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Jose Cain Chicas Needed A Nap

January 9, 2009 by Jaded  

Filed under: Alcohol-related stupidity, Assault, Crime, Mugshot, Tresspassing 

Jose Cain Chicas

Jose Cain Chicas

East Naples, FL–You’ve had a long, grueling day at work. You just want to get home…take off your shoes, throw on some comfy clothes. Maybe read a few chapters or even take a relaxing nap before dinner. You head for your room, you just can’t wait to jump in between those sheets and WTF? There’s a homeless drunk guy in your bed. Don’t you just hate when that happens?

Dianne Williamson, 53, told police that when she arrived home after work Wednesday evening, she found a strange man in her bed. (Not PeeWee Herman strange, creepy drunk homeless guy strange). Instead of finding the nearest heavy object with which to pound the stranger, like I would have done, Williamson woke the guy up and kindly asked him to get the hell outta her bed. After a drunken struggle with the sheets, 43-year-old Chicas managed to get on his feet. Perturbed at being roused from his slumber, Chicas started cussing at Williamson, approaching her with a closed fist.

Again, Williamson kept her calm and started to walk away to call police. Chicas followed her. Now that he was awake, he was feeling a little randy. He whipped out a $10 bill and asked her to have sex with him. Somehow, after choking back some bile I’m sure, Williamson managed to get the drunk Don Juan out of her house. He then approached some of her neighbors and began to harass them as well. I wonder if anyone accepted his gracious offer of $10? Nah…he was arrested.

Jose Cain Chicas was taken to jail and charged with trespassing, assault, and obstruction of an officer. ICE also placed an immigration hold on Chicas. Guess he won’t have a problem with sleeping arrangements for a little while.

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Comments

  • Concerned Citizen
    I laughed my ass off at this story.


    Especially this part...

    After a drunken struggle with the sheets, 43-year-old Chicas managed to get on his feet. Perturbed at being roused from his slumber, Chicas started cussing at Williamson, approaching her with a closed fist.


    I keep imagining her holding this guy back by the forehead with one hand while dialing the police with the other.

    Great article, So Jaded.
  • canadian girl
    I laughed my ass off at this story, I know it's a little scary to find a stranger in your bed but at least no one was hurt and the $10 "proposition" was an hilarious part to the situation. I would ask for $20, then lock him out of the house(I know, I'm mean) without any sexual attention.
  • Sashirelli
    That guy would never walk out of my house unscathed. I don't think he would be walking ever again.
  • Uvgottabkiddin
    I'd call and say, "there's a man in my bed, I'm going to start shooting in 10,9,8,..."
    they'd be there quick....

    and never settle for less than 13.50 ladies your vagina your price! BITCHES UNITE! LMAO
  • I wouldve run out of the house so fast that the back of my heels wouldve been kicking my ass cheeks. I would then call 911. Im glad she's ok, but what was she thinking waking up a strange man that broke into her house?
  • Castille
    I would have been back outside so fast I would have set the floor on fire.. And I would have called the cops.


    Oh, me too, in a heartbeat. The most negative experience I've had with our police is they were rude, and implied I invented an intruder once, lol. I'm just aware of people in the same community who won't call them to their homes, given their experience, even if the circumstances are dangerous.
  • justmeintn
    Guess he won’t have a problem with sleeping arrangements for a little while.

    Roflmao!!!

    No kidding - ten bucks????? I’d be insulted at that lousy proposition and would have kicked his ass for that alone. I’m worth at LEAST $12.50!!!!


    I go for $13.00... :D
  • jj999
    Where I live, the police have an annoying history of shooting people - among other not-very-community-friendly behavior. I can totally understand someone not being quick to call them, especially if the situation isn’t already completely out of hand. Alternatively, perhaps she was armed, and felt confidant about it.


    Castille, I'm afraid I would find the situation to be completely out of had when I found someone had broken into my home, and was sleeping on my bed. I would have been back outside so fast I would have set the floor on fire.. And I would have called the cops.
    Kathleen is lucky she wasn't harmed.
    I hope she throws away her bed and has the bedroom fumigated. I would...
  • Castille
    Where I live, the police have an annoying history of shooting people - among other not-very-community-friendly behavior. I can totally understand someone not being quick to call them, especially if the situation isn't already completely out of hand. Alternatively, perhaps she was armed, and felt confidant about it.
  • pms.247
    No kidding - ten bucks????? I'd be insulted at that lousy proposition and would have kicked his ass for that alone. I'm worth at LEAST $12.50!!!! :)
  • Taz
    (Not PeeWee Herman strange, creepy drunk homeless guy strange). Instead of finding the nearest heavy object with which to pound the stranger, like I would have done, Williamson woke the guy up and kindly asked him to get the hell outta her bed.


    Hey I am all for helping the homless, but that doesnt include them breaking into my house while I am gone and sleeping in my bed. I think he deserved a good noggin whacking for being in the bed and whole lot more for that $10.oo comment.
  • Zibarro aka Kryssa
    Uh uh --- I'd bet OUTTA there! Calling the cops from a safe distance away for damn sure! Better I do my freaking out in the presence of acquaintances than that of a complete (drunk) stranger.

    Kathleen, I hope you know how damn lucky you are he didn't wake up violent instead of horny!
  • auddie
    Gee Kathleen, you really dodged a bullet (or worse) by waking up Ole Rip Van Chica up . . . hard to say what anyone would do in a situation, so scary.
  • CassieMomma
    Thanfully she wasn't hurt, although I'm sure really shaken up. Maybe that's whey she acted the way she did. It would of been a better story if he would of gotten the shit beat out of him :) Oh well.
  • silvahalo
    No way I would have woken up a slumbering stranger in my bed. I would have walked out slowly with the phone and called police and my husband. You just can't take
    a chance with a slumbering idiot...he could be wielding more than his stupidity.
  • bahaley4e
    Is he still sleeping in this mugshot? Did they just prop him upright for pic? :)
  • I see that Jaded would have bopped him over the head.


    Automatic reaction to unwanted men in my room. ;)
  • WHY would she even wake him up? As soon as I smelled or saw his nasty ass, I would have been on the phone w/ 9-11 and OUT of that house! LMAO @ soliciting for $10...he was still half sleep, he had to be! He pulled a Robert Downey Jr. but this guy went to jail...
  • Ruby
    I think she's very lucky and not very safety-savvy! I would have backed slowly out of the room and either called the police or left the house and called the police from a neighbor's phone. I see that Jaded would have bopped him over the head. Either response makes sense in some way to me.

    But why on earth would you wake him up and risk your safety to engage him in conversation? Doesn't the fact that he's broken into your home and passed out in your
    bed preclude the likelihood of reasonable dialog? Seems that way to me!

    I'm glad it worked out ok for her, and she's safe. But I think Ms. Williamson is just plain nuts.
  • Uvgottabkiddin
    great write up sojaded =) what a butt munch he is, and how the hell did she know if he was awake his eyes are still closed !!!
  • bahaley4e
    Guess he won’t have a problem with sleeping arrangements for a little while.


    Isnt that true! Afterall, I guess thats what he was looking for. Still pathetic. And kudos to the woman....I would have gone crazy! If I came home and found sum drunk mexican (or anyone for that matter) in my bed.... oh boy I'd hate to know what I would do. Glad she's okay tho. Drunk, Tired, Man.. 3 deadly words when used in conjunction with eachother. Who knows what could have happened. Man I would have flipped a shit!
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