my babies.’ She claimed she was new to the area and had no idea how cold it could get. I think you would have a pretty good idea how cold it is outside once you walk outside, right?

    In my experience, people don’t generally do anything completely out of character when they’re drunk or when they are hypnotised. If anything they just become more the person they always are underneath the varnish.

  • Lavonna

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…whore!

    That was funny.. Thanks for the laugh

  • porcelain

    Those are Clown tits!

  • http://www.myspace.com/aprilamber April

    Those are Clown tits!

    I didn’t even know clowns had tits!! WTF??? Do they honk if you squeeze them?

    AAAAAHHHH UUUUUUU GUH

  • bahaley4e

    Kudos to Crystal’s mother! She appeared at the arraignment and stated to the judge that Crystal was not allowed to return to her home if she made bail. Grandma is concerned about the safety of the children because of her daughter’s drinking and foul language.

    Good for the grandma. Finally a family member who sees that something is seriously wrong and acts on it rather than defending her daughter! Shows she’s fit to raise this poor child.

    P.S. Her myspace mood is “adventurous” Heh. You aint kidding.

    Lmfao……. boy I guess she was!

  • Zibarro

    In my experience, people don’t generally do anything completely out of character when they’re drunk or when they are hypnotised. If anything they just become more the person they always are underneath the varnish.

    Hmmm……

    Then I guess that makes me a flirting, puking, sleepy mess! LOL Seems those are the 3 attributes alcohol brings out in me :-)

    I do agree though. I don’t think you do anything while drunk you aren’t capable of or perhaps have even thought of while you’re sober. Inhibitions be damned. I know my ex’s thought about hitting me while sober — but they only did it while drunk!

  • biteme

    In my experience, people don’t generally do anything completely out of character when they’re drunk or when they are hypnotised. If anything they just become more the person they always are underneath the varnish.

    I don’t think anyone really cares what she does with her body drunk or sober, I could be wrong, but I don’t think she would have brought her son along if she had been sober.
    I personally don’t care if she services truckers, relaxes them on their long drives, last thing we need is a frustrated driver behind a sixteen wheeler. I know not funny, couldn’t help myself.
    But I am serious about not caring who she fucks or why if her son wasn’t involved, wasn’t with her and well cared for.

  • Dakota Valkyrie

    I guess she forgot her promise.

    While on probation for endangering her child while she engaged in a truck stop sexual encounter, a local woman was arrested twice in one day for driving while intoxicated, police allege.

    Full article: http://www.seacoastonline.com/articles/20100112

  • Dave

    You can drink tequila in my house. Take off your clothes in my house please!